Jan 24, 2009

Where the Gurls Are

When highly paid columnists like David Brooks and George Will are at a temporary loss for a good column, here is how the day goes.

  1. Spend the morning on the phone chatting aimlessly.Go for a long lunch. Have that 2nd drink
  2. Go back to the office
  3. Find some data and draw completely unsupportable and sweeping conclusions
  4. Dash off 750 words in 18 minutes
  5. Take a schvitz at the club and nap in the back seat of the Town Car on the way home.
So it can be with unpaid scribes like your faithful and fashionably fitted out friend Petra. You see, this weekend I am travelling and at a slight loss for time. I just knew that I would need to half-ass my way through a blog entry, so I downloaded a snapshot of data from my site analytics application, Google Analytics. It may surprise some of you to know that I can determine a few generic things about you, including the country that you are in when you visit Voyages en Rose. And so, on the basis of this data I am going to draw my own completely unsupportable and sweeping conclusions about cross dressing around the globe.

There are big differences between George Will, David Brooks and I though:

  • I am going to tell you how I am wrong. Those clowns would never admit it.
  • I am going to aim for, and hopefully achieve, witty, pithy, and at moments perhaps even funny.
How I am wrong:

  1. The data sample is heavily skewed to English speaking countries. We are missing the attention of beautiful ladies with exotic accents and fashion flourishes from the non-English speaking world. Additionally, even functional English as a second language girlfriends are liable to have a hard time with my ornamental prosings.
  2. The data set is small. Yes, a data sample of north of 2,000 is in play here. While we can make assumptions about the domestic US population on 1,000 data points (because it is a relatively homogenous group). we really need a pure data set of 10,000 cross dressers to be able to draw sensible global conclusions.
  3. Poor sample diffusion and distribution. Petra Bellejambes has only been chipping her nails on this blog for about 7 weeks. Gifted girls from 61 countries have flashed a little thigh or batted a dark and lengthened eyelash here. But our 61 countries are a little random. Time will sort that out.

This lame labor of love results in a wholly unscientific value we will call (henceforth) the “Petra’s Gross National Propensity for Cross Dressing” or the PGNPCD Value. Here is the math behind the model.

# of visitors from country / countries population * Random Petra Value * 3.14 = PGNCDP

Got it? OK, so what did we learn.

The Seychelles has by far and away the highest PGNPCD value in the universe at 3.82. The nearest competing nation is The U.S. of A with a value of 1.53. The Seychelles are an equatorial tropical island paradise off the horn of East Africa afloat in the Indian Ocean. Is this tiny country truly the most CD/TG friendly place on the planet? Likely not. It’s too hot for tights, there’s not much in the way of shops, and with a tiny population it would be hard to keep your habit closeted. The Seychelles has this mad-high PGNPCD value solely because 1 special visitor out of a population of ~ 80,000 who spent a little north of an hour here on Voyages en Rose.

Beyond those CD drawbacks, I imagine that with very few miles of paved roads, it would be a bad physical environment for walking in heels. I could be wrong entirely though and would love to hear from our dear sister in The Seychelles. Please drop a line here (anonymous comment will do nicely if you like). If, for reasons we cannot see from here, The Seychelles is indeed cross dressing paradise, please let us all know. I think you can expect me to charter a plane shortly and show up with about 100 of my closest and cutest friends. Here is the rest of the top 10 (click on chart to enlarge):

More careless observations about Planet CrossDress will come in the future when I am at a total loss for real content. Let me finish here today with a lament about the low representation of most Asian countries. Clearly, language has a lot to do with the poor PGNPCD numbers from this group of nations, but it just breaks my heart that China with a mere 2 visitors out of a population of more than 1.3 billion is in last place of 61 nations. So many slender people with fine fine features and all those gorgeous clingy silk gowns. China should be the world leader in cross dressing along with everything else they choose to.

And that would be the sort of globalization that I can actually agree with David Brooks and George Will on. Speed the day….

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