tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88364988475608721012024-03-14T13:29:19.545-04:00Voyages en RoseThe Crossdressing Diary of Petra BellejambesPetra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.comBlogger249125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-18958038471087618812019-12-18T23:04:00.000-05:002019-12-18T23:08:36.199-05:00Inside Out<br />
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<span class="MsoSubtleReference"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">Surface elements that reveal the core<o:p></o:p></span></span></h2>
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Abide a moment, Dear Reader, while I reacquaint my fingers
with the keyboard. They (my fingers) are stumbling about (the keys) like a newborn
colt, a little goofy and lacking of purpose. Yes, it has been a while.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimltPbpRqPQKC81ZeBMPMdcFGzBnR4l_ga4JRdn8FCAwsqPt5orP79YshUzHY5uA06UrM6EGzdIdUEPohdvYVt-gacsklOLQusQv9ErTSq2ASrF9aMEK8lgn1mD5_K1AKerM_kww72hYA/s1600/Petra+NYC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="936" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimltPbpRqPQKC81ZeBMPMdcFGzBnR4l_ga4JRdn8FCAwsqPt5orP79YshUzHY5uA06UrM6EGzdIdUEPohdvYVt-gacsklOLQusQv9ErTSq2ASrF9aMEK8lgn1mD5_K1AKerM_kww72hYA/s320/Petra+NYC.jpg" width="187" /></a></div>
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Happily, my feet remain nimble whilst all heeled up. Absence
from Blogistan has not connoted absence from the life of full expression. With
the cool weather well set in for the Atlanta winter, I have been on a little
run, and have enjoyed a lovely embrace of the world. It still feels fresh and
enlivening. And there is always an opportunity for upping one’s game.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Make Up</b>.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I have found that one can keep brushes sharp and blush lines
blurred by going to school. I realize I am going to sound like a Grandmother,
but the online world is ripe with tuition. It is strange that I automatically
went to YouTube to determine how to change a headlight on my CRV, but was late
to the party on consulting online experts about how to make my bulbous nose
recede with the aid of contouring tools.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It must also be said that ventures to <a href="https://www.ulta.com/">Ulta</a>, whether in drab or en Femme are
typically met by great advice and a happy lack of curiosity about one’s
motives. The general vibe I have found here is “<i>sure, why wouldn’t you want
to look gorgeous</i>?”. Very fluid place.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Make up has in common with shoes the following: Price is a
good indicator of quality. The difference in appearance between bargain brand
and value vendor is not so distinct at the start of an evening. By the end of
an evening, the little splash out on quality pays off on the feet and face. I
have formed an attachment with <a href="https://www.smashbox.com/top-products?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIjOPPuObA5gIVl5OzCh3BvQ1qEAAYASAAEgJuNfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds">Smashbox</a>.
Finding your make up muse is going to take kissing a few frogs. Well, get
kissing. That’s what Princesses do after all.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5mMUtK2gshhltIXpHblaxv4SukKZcpZKjeOrpu6AsP-9Tq818pvk9yRFovslaY969cKv-Bmljc0Z0jV86AFjSlyufmzs3FM5QTirxUluxrdR1a_y55gEKAXOPNBl7MPsvBxcLWpLQy5M/s1600/Petra+Wolford.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1158" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5mMUtK2gshhltIXpHblaxv4SukKZcpZKjeOrpu6AsP-9Tq818pvk9yRFovslaY969cKv-Bmljc0Z0jV86AFjSlyufmzs3FM5QTirxUluxrdR1a_y55gEKAXOPNBl7MPsvBxcLWpLQy5M/s320/Petra+Wolford.jpg" width="230" /></a></div>
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In any event, spend per your requirements, but seek advice
online and in the real world both.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>More Make Up<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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So, I did not fully apprehend until recently that make up is
a thing <i>south </i>of the neckline. Well, this is a revelatory finding I must
tell you. Once you have followed the click-bait into the vast universe of YouTube
facial contouring videos, do not be surprised to run into cleavage contouring
features. I have been getting great value out of these learnings in part
because this is make up I can apply with my glasses on. That is a real plus.
Age has not been kind to my eyes you see. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But <b><i><u>wow</u></i></b>.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I have a swimmer’s body minus the lungs. Wide shoulders,
small cup with a vast prairie of sternum in between the low dunes. Plungy bras
don’t work so well for me, and push ups have tended to merely smush. I have
dresses that I cannot bear to part with, but which simply don’t flow well
around my bust. My necklaces may as well hang on scarecrows. I have always
covered up by chest, and relied on full breast forms to create an external silhouette,
to which I have contributed virtually nothing other than holding my shoulders
back.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiICg66XzJDCIbxJptc8lGJbVg_9-0-PXErHyvFjfBWbLTbYOzj7bOYZNDoNOP-XBevT18wTqyyjaD-4DkIspnz9huSgDUp2FutIEvdwnMbDQ9dIoPu9rII6-rWLRGDRv5ix40alaVjieQ/s1600/Grateful+Petra.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1014" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiICg66XzJDCIbxJptc8lGJbVg_9-0-PXErHyvFjfBWbLTbYOzj7bOYZNDoNOP-XBevT18wTqyyjaD-4DkIspnz9huSgDUp2FutIEvdwnMbDQ9dIoPu9rII6-rWLRGDRv5ix40alaVjieQ/s400/Grateful+Petra.jpg" width="252" /></a>In short, I have no flesh. But, a few minutes online, a little
make up applied with the right brushes, and a couple of <a href="https://anna-bella-fine-lingerie.myshopify.com/collections/accessories/products/siliconvalleyboobtape">strips
of tape</a>, and then optionally, a little silicon cookie tucked in, and
presto, I am actually filling out my bra, with, well, <b><i>me</i></b>. And to use
a retrograde expression, va va voom! I don’t want to be objectivized. I don’t
want to be the subject of leering male gaze (or envious female gaze). But if it
is to be, then it should be about more than my calves. And having, displaying
actual cleavage touches me way beneath the surface.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Feeling that way<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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O, what a natural thing, putting it all together and going
out into the world. And yet how becoming Petra remains an intoxicating,
all-encompassing, fully immersive neutron-bomb of glory. Always with wide open
plains of opportunity for experiment, optimization and, for fleeting moments
now and then of real feeling beyond longing, a feeling of belonging and being
and beauty.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I hope old friends and new who find this post feel this way.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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Happy Holidays to you all.<o:p></o:p></div>
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xoxo - Petra<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-56174090468094894022017-07-16T13:25:00.000-04:002017-07-16T13:28:06.779-04:00What was said. What I’d have loved to have said. In Two Parts.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span class="MsoSubtleReference"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">What was Said. Part 1</span></span></h2>
<b>Mrs. Bellejambes</b> celebrated a birthday recently. Some of the
things I picked up for her were not perfect, and one was a complete repeat of a
top she already has and does not wear in high enough rotation to require a double.
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back to Bloomingdale's we go for the true up effort. <b>Mrs. B</b>
attacked the racks while I managed the return transaction. <b>Mrs. B</b> is not so
avid a shopper as I. She was hailing me and holding aloft hangers for quick thumbs
up or down from me while I engaged with the shop assistant.<br />
<br />
The assistant swanned
off to a rack to grab an SKU number, all tall, elegant and compelling. Apart from
a smile that could cause large ships to run ashoal, she was tall and stately
in a gorgeous black midi sheath dress with a big knee to nape exposed back zip
all perched on a pair of 5 ½” pumps. 6’3” easy and of perfect, healthy
proportion.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I, at this moment am merely <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dying</i></b> of envy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of her colleagues happened by.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<i>“New shoes??!”</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<i>“Yup! Just yesterday. Love them.
Didn’t even pack flats today”</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
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Back at counter, she is now clicking away at the point of
sale terminal.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Did I hear new shoes, no back up?”</i></div>
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<br /></div>
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“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Yes!</i>” (blinding smile)</div>
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<br /></div>
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“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">And you are on your feet all day.</i>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Yes!!”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(big eyes)</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Tha</i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">t is a bold choice”</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Well, I am only on for 6 hours today so I should be OK</i>”</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<i>“Ah. Well, you look terrific so I hope it all works out for you”</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Me too! Thanks!!” </i>(more click click click)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I arbitrated a few fashion coin tosses with Mrs. B. She
traded complements with the assistant. Mrs. B is as much of a traffic stopper
as our towering new friend. Both clearly not jealous types, and naturally
generous. We (<i>You and I dear reader</i>) envy too that happy sororities freedom to
share compliments, do we not?<br />
<br />
<br />
Our transaction done, tissued and tariffed, off
we went with the rest of the day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span class="MsoSubtleReference"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">What I Would Have Loved to Have Said. </span></span></b><br />
<b><span class="MsoSubtleReference"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></span></b><br />
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<b><span class="MsoSubtleReference"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"></span><b><span class="MsoSubtleReference"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"></span> </span></span></b></span></span></b></div>
<b><span class="MsoSubtleReference"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">
</span></span></b></div>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Do you cover the BCBG
and Alice and Olivia racks too? I want to be sure you are paid if I find
anything really pretty for me while my wife takes care of business here. Don’t get
me wrong, I love Eileen Fisher, but she is not in my sweet spot. Yours either,
am I right? </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I just wish I was in
pretty mode today so I could try a few things on. And don’t
hate me but I <u>need</u> your dress. It's a Victoria Beckham isn't it? <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Where</b>
is she and do you have a 6??”</i></div>
</div>
<h2>
<span class="MsoSubtleReference"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">What was Said. Part 2</span></span></h2>
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">In chap
mode recently, with friends and family, all together celebrating a milestone
birthday (not one of mine or <b>Mrs. B</b>’s) at a nice restaurant. I was seated next
to the BirthdayGirl. She was bejeweled, hair piled up and pleated party dress all
atwirl. It <i>did</i> register with me that she chose a flattering silhouette. High
waist, full full skirt, square neckline, all elements conspiring to do the job of accentuating the
positive and obscuring the negative. I chose a pretty typical guy compliment.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You look <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">great</b>. Happy
Birthday</i>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kisskiss and hughug all around the table.</div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">We
settled in for apps and bubbles and the chit chat started up in the way it
does. BirthdayGirl and myself uniquely at the table had a great long view of
the room which allowed us a peek at the big glass entrance beyond the Maître D's
station. Loads of light and people pouring in at dinner hour here close to the
Summer Solstice. Terrific eye candy and BirthdayGirl is reliable with the
play-by-play people commentary.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">Some
couples make an effort together. 95% of the women really knocked it out of the
park. 95% of the guys total schlubs. Lots of dazzlers, just no dazzling
couples. You really wonder at the lack of symmetry. I mean guys, thanks for
leaving the ballcap at home but, </span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really</span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">, would a jacket <i><b>kill
you</b></i>? </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyhow... The two tall women breached the big glass door.
You and I of course would have spotted them a mile away. Apart from the height,
there were the broader shoulders, the giveaway gaits, the weather tossed wigs,
the wardrobe choices that set the ladies apart from us all and from each other
too.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One conservative, long skirt, boxy cardigan,
sensible shoes and the big baubly necklace. The other all rhinestone-glitter,
body-conscious, clingy party frock barely covering butt all perched atop the
black sheers and towering strappy platforms.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BirthdayGirl is a proud, liberal, contemporary city dweller.
Her social circle is a crazy quilt of diversity. She is in most of the rooms
she occupies a minority, and feels a real kinship with other minorities in part
as a result of her personal experiences. She really does take joy from being in
the company of people with different edges and expectations. Rather a
generational hallmark in my experience and one of the perennial badges of urban
sophistication.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Arched eyebrow half in my direction, the other half towards
our new minority diners.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">O. My. God. My day is now <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">fully</b> made</i>…”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I returned her
conversational volley.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hmmm. Maybe she should have stayed away from the rhinestone number. It’s
a little too after-dark-dance-floor for an early supper table don’t you think…?</i>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She ran to the net and lobbed:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Her bag is wrong too. Big satchel and small dress is a never-never
no-no</i>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, we big city types have that class of Cole Porter blasé
repartee on tap at all times. We even use words like blasé and repartee. We are loathsome, no? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The hostess waltzed our minority diners through the buzzing
dining hive and sat them nicely, somewhere out of our field of view. At which
point the conversation drifted back to careers, milestones and the ceaseless
examination of our various and manifest quirks of inherited and privately
cultivated neuroses.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dinner was choice.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span class="MsoSubtleReference"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">What I Would Have Loved to Have Said. Part 2</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>"Oh my dear, I have to tell you. She, well, <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">both</span> ladies might at this moment feel at
some level terrified, but that feeling is overwhelmed by every else. They feel
free. They feel beautiful. They feel electric and more alive right now than any
other time they can remember. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>They feel right. They will want to bottle this
feeling and spray it on every other moment. They want to have this feeling,
this memory as their deathbed thought. </i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I do not think we can hope to see anything so beautiful as
these two ladies tonight.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I know this in my heart. We should talk. Really,<b>
really</b> talk"</span></i><br />
<br />
<span class="MsoSubtleReference"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Epilogue</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">These things are not said. An opportunity for honest,
full expression is missed. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Turbulence is avoided and the bright blue vistas on
the other, unseen side of the clouds remain a Shangri La, a Never Never Land, a
Passport page unstamped. </span>Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-10840293447966276432015-12-30T12:34:00.001-05:002015-12-31T09:38:10.051-05:00Epic. Iconic. Mine.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid-OUjCz7xluxUyQFmgfGLhxl9Y7a5QnN6dN8owGag4kETqfoCAdZPo8KJ2HIl5e-5xnSiPiiFiAu4YU0NM6U7sN8rTMo-oYIkPWoPvm5EmFP7sBwYZjXxy1KTWc_Rsmp7HaR8MVA_flI/s1600/Louboutin+Pump+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid-OUjCz7xluxUyQFmgfGLhxl9Y7a5QnN6dN8owGag4kETqfoCAdZPo8KJ2HIl5e-5xnSiPiiFiAu4YU0NM6U7sN8rTMo-oYIkPWoPvm5EmFP7sBwYZjXxy1KTWc_Rsmp7HaR8MVA_flI/s200/Louboutin+Pump+2.jpg" width="86" /></a><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">I find
time and inspiration today, <i>dear Friends</i>, to finish the year with a scribble
and a thought or two. Won’t trouble you with any ponderings on the import of
the waning old year or the opportunities presented by the waxing new year.
Today is <b><i>all about fashion</i></b>.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd6MZ1C-u1gRmf8gZ71g8YFFldvIpUHDC2arDdjH9N7SUkEhMrmdOD3I1bOVrSSmhiJEASzSj6goewha_EA7VH70eaQaJUM22KQRy8HpXoReR92WIRnFis-8yuHIN-KD0DT1zi-XqZ6j4/s1600/Chanel+Clutch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd6MZ1C-u1gRmf8gZ71g8YFFldvIpUHDC2arDdjH9N7SUkEhMrmdOD3I1bOVrSSmhiJEASzSj6goewha_EA7VH70eaQaJUM22KQRy8HpXoReR92WIRnFis-8yuHIN-KD0DT1zi-XqZ6j4/s200/Chanel+Clutch.jpg" width="165" /></a><span style="font-size: small;">If there were a<b> Maslow’s Hierarchy</b> of feminine presentation,
battling for the peak of the pyramid would be a handful of epic designs, pieces
so desirable, timeless and celebratory of womanhood that generations of women
lust for them. Me too.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">The <b><span style="color: #4c1130;">Chanel Clutch</span></b>. The <b><span style="color: #4c1130;">Louboutin Pump</span></b>. The <b><span style="color: #4c1130;">Cartier Watch</span></b>. Things
that effortlessly broadcast “because I’m worth it” in a way that L’Oreal needs
to spell out. Pieces that, if one ever really found herself stranded in a war
zone, you could pawn for an exit visa (but deep down you know you simply wouldn’t
part with them). </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">It is a select list, and I propose to add to it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">The <span style="color: #4c1130;"><b>Diane von Furstenberg Wrap Dress</b></span>.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">The <b>DVF Wrap</b> was perhaps the most perfectly timed design
since Noah’s Arc. <b>Ms. Von Furstenberg</b> had just recently pitched up on American
shores from a design apprenticeship in Italy with a bag of her own early
samples and an appetite for a new life. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">“You know, I made easy little dresses. That's what I did. I
didn't think I was actually designing them and I didn't think I was making a
fashion statement.”</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Over 40 years later, <b>The Dress </b>is still a valid fashion
statement. It was in the early 1970’s a part of genuine revolution, a
turbo-charger to the Feminist movement. The 20<sup>th</sup> Century woman had
been chiseling away at the constrictions of fashion with tiny but important
hammer thwocks for years … Greta Garbo in tuxedo. Kate Hepburn in slacks. Small
platoons of bra-burners finally fed up with girdling, garters and exaggerated silhouettes
largely dictated by men who displayed a nearly uniform lack of regard for
comfort or appreciation of the natural and distinct beauty of women.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm0eoUM3XvFTWUu2RPPPfVEYVM-PhjWfLap_TlbL9wCcMaxDxLJINq4NrhWhJXIy9zCVISioMHmZi51QH6ed2icjyEUSkiCWtdD-bXpD-wpe6LqDowm3Q5HuTXpF31z9BjSqU5mXWn4S8/s1600/dvf-wrap-dress+python.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm0eoUM3XvFTWUu2RPPPfVEYVM-PhjWfLap_TlbL9wCcMaxDxLJINq4NrhWhJXIy9zCVISioMHmZi51QH6ed2icjyEUSkiCWtdD-bXpD-wpe6LqDowm3Q5HuTXpF31z9BjSqU5mXWn4S8/s320/dvf-wrap-dress+python.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">This turbulent era saw American women entering the workforce
in greater numbers and with higher expectations than had been the case since WWII.
“Libbers” carrying on the great work of the Suffragette movement confronted
male power structures in the corporate world at distinct disadvantages, lacking
role models, networks, legal protection from workplace harassment or broad
access to child care facilities.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">And on top of all that, just what the hell were we to wear
to the office? The skirt/blouse combo just screamed secretarial pool, catalyzed
countless coffee runs and reinforced glass ceilings. Initial fumbling fashion
responses focused on aping masculine fashions. Big shoulders, straight lines,
bland palettes, cuffed trouser cuts, boxy shoes and perhaps the tiniest
concession to femininity, a bowed collar rather than a necktie. Nobody was
having any kind of fun with this look.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Then came <b>The Dress</b>. I am wearing mine just now. Let me
describe it. <b>The Dress</b> just flows. A stretchy silk / lycra blend, it goes on
like a shirt and wraps up like a dream. It falls to the knee and cinches high
on the waist. Gentle, gossamer fabric obscures imperfections of figure, a
discrete flash of thigh delights when seated. Plunging ruching at neckline beg for jewelry and feature the natural blessings of bust without giving the store away for free.
It just moves so freely, it feels like nothing and like nothing else at the
same time. I could not walk like a man in this garment with a gun to my head.
I, like Leisl, feel pretty. <i>O so pretty</i>.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">They flew off the racks and invaded an unsuspecting world. A
garment that celebrated female form and dressed it for comfort all at once.
Suitable for the office and aching for the evening transition to dinner and
dancefloor. I can’t say that Disco was ever my cup of tea (more of a Clash girl
if you must know), but that thankfully fleeting cultural moment would have been
entirely, unredeemably, god-awful-er without <b>The Dress</b>.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">And talk about quick pee-breaks! Gather it up, drop the
knickers, do the business and get right back to the revolution. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Patterns proliferated. Colors exploded. Lines and lengths, sleeve
and collar treatments were tweaked and freshened up season to season, but the
essence remains. I am Woman, hear me roar, in fashion too good to ignore.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Sparks flew and designers followed with a hall pass to
create looks that <i><b>vived</b> La Difference</i>,
that did not simply ape male ape shapes, that celebrated all that you and I
have within us and, on good days, on our surfaces too.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Found mine at Neiman Marcus Last Call yesterday. Had not
visited the NM Value / Clearance venue before and honestly expected to kiss a
few frogs and go home without anything slung shoulder-wise. Given the generally
ritzy price-point zip code of good old Needless Markup, I was fortifying myself
with reminders about just how expensive the holiday season has already been and
how uncertain tomorrow can be. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh52ulo_HQHTzII5o6tWqBkZg72NPDXm5SsE9NuHnBxtY4sGlJpUksxfhyaGo8jGDCs5gCc3I7IepRma9YQ3iJruWMGHXRFWyx9idmbTy990rXpTHKd8OG7GsuIL_HbeDrnwLgIwmwuV1o/s1600/Petra+DVF.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh52ulo_HQHTzII5o6tWqBkZg72NPDXm5SsE9NuHnBxtY4sGlJpUksxfhyaGo8jGDCs5gCc3I7IepRma9YQ3iJruWMGHXRFWyx9idmbTy990rXpTHKd8OG7GsuIL_HbeDrnwLgIwmwuV1o/s640/Petra+DVF.jpg" width="268" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Said defenses melted when I saw the DVF section and was
reminded that somewhere deep in my subconscious I had for decades lusted after
this dress (<i>as both spectator and participant as it happens</i>). There were a small handful
left on the rack, mostly skinny 2’s or curvy12’s, but one perfectly sexy six, riotous
in black, blue and white tropical garden motif.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Arms going like a veggie dicer peeling off my things and
into the embrace of what I knew instantly started a journey decades ago with
the sole mission of wrapping around me with the kindest, purest embrace I have
ever felt from a supposedly inanimate object. Out to the three-way for a twirl
and a look see. Chatted with a fellow shopper who practically teared up
remembering her first DVF and said the universe would rightly be upset with me
if I did not go home with <b>The Dress</b>.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">I could not, did not argue. Aided by a substantial year end
mark-down on a markdown my new beauty came home at about 35% of original retail
too, score for <b><span style="color: #4c1130;">Petra</span></b>. Be assured that she looks better than the snap indicates,
and even if not, the feeling compensates, insulates and celebrates everything I
love about my own <b><span style="color: #4c1130;">Voyages en Rose</span></b>.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">I do not suspect to ever be in the position to justify the
purchase of Icons mentioned earlier in this post. Let me take that back. I have
a perfectly functioning second kidney. With a tissue match I would probably
sign up for the Clutch and the Cartier. And with a little frugality the Louboutins
are actually in reach. I do after all have a birthday coming sometime in the
new year, yes?</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">If I get them, you will be amongst the first to know.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Happy New Year.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">xoxo - Petra</span></div>
Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-4690885113175959502015-12-13T16:09:00.000-05:002015-12-13T16:09:48.723-05:00On recent encounters<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b>Earlier
this week</b>, after Business Class filed in, the not-so-elite rest of us swarmed
the gate. The line zippers neatly into single file, and toes do not get crushed
for the most part. I said “after you” to a woman and took my place next in line
to get my boarding pass scanned. As we idled in the jetway she threw a
conversational volley over my shoulder to the woman behind me. I realized they
were colleagues and that I had slud (<i>that’s the Georgia past tense for slid
y’all</i>) betwixt them.</span><br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“ooops. You two are together, I’ll
get out of your way”</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I cleared a little space for 2<sup>nd</sup> woman, dressed
smartly for business to occupy, and join her companion. We made a small
triangle.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“No, it’s all right, we get about
enough of each other”, smilingly she said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Their conversation resumed. 1<sup>st</sup> woman to 2<sup>nd</sup>:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“See? Happy? Glad you took my
advice?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She gestured down, and I, being me, took note of the casual
loafers quietly padding the carpet beneath tights and skirts. Clearly, the
heeled pumps were in their upright and locked position in the carry on bags.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“Oh god yes, my feet were killing
me…”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I smiled.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“Oh, but now I am being judged”
says woman #2 looking my way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“No, no, no, I am not the judging
kind”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“Men judge, come on admit it”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“Sure, but I am not like most men”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3 quick swipes and a couple of clicks later, there in my
palm, a smart picture of <span style="color: #4c1130;"><b>Petra</b></span> perched atop her typical 4” closed toe stilettoes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“I am good for 6 hours, tops, in
these. And no way could I drag a bag through an airport in heels”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She gave me the quick head-to-toe, took my iPhone, panned
and zoomed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“Whoah! OK, I believe you, you are
not judging. But you are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">kind of</i>
judging aren’t you?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“Well, yeah. I still think you have
nice legs, even without the heels”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHufG318grCNOYKRVHuQWC7JebM-t86TE89ONsHruHFnlOBhPb32U7vTNq7_JcxIGDVsJlp1SObU9FJQElutyNmxgjzey2RstZzTgn9LUxqEwlC9QyAOyDvzW632BZR9Z2vOcT2mQiXdk/s1600/Petra+Anna+Bella+Alice+%2526+Olivia.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHufG318grCNOYKRVHuQWC7JebM-t86TE89ONsHruHFnlOBhPb32U7vTNq7_JcxIGDVsJlp1SObU9FJQElutyNmxgjzey2RstZzTgn9LUxqEwlC9QyAOyDvzW632BZR9Z2vOcT2mQiXdk/s400/Petra+Anna+Bella+Alice+%2526+Olivia.jpg" width="300" /></a>Smiles and second looks. She handed the phone to woman #1.
Same routine, evaluating the delta between the pretty picture and the present evidently
masculine me. She handed the phone back with a smile. The line resumed forward
motion towards the door for the desperate dash for overhead bins and the
dubious comforts of our various seat assignments. We 3 lost each other in the mosh
pit. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hoped vainly that they might chat about the encounter
during our flight home. Perhaps yes, perhaps no. We live in times where surely
there are more pressing or confusing or interesting things to talk about than a
chap who happily shares pictures of himself in a dress with complete strangers.
So I also hoped they got back to whatever they were focused on and did not take
much note of our encounter.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And that, dear Friends, is a little microcosm of my own
quandary vis writing, blogging and etc. What, pray tell, does one have to say
that hasn’t been said? What is remarkable enough to remark upon? Not sure of
the answer, but vainly I suppose I might take a swipe and a click or two at
chatting with you for a while. Quite certain you are not the judging kind
either. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #741b47;"><b>----------------------------------------------- </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #741b47;"><b> </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Firstly, I believe that I have never been more happily in
the grip of my need to express femininity. My work situation is home officed.
What I save in commute time gets spent, in part, on dressing. There is nothing
in the work day that necessitates a male presentation layer. I have the voice I
have. It sounds the same whether I am in PJ’s or LBD. I remember to not
click-clack around in heels without the mute key during con calls. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Being winter time, my surfaces are sleek. I so love the
feeling of smooth skin, I so love pampering my legs, and I still marvel at
their appearance even though I have known them pretty well for close to 54
years. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The wardrobe continues to grow. The growth is more refined,
more old-vine than it was in the mad compulsive early days. Good god but I went
through the shops like a combine through a wheat field then.
Kissed a lot of frogs figuring out size, silhouette, suitability, sexiness, the
whole shebang. The apprenticeship worked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have everything (<i>in terms of wardrobe</i>) that I need. When I
add a piece, it is correct. And if the piece is not drastically discounted,
patience, that supremely womanly virtue is exercised.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, opportunity to express is abundant. The wardrobe is
correct. The season is welcoming. Life is good. But it is all a bit solitary.
For reasons I will not go into in detail here, the girl doesn’t get out as
often as one might hope. But I do get to rub elbows here and there, time to
time, and that does the body and soul good, yes?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let’s take yesterday as a fine and still well remembered
example. My addled mind has at least that much recall. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #741b47;"><b>----------------------------------------------- </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had a rough outline of the day in place, and a part of it
came into sharp focus on coffee #3. Redhead. Gorgeous. <i>Red</i>. <i><b>Hair</b></i>. My primary
wig is getting a little tired and who am I fooling with bangs at this stage of
my life? So, dressed (khaki mid-calf side-zip, knot-waist, cheetah-print top
and a light cardi), made up and tottered off. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tragedy and triumph all in the same motion. The tragedy is
that my complexion just dies under red hair. Or auburn. Or strawberry blond.
The whole damn spectrum fails me and I must tell you that realization stings
more than just a little. Red hair has always snapped my head around for a
second look. I want a little of that magic. Alas, thwarted.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That said, all the colors under the sun are on display. The
store is a veritable arena, filled to capacity with unmoving alabaster faces beneath
the blond, brown and black, the monochrome and highlighted, the kinky, the
curly, the wavy and the straight. Take a <span style="color: #4c1130;"><b>Petra</b></span> tip, when trying on more than
one wig, take a selfie for reference purposes. It took about an hour to wade
through the candidates and adopt my new hair. The picture will save me a
thousand words and you a leap of imagination and a few minutes to boot.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcjKKtWcdM-gQaH_JrTkZuJzqvwiJ_86ylpSAxGbEtlBqic-BtQYRGLY3BrXSzuCbitkI9c20yd-hfKCROhAMw6WZbHAy3MDlDCv7ZFkh19ORlJCWZxWRmP7Fwby4BiMbj7GvnOXXMVcM/s1600/Petra+Hair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcjKKtWcdM-gQaH_JrTkZuJzqvwiJ_86ylpSAxGbEtlBqic-BtQYRGLY3BrXSzuCbitkI9c20yd-hfKCROhAMw6WZbHAy3MDlDCv7ZFkh19ORlJCWZxWRmP7Fwby4BiMbj7GvnOXXMVcM/s400/Petra+Hair.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love the new me. Still can’t shoot a selfie for beans, but
hopefully the shape of the smile confers my delight.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, with new tresses in place and a dire need to show them
off, uptown to <a href="http://anna-bella-fine-lingerie.myshopify.com/" target="_blank">Anna Bella</a> we go. I found this gorgeous lingerie shop last year while
I was looking for something else, and a parking spot opened up just as first I
pulled by. I had a good chat with Proprietor Pam that day about likes and
dislikes, but being in drab mode did not want to avail myself of a fitting.
Have had quite a few fittings since then. Honestly, no need for more knickers in my life,
but there is simply no place on the planet more completely, exclusively and
exhilaratingly feminine than a fitting room with a brace of bras on the hook.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am willing to indulge for that feeling. God help me I even
pay full retail. Retail is to me as daylight is to a Vampire, but here I make
an exception. The merchandise assortment is terrific. The lighting is great.
The fitting rooms are spacious. And the staff, god love ‘em all, are just a
delight to be with. Having a girl-friend help you on and off with pretty
things, wrapping yourself up in a little kimono to pad around the shop,
striding out into the day with a be-ribboned bag, festooned with tissue paper
and stuffed with pretty things that are perfect, it just does not get any
better.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The shop was just newly opened when I first stumbled in. I
suspect I was Pam’s first openly special-needs shopper. I know I am not the
last. But dammit Pam, if I am not your favorite, I just don’t know what to say.
Love you! As for the rest of today’s readers, if you are in Atlanta, go visit. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With a new pair of <a href="http://anna-bella-fine-lingerie.myshopify.com/collections/bras/products/ajoursoftunderwirebraalf-15-20" target="_blank">pretty sets</a> in hand, back home to feed
the mutts and turn up the style dial a notch or 2 for a trip to <a href="http://www.lipsatl.com/" target="_blank">Lips</a>. Now I
know that <span style="color: #4c1130;"><b>Drag Reviews</b></span> are not everyone’s cup o’ tea, and when done poorly, a little
offensive to me too. Staff and Performers at <span style="color: #4c1130;"><b>Lips</b></span> however are first rate. The
joint is sold right out, 3 shows a night Friday, Saturday and for Sunday brunch
and for good reasons. The food is good, the show is wild, the audience
participation is full throated. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s the <i>Bachelorette and Birthday</i> party set that <i><b>really</b></i>
light up the place though. The guests are 90-95% female and <i>sweet merciful</i> do
they <i><b>Dress</b></i>. Tall heels, short hems, smokey eyes, big hair and completely free
(more or less) from judgy guys, they have a totally liberated blast. I love the
place. Perhaps, as a result of my appearance, I am waved in minus the cover
charge, and warmly welcomed. With a little luck there is a free stool at the
corner of the bar while the early show buzzes out and the ecstatic hilarity of
the 9:00 seating gather and glow. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZludmihxfsUfVoHcvvUVwVUIDKc2rr_f2RFmai_jgAi3b003v3h50MkwR1kJ_NsFJOASwP5atlU2tlBqt4iVhJXWY3kIskM8wpjbe4JMPAL4xRg9WzNc3v6OFSZiZpkPYHq6Yc6R3VKU/s1600/Petra+in+Bebe+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZludmihxfsUfVoHcvvUVwVUIDKc2rr_f2RFmai_jgAi3b003v3h50MkwR1kJ_NsFJOASwP5atlU2tlBqt4iVhJXWY3kIskM8wpjbe4JMPAL4xRg9WzNc3v6OFSZiZpkPYHq6Yc6R3VKU/s640/Petra+in+Bebe+2.jpg" width="291" /></a>I dress to compete, and if victory is measured in how many
times one is asked “where did you get that dress?” or told “I hate you for your
legs”, well then, <i>I win</i>. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Complements are to me as plankton is to whale. I’ll
drink anything to get my share. I am that shallow. So there. But truly, the
half dozen chit-chats one engages in prior to the show starting are pure gold.
I feel welcomed. Unjudged. Natural and normal. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Periodically, a meaningful discussion will erupt. Discussion
about race, or economic fairness, about where we grew up and what we miss, the
places we have been or can’t wait to see. Last night I chatted wine with a
pretty Sommelier. We were both squealing about our mutual love of Gruner
Veltliners and Dornfelders and had a little hug about the sorry state of Chards
in this part of the world and why can’t we find a crisp Chablis anywhere?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On another recent visit, I volunteered to take a group snap
for the 4 women who were only getting 3 in the frame at once. I wound up in a
massively engaging and sincere private chat with the smart, confident and
abundantly beautiful daughter of famed Olympic medalist John Carlos. Mr. Carlos
was and remains a real hero to me on 2 axes. In youth, I ran track,
competitively. Olympians were gods. Of greater consequence was Mr. Carlos’, (along
with Tommie C. Smith) startling, epic and vital <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/world/2012/mar/30/black-power-salute-1968-olympics" target="_blank">contribution</a> to the American
Civil Rights movement.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t recall what trip-wire we hit to get to that point in
the conversation. My right arm went up reflexively in closed fist salute to my
new friends Father. The hair on my arms stood straight up too, tingling,
electric. The presence of greatness. She was floored that I knew the lore, felt
the meaning of what happened in Mexico City in 1968. We spoke for some time
about how far, in some ways, things have come in this part of the world for
people of color since. And how things, in many ways have stood still or bounced
backwards. She is clearly successful, and outwardly undaunted by the barriers,
prejudices and ignorant attitudes that make <i>her success</i> a tougher job than <i>my
success</i> is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am conscious always of the unearned benefits and
advantages in my life. I am healthy. I was born in a loving, literate and
supportive home. I grew up in a rich country. My mother tongue is English. My
complexion is pale. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am playing with house money, having won a ridiculously
longshot lottery. Anyone with the same lotto ticket and the feeling that they
have an axe to grind is just missing something fundamental.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have a bonus number on the lotto ticket, by the way. My
evident gender is male. For all my delight with the deep personal pool of
femininity I paddle about in here and there, my masculinity suits me well.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #741b47;"><b>----------------------------------------------- </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c1130;"><b>Mrs. Bellejambes</b></span> asked just the other day. “<i>Do you want to
have a sex change?</i>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The question was unexpected. I did not have a ready answer.
With a couple of days to stew on the ask, I have an answer I did not have
before.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would prefer a <i>world change</i> to a <i>sex change</i>. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We get a little closer, by the day sometimes don’t we?
Closer to a time when openness about our full spectrum is more possible.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can scarce believe that is was over 8 years ago that I started
ordering thoughts into words here on my <span style="color: #4c1130;"><i><b>Voyages en Rose</b></i></span>. While much has changed
for me, much has changed in the world too. 8 years ago I could not picture a
world where the sort of gender fluidity that is characteristic of my privileged life could exist. I feel today as though it is possible, and perhaps
inevitable. At least for people with a few other crap shoot advantages of time
and circumstance. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hope your time and circumstances are favorable, improving
and enlivening every damn fiber of being that you possess.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
xoxo - Petra</div>
Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-32555754528839951932013-10-13T09:35:00.000-04:002013-10-13T12:31:02.622-04:00Petra and Mrs. Bellejambes<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b>Google Analytics</b> tells me that as many as 5 or 6 visitors
pitch up daily here. Surely the vast majority are relentless bots, preying and
prying on lonely hearts with blandishments of links and love. For those of you with a heart, fondness for this dusty old book, and
hopes for seeing it tidied up a bit, welcome back.
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</span> shoulders her bag and does her thing from time to
time, just not so much here in the Digital Commons. When<span style="color: #741b47;"> Petra</span> does do her <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">groove thang</i>, it’s all still gorgeously
electric. Then, after a change, a wash up and maybe a good night’s sleep,
poised at keyboard, I am able to summon up only the chronicles of a chronically
dull teenage girl.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe Script","sans-serif";"> </span></span></div>
<span style="color: magenta;">
</span><br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe Script","sans-serif";"></span></span></div>
<span style="color: magenta;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Script","sans-serif";"><span style="color: magenta;">Dear
Diary. Did eyes a little smokier 2day. Went shopping. Had cocktail. Not sure I like
the smokier eyes. Still hate my arms. Aaaarghhhhh!!! Laters!!!! xoxo</span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is no lack of banality around us, and I am loath to
add to it. So there. This is not to say I do not love smoky eye looks, shopping
and cocktails. I most avowedly do. I simply cannot find the great and
illuminating themes within those happy moments that convince me I have
something of value to share.With you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
But what would we be if we did not try?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #a64d79;"> .......................................................................................</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Mrs. Bellejambes</b> and myself were readying to attend a
milestone birthday party a couple of months ago. A surprise party. We knew the
guest of honor was too smart altogether to be surprised, but her husband put so
much work into it, we felt obliged to play along. Theme of the party was all
mod / hippie 60’s, the carefree short hemlined era in which they had met. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had not put much thought to what I might wear, but Mrs. B.
was entirely swept up in the spirit and was planning and modeling her ensemble weeks
out in advance. Never shy of a shoe shop, she found a perfect pair of white
go-go boots with a danceable stacked heel. Up top a very contemporary abstract
print in wild hues of chartreuse and violet, hitting a couple of inches north
of her knees, very clingy and gorgeous on. I helped her get the head scarf
right and offered up a perfectly good pair of my own vintage, 100% nylon sheers
in pink. She rather hates tights, but condescended for the occasion, and had to
admit that quality makes a difference. I counseled on make up too, doing a
Sephora run for some outlandish lashes. Big lavish falsies, another first for
the dear thing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She was giddy and girlish with all the prep in a way she
typically is not about dressing. In fact, she reminded me of me. I was so happy
for her, envious of her, and oddly proud of myself for being able to help out a
little. Then, mere hours before the event she asked:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“What are you going to wear?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“O god, I haven’t a clue. Thinking
of running over to <a href="http://www.psychosistersshops.com/index.html" target="_blank">Pyscho Sisters</a> and renting something. I am sure they have a
good Carnaby Street look or two …”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“Why not go as <span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span>? You could totally
do 60’s …)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, darlings, I was not expecting <i><b>that</b></i>. I pretty quickly
put the idea on ice. Most people are awkward enough in these settings without
adjusting to the presence of exotic wildlife like <span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span>. Just too much to
explain to too many in too little time. The party would have been too much about me, and
god knows what the after-party chatter would have gone to.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“Maybe next time honey. Thanks for
asking though”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I <i>did</i> mentally run through a dozen outfits I could have
pulled together in a heartbeat that would have celebrated the era of peace,
love and legs as I drove across town to get a more conventional 60’s guy look
together. And we did look terrific, danced like idiots and had a blast. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She
meant it when she asked. And that means much to me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #a64d79;"> .......................................................................................</span></b> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some weeks later I was halfway across the country missing
out on <a href="http://sccatl.org/content/" target="_blank">Southern Comfort Conference</a>. Long damn week in nicely appointed cabins
in the woods with other leaders of my business unit. <i>Think-a-thon</i> by day,
<i>drink-a-thon</i> by night. Me grinding my teeth in idle moments knowing I was
missing out on National Prom Week in my hometown. Late home Friday night, tired
and happy to be again with wife and peerless dog, I woke up Saturday with a
burning need.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“Darling, tonight <span style="color: #741b47;">Southern Comfort</span>
wraps up. Would you mind if I dressed and took in a night out?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“There will be drinking. No way you
are driving”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“I can park overnight and cab it
home. Or you can come too. How about it?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“OK. Will <i><b>Cindy</b></i> be there? How about<i><b>
Gabrielle</b></i>?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“I honestly don’t know, but hey, you
are sure to see some people you know”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Snacks and drinks with some old friends met at the lounge.
Tall <i><b>Bobbie</b></i>, stately <i><b>Barbara</b></i>, and the whole floating, fragrant parade of girls
all strapless and cinched, big-haired, small purse party night looks, such fun.
Loads of chit chat about friends not seen this week, and where the hell have
you been air kisses and hugs. <b>Mrs. Bellejambes</b> is to be admired really. It can’t
be easy on her, she did not seek out this wild company. Bless her she
shared a table with us all and give my knee a nice tap time to time. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She seems to be more willing to indulge <span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span>, or at least
has gotten past all the reflexive and entirely understandable Waco Tango
Foxtrot impulses that must possess a woman married to man with some of the differences
that I, and perhaps you, have.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In point of fact, perhaps <span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span> has some catching up to do
in this regard. <span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span> needs a little more work on indulging <b>Mrs. B</b>. You see, I
have always been more concerned with how my wife copes with, reacts to and
lives with Petra, “the other woman”. There is another level I have been oddly
blind to: </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How does <span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span> cope with, react to and live with <b>Mrs.
Bellejambes</b>?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I must self-assess a failing grade. I tend to dress for
times when the house is empty. I adopted this behavior out of a desire to spare
my gentle wife moments of confusion and despair. Perhaps I even found a little
nobility in it all …. “see, I am willing to sacrifice, and keep <span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span> more or less out
of site, that’s how much you mean to me …”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Seen from the other end of the telescope of course there is
a whole ‘nother picture. Selfishness, lack of openness, furtiveness. Perhaps
from that perspective, even dishonesty.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Mrs. B</b> has shown the resiliency and adaptability that woman,
in my experience, typically bring in better measure to life than the lads do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I claim to be a better person as a result of having
tapped into my famous feminine side, where, precisely, did I mislay my own
resiliency and adaptability? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I still fumble trying to find things in my purse pockets you
know. Keys to the car, and maybe keys to the future, Going to find a flat
surface, empty the bag and have a little sort through things.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Might need to bide some time with a cheezie diary entry here
in meantime….</div>
Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-3099767590827581322012-12-31T15:02:00.004-05:002013-01-01T10:27:40.028-05:00Complements of the Season. The other kind.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;">Having disposed</span></b>, <i>darlings</i>, of the <b>Compliments</b> <a href="http://voyagesenrose.blogspot.com/2012/12/compliments-of-season-or-was-it.html">yesterday</a>,
it is high damn time I turned to the <i><b>Complements</b></i>. Return with me to the
definition, provided by my go-to, slightly-better-than-sketchy online resource,
<b>Dictionary.com</b>:<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">com·ple·ment </span><span class="prondelim"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">[</span></span><span class="boldface"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">kom</span></span><span class="pron"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">-pl</span></span><span class="ital-inline"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">uh</span></span><span class="pron"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">-m</span></span><span class="ital-inline"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">uh</span></span><span class="pron"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"> nt; </span></span><span class="boldface"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">kom</span></span><span class="pron"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">-pl</span></span><span class="ital-inline"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">uh</span></span><span class="pron"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">-ment</span></span><span class="prondelim"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">]</span></span><span class="showspellpr"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></span><span class="pg"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">noun </span></span><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">1.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span>something <span style="color: #333333;">that</span> <span style="color: #333333;">completes</span> or makes perfect: <span class="ital-inline">A good wine is a complement to a good meal. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">2.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span>the quantity or amount <span style="color: #333333;">that</span> <span style="color: #333333;">completes</span> anything: <span class="ital-inline">We now
have a full complement of packers. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">3.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span>either of two parts or things needed to <span style="color: #333333;">complete</span>
<span style="color: #333333;">the</span> <span style="color: #333333;">whole;</span>
counterpart. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Today then, I am taking my focus off of the nice things said
here and there (<i>i.e. compliments</i>) and turning scattered thoughts to the
things that completed 2012 for me, complementary things.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Complete <i>is</i> a relative thing, a vanishing horizon. I stretch
for it always, hoping to not snare it fully. <b style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</b> much prefers restless to
rested, hungry to full, tantalized to satisfied. In review, 2012 did deal up a good measure of complementary stuff, moments,
habits, and things that did for moments or do, in the <b>Dr. Evil</b> sense, <i>complete
me</i>.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">***************** </span></div>
</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Writing</b> remains a source of delight for me, and a genuine
venue for discovery and expression. I sometimes feel as though I am not
creating as spontaneously or creatively as I did when this blog was a toddler
back in the day. Many, really most of my gender frontiers and boundaries have been pushed out
to their natural and full extent. There are fewer shockingly new things or
novel ideas available to me. Less to ponder and fewer words to set to print. This
resulted in an all time low of 10 posts for the 2012. </div>
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<br /></div>
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It seems that I am following a common pattern here. Those of
us who newly embrace our gender plurality (or whatever variance of special we
possess), <i>and</i> have a penchant for blathering on about things in general tend to strip the
ground clear down to stubble pretty quickly. Year 3 or 4 in the life of the T-Blogger is
typically pretty moribund. Those of you who find a way to post regularly have
my admiration and a tiny measure of low grade petty jealousy. <a href="http://youcancallmemeg.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Meg</a> and <a href="http://www.femulate.org/" target="_blank">Stana</a>, <a href="http://yatgb.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Lynn</a> and
<a href="http://www.janieblack.com/janies-transgender-blog/" target="_blank">Janie</a>, a tip of the pillbox cap to you.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5MmiW_LkgDVwbidQKbWUup44PsuYarG4c7k2Ee9feUJt1tbR0b15HzpSovPKXda2TU20wuuxVNrMhGJ_W3afGipaaUNeXk2CXzV6w3c5UKK_hXKW1Dji0U_qk42D4zlSRblMnVqlmFps/s1600/Gender+Analyzer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="141" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5MmiW_LkgDVwbidQKbWUup44PsuYarG4c7k2Ee9feUJt1tbR0b15HzpSovPKXda2TU20wuuxVNrMhGJ_W3afGipaaUNeXk2CXzV6w3c5UKK_hXKW1Dji0U_qk42D4zlSRblMnVqlmFps/s320/Gender+Analyzer.jpg" width="320" /></a>I do believe though that the written word here on <b style="color: #a64d79;">Voyages en
Rose</b> for the year <i>is</i> good and complete. Longer form essays taken at a walk with
a slower pulse, more mature and settled, less adolescent and breathless. I have
written for honesty, and for plain expression as much as I am capable of. In
doing so, I am writing in a more convincingly female voice than ever before.
<a href="http://genderanalyzer.com/" target="_blank">Gender Analyzer</a> believes with <b>81%</b> certainty that the <b>2012</b> edition of these
<b style="color: #a64d79;">Voyages</b> is written by a woman while the <b>2010</b> version of me was a relative butch
at <b>71%</b>. Yesterday’s post came in at <b>84%</b>. <i>This</i> pleases me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Writing</b>, completes me.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">***************** </span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I write elsewhere too of course. <b>2012</b> was a great year for
me at <a href="http://guilty-pleasures.org/">Guilty Pleasures</a>. I am the
principal editorialist there, responsible for <a href="http://guilty-pleasures.org/author/petra">product reviews</a> and the overall
style and tone of our surprisingly busy and influential little <b style="color: #a64d79;">Lingerie blog</b>. I
penned about 20 essays there, mostly reviews of products sent my way by vendors
looking for a little publicity. I have become, really quite unexpectedly, a bit
of an authority on knickers. I have guest posted on bigger, more influential
<a href="http://www.thelingerieaddict.com/2012/07/guest-post-the-shape-debate-does-shapewear-contribute-to-body-snark.html" target="_blank">blogs</a>, and been cross linked, hash tagged, re-tweeted and otherwise digitally cast to
the four winds. I am a girl that gets around. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am assumed to be female by those vendors who seek out my
voice and the attention of <b style="color: #a64d79;">Guilty Pleasures</b> readers. I do not challenge anyone on the issue.
We communicate (for the most part) via email, and it is a correspondence of
courtship and intimacy between women. I have found the PR agents, marketing
execs and brand leaders who I work with to be super kind, fun and generous
women. It is a source of joy for me to share a proposed creative theme,
suggestions for product assortments and early drafts with my clients. I get
large parcels with handwritten notes of gratitude, smiley faces and fingers
crossed in hope that all the pretty things inside fit and feel good. It is
business, yes, but it is also girl talk about some of the most completely
feminine stuff on the planet, lingerie. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Girl-talk</b>, my dears, <i>very much</i> completes me.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">***************** </span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzMrQE2aS0C9QQgF-uh82tZaMLbXP3V937St7HsL5jUe06qzFyQOFuwG4VfId5G-QmuMf8myNNeIss_Z5bLSCczMJ2FF-EiVJitmwD1eqrjaCD-vEX4HMignZqKqEUMaSuPY6KK2ePhfY/s1600/Petra+Knickers+Year+End+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzMrQE2aS0C9QQgF-uh82tZaMLbXP3V937St7HsL5jUe06qzFyQOFuwG4VfId5G-QmuMf8myNNeIss_Z5bLSCczMJ2FF-EiVJitmwD1eqrjaCD-vEX4HMignZqKqEUMaSuPY6KK2ePhfY/s320/Petra+Knickers+Year+End+1.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Getting to know what my tastes run to, what suits me, the
criteria that go into evaluating a garment for goodness, greatness or notness
has been a real labor of love. It all started by modestly here on <b style="color: #a64d79;">Voyages en
Rose</b> some years ago with weekly hosiery themed dalliances. Long time readers will recall <a href="http://voyagesenrose.blogspot.com/search/label/Petra%27s%20Pantyhose%20Parade">Petra’s
Pantyhose Parade</a>. I fumbled there in the dark to develop a critical eye, an
engaging voice and a useful measure of expertise in the hosiery arena. I have since
developed what I must immodestly call connoisseurship in a bigger broader field.
It has not come easily. It has come in sustained frothy rivers of silk and satin, clasps and cusps. Some of which is pictured above as I take on the annual <b>Re-org of the Drawers Project</b> (yes, we all have our silly year end rituals). </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Knowing knickers as I do makes a very real difference in my
life. Out <b style="color: #a64d79;"><i>en Femme</i></b> earlier this week, I was able to find a perfect bra / panty
set from legendary French brand, <a href="http://www.chantelle.com/us_en/" target="_blank">Chantelle</a> within minutes of walking into the
roughly 4,000 sq ft. of retail space set aside for intimates in <b style="color: #a64d79;">Bloomingdale's</b>,
needle in a haystack stuff m’dears – go ahead ask your wife if you don’t
believe me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitIy1oex8VMNvPKUShf6LVgQmQ99zKZtZY5v0RqK4yvQay86ba7vuEZLKYL7kVnM1Jwtc2ZHd0qGMlaPemzCATEgbFF1B2TsdLg_0aoQsZkK9SnmzCIq1YmnXemrSeoV2sXI7OXALOQ_0/s1600/Chantelle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitIy1oex8VMNvPKUShf6LVgQmQ99zKZtZY5v0RqK4yvQay86ba7vuEZLKYL7kVnM1Jwtc2ZHd0qGMlaPemzCATEgbFF1B2TsdLg_0aoQsZkK9SnmzCIq1YmnXemrSeoV2sXI7OXALOQ_0/s400/Chantelle.jpg" width="258" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In such settings, I am very much the predator, the
accomplished huntress. There were a half dozen brands I knew would be of no
interest to me. There were certain boutiques not yet marked down. There were chaotic
clearance bins and racks here and there. I ran the calculus, excluded what
would not work from view, and isolated something desirable in mere minutes,
Terminator like efficiency I thought. I had not worn <b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Chantelle</span></b>, before, but
knew from reputation that their ranges run a little small in the bra band. I
did go up size, walked my pretty 70% off retail handful to the service counter and asked the woman there
if I had made the right decision in up-sizing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“Yes, <b>Chantelle</b> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">does</i> run a little snug, the 36 should be
perfect for you. Please try it on to be sure, won’t you?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“Thanks, but not tonight. Too many
buttons, too little time you know. I’ll take my chances my dear”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“Just keep the tags on. I’ll staple
my card to the receipt, please look me up if things are not perfect."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Things <i>are</i> perfect. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<b>Perfect Lingerie</b> completes me.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">***************** </span></div>
<br />
The same could be said for all aspects of wardrobe. I stopped making fashion mistakes this year. I know which things I own that I will never wear, and have them boxed up for delivery to shelters and services that can use them. I can resist temptation when the item is not ideal. There are no more repeats. Honestly, there are no gaping holes in my wardrobe, and no overarching urges to add. I spy the odd thing here and there, but am not a slave to impulses any more.<br />
<br />
Having a <b>great wardrobe</b>, a <i>complete wardrobe</i>, completes me.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">***************** </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Having a friend to share this with, the ups and downs, the good and bad complements my life too. My partner and the founder of <a href="http://guilty-pleasures.org/">Guilty Pleasures</a>, <b>Ally</b> is a woman. She lives
in Europe, and has escaped from a corporate setting to try her hand at a number of entrepreneurial
ventures online and otherwise. She communicates with me in one of her many second languages, English with great precision and craft. I cannot remember quite how we connected, but
Ally offered me a <a href="http://guilty-pleasures.org/product-review-%E2%80%93-scrunchy-sheer-tights" target="_blank">guest post</a> spot way back in <b>2010</b>. This lead to a
correspondence and in time, a generous and more lasting partnership in the
enterprise, my name on the masthead if you will, administrative access to the
back end of the WordPress machinery, contact with prospective vendors and etc.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We share notes back and forth about our work, yes, but have
learned slowly over time to be friends with one another, to share more
generously of our thoughts, and our advice for each other. We speak to each
other as sisters. She is my best Girl <i>friend</i>. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Having a <b>Girl friend</b>, <u><i>being</i></u> a <b>Girl friend</b>, dear friends,
completes me, <i><b>really</b></i> <b>completes me</b>.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">***************** </span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have insights and feelings of connectedness with the 51%
of the world that the other 49% cannot hope to have. Perhaps you too, <i>Dear Reader</i>, being
who you are, understand that. Having a girl friend, and <i>being</i> a girl friend, well
it all comes with fierce responsibilities, loyalties, sensitivities. These
things endow the relationship with a wonderful warm patina, a soft finish
and feeling absent from our masculine relationships.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I cannot have that relationship with <b>Mrs. Bellejambes</b>. My
wife is a marvel of adaptability, she must be, yes? Seventeen years later and
us still an item, bless her warm, stout heart. But she signed on for a husband,
a friend, a lover, for many things. She did not sign on for a girl friend. I
could not ask that of her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Having a wife who does not understand all of this (any more
than I do I suppose) but tries to not stand in the way of the things that make
me happy <b>completes me</b>. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Mrs. Bellejambes</b> complements my life like nothing else in
the world.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">***************** </span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Having readers to here at <b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Voyages en Rose</span></b>, knowing that
someone will show up here, take the time to read, and even now and then leave a
word or two, well <i>that</i> <b>completes me</b> too.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you for helping complement a great year.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hope your 2013 is rich with complementary moments.</div>
Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-4684312406641592972012-12-30T15:19:00.003-05:002012-12-30T15:36:56.724-05:00Compliments of the Season. Or was it Complements?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><b><span style="font-size: small;">If</span></b> I had to find metaphorical book ends for 2012, and you
know darlings that I do, I think I would have to go with <i>compliments</i>. With <i>complements</i> running a
close second. Or the other way ‘round, never perfectly sure.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Damn those homonyms. Wordy, windy girl like myself honestly
ought to have had this straightened up in Junior High. Alas. Let us refer to
the often reliable Dictionary.com for guidance:</div>
<h2 style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">com·pli·ment </span><span class="prondelim"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">[</span></span><span class="boldface"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">kom</span></span><span class="pron"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">-pl</span></span><span class="ital-inline"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">uh</span></span><span class="pron"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">-m</span></span><span class="ital-inline"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">uh</span></span><span class="pron"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"> nt; </span></span><span class="boldface"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">kom</span></span><span class="pron"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">-pl</span></span><span class="ital-inline"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">uh</span></span><span class="pron"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">-ment</span></span><span class="prondelim"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">] </span></span><span class="pg"><span style="font-size: 8pt;">noun</span></span><span class="pg"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></h2>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 8pt;"><span id="hotword"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">an </span></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">expression <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">of</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">praise,</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">commendation,</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">or</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">admiration:</span> </span></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="ital-inline"><span id="hotword"><span id="hotword" name="hotword">A</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">sincere</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">compliment</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">boosts</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">one's</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">morale.</span> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span id="hotword"><span id="hotword" name="hotword">2.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span>a <span id="hotword" name="hotword">formal</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">act</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">or</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">expression</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">of</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">civility,</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">respect,</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">or</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">regard:</span> </span><span class="ital-inline"><span id="hotword"><span id="hotword" name="hotword">The</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">mayor</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">paid</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">him</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">the</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">compliment</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">of</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">escorting</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">him.</span> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span id="hotword"><span id="hotword" name="hotword">3.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><span class="secondary-bf">compliments, </span></span><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span id="hotword" name="hotword"><span id="hotword">a</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">courteous</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">greeting;</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">good</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">wishes;</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">regards:</span> </span><span class="ital-inline"><span id="hotword"><span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">He</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">sends</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">you</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">his</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">compliments.</span> </span></span></span></span></div>
<h2 style="color: black;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">com·ple·ment </span><span class="prondelim"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">[</span></span><span class="boldface"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">kom</span></span><span class="pron"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">-pl</span></span><span class="ital-inline"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">uh</span></span><span class="pron"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">-m</span></span><span class="ital-inline"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">uh</span></span><span class="pron"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"> nt; </span></span><span class="boldface"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">kom</span></span><span class="pron"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">-pl</span></span><span class="ital-inline"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">uh</span></span><span class="pron"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">-ment</span></span><span class="prondelim"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">]</span></span><span class="showspellpr"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></span><span class="pg"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">noun</span> </span><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></h2>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span id="hotword"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span id="hotword" name="hotword">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">something <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">that</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">completes</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">or</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">makes</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">perfect:</span> </span></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="ital-inline"><span id="hotword"><span id="hotword" name="hotword">A</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">good</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">wine</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">is</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">a</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">complement</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">to</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">a</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">good</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">meal.</span> </span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span id="hotword"><span id="hotword" name="hotword">2.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span>the <span id="hotword" name="hotword">quantity</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">or</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">amount</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">that</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">completes</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">anything:</span> </span><span class="ital-inline"><span id="hotword"><span id="hotword" name="hotword">We</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">now</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">have</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">a</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">full</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">complement</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">of</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">packers.</span> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span id="hotword"><span id="hotword" name="hotword">3.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span>either <span id="hotword" name="hotword">of</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">two</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">parts</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">or</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">things</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">needed</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">to</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">complete</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">the</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="cursor: default;">whole;</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">counterpart.</span> </span>.</span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There. Better. Compliments it is then. I have a few from
2012 I want to share with you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I <i>am</i> a vain thing. Vanity has a close cousin by the name of
Insecurity. You may have met them. They are near neighbors beneath my wig cap, a mere synapse apart on
some semi cerebral cul-de-sac. They are separated only by a narrow picket fence,
perfect for a little chit-chat, a little gossip, and O, how Insecurity just lights up when Vanity shares a juicy fresh neurotransmitter of news with her. Butterflies
waft and play on gentle endorphin updrafts. All the world seems lovely. Those
moments stay long with me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">**************** </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First notable compliment of the year came in January, one
happy Saturday night as I took a solo jaunt out to <a href="http://www.thenewlebuzz.com/">LeBuzz</a>. This spacious nightclub is the last
openly gay fortress still standing in the outer boroughs of Metro Atlanta. Once
you get OTP (Outside The Perimeter) here, culture and sensibilities turn from
Blue to Red right smartly. Happily, LeBuzz remains solvent, and the rainbow
pennant continues to flutter from the battlements.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am not much of a night-clubber you might know, in part
because it all starts so damn late and I stop pretty early. Beyond that, the
noise and close proximity to youngsters and their curious Red Bull infused cocktails,
well, not my tribe you know? Moreover, the featured entertainment was a Drag
Review. Not a perfect night out for <b style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</b>. For the most part the lip syncing
lounge lizards of the RuPaul generation are just not my cup of tea. Caricatures
of femininity, exaggerations of form, and to me dismissive of woman in general.
There is a cattiness in the art that I cannot love.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nonetheless, one has to get out of the house time to time, and
who knows where you can pick up a makeup tip, right? I took a perch on a tall
stool with a good view of the room which left the room with a good view of me.
Very bodycon skirt from BCBG, very clingy glittery knit top, pale lilac sheers
and tall purple pumps. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0_LmXiZ8NDdGBL3de5sC9A0Zry3ZWKEo47TWcQhPdenh9VOzbK90ItNVF_7LR-6u05Ew1NhG71bvRMnsHfIj10M8oD3_DEvmpz5cLQVgxMVnkPpZ2l-FujD3NgzNPrnkrwjVC3TK_cbg/s1600/Petra.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0_LmXiZ8NDdGBL3de5sC9A0Zry3ZWKEo47TWcQhPdenh9VOzbK90ItNVF_7LR-6u05Ew1NhG71bvRMnsHfIj10M8oD3_DEvmpz5cLQVgxMVnkPpZ2l-FujD3NgzNPrnkrwjVC3TK_cbg/s400/Petra.jpg" width="251" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mostly a youngish Lesbian crowd, Asian, African and European
faces, a smattering of gay chaps and a handful of clearly settled, hetero, middle-aged
couples taking tables up front for the performances, really about as diverse a
crowd as you could hope to see.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not much in the way of the <b style="color: #a64d79;">gender curious</b> though. Beyond the
performers, I was the only special girl in the room. Waiting for the review to
begin I had a little chit chat with next stool neighbors on my right, she and he, they
friends, both only recently either fully aware and out, and both a little giddy in
their discoveries. While we spoke of nothing of real consequence, my eye was repeatedly
drawn back over my other shoulder to the maddeningly beautiful tall boots on the
woman perched to my left.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A couple of drinks and so-so drag performers later, I
introduced myself to Boot Girl, simply had to tell her I loved her taste. Early
40’s I thought, there with her younger girlfriend, gorgeous dark complexion and
steady eyes, she barely flickered while I said hello and told her of my love
for her boots.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“I wondered if I was going to just
sit here all night with that ass so close to me and you not saying a damn word …”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was at a little of a loss for words just then. I was
working on something along the lines of “come again dear, not quite sure I
heard you correctly just there …”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“I have been sitting here wanting
you for about an hour now. Damn do you look good.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh. Well, <i>that’s</i> better, a little unsettling still. I stammeringly
expressed my blushing gratitude, surprise at the flattery and the news that I
was in a committed married relationship with very exclusive
privileges as far as asses and other bits go. I must have sounded a bit like Hugh Grant. She slowed down a little and shared
a few slightly more genteel words of admiration, at which point I slowly
realized that her girlfriend was staring daggers at me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, my dear word, I had elicited a reaction of jealousy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I tried to steer the conversation quickly back to boots. It
worked for a while, long enough an interval that I could exit the conversation
on a civil note and not get stuck in the middle of a domestic quarrel and have
my much sought after ass roundly beaten. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was near time for me to go in any event. I finished my
drink, slid my jacket on, hoisted bag on shoulder and wished her goodnight
while the girlfriend stared off into space. Here, verbatim, is what my new
admirer said:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“You are no sissy, no punk, no
bitch. You are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">all</i> woman.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That, darlings, made me feel like a million dollars. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">**************** </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Flash forward to this weekend, the other end of the years
bookend. A little post-Christmas shopping snoop was called for Friday. I dressed, worked hard on the makeup, and felt very beautiful.
I went to a very upmarket and busy mall. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nice girls in Nordstrom helped out,
but I did not see anything pretty and perfect enough. Long walk to the Wolford
boutique (Sale Time!!!) where the most gorgeous, petite woman and I chatted. I
was tempted by a few of the tops and skirts, but I think having indulged in one
Wolford dress this year (beautiful but honestly, too too pricey for the
amount of wear I give them), and I ended up picking up a pair of the <a href="http://www.wolfordshop.de/produkt/boutique/dolly-dots-tights/18900?cid=PS.WF.2012.10" target="_blank">dot tights</a>. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I walked back out into the mall, stepped on the up escalator
before storming Barneys. I heard a voice.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Miss …</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was a man’s voice behind me, and I did not connect it
with me. I must have appeared aloof or rude for a moment.<br />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Miss, excuse me Miss..."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
O, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Miss</i>… hallo, that
would be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i> tonight. I have been <i>Ma’am’d
</i>before, not <i>Missed </i>so that threw me off too. The voice was soft, a little high of
register, long vowels, the International Gay Fashionista Retail Worker voice.<br />
<br />
"Miss ... I just wanted to say that your look is just so perfect, <i>sooooo</i>
put together."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The look <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">was</i> good.
My latest fashion transfusion from Ann Taylor, the Zebra skirt suit is a real
impact outfit, pictured at right later that evening, oddly enough in an Ann
Taylor fitting room.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh6GycZcOnZp4_EbfVhnPRqBaCrzPExYg_R8m0n_TpfomOLupWfj6L-p5TtijYUv80YYIpfvXMbLvVEdmhvWG0Rmjs2G2gdMfJpUX5CEQasb5hJNXZHXnz5uxzDZYR9RHTacv6nXDQ0Mk/s1600/Petra+Zebra+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh6GycZcOnZp4_EbfVhnPRqBaCrzPExYg_R8m0n_TpfomOLupWfj6L-p5TtijYUv80YYIpfvXMbLvVEdmhvWG0Rmjs2G2gdMfJpUX5CEQasb5hJNXZHXnz5uxzDZYR9RHTacv6nXDQ0Mk/s640/Petra+Zebra+1.jpg" width="224" /></a>
Getting a complement from a very stylish young (much younger) man is a great
feeling. Getting a complement from a very stylish young Gay man is even bigger
stuff. No ulterior motives and better developed aesthetic senses, right?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was genuinely touched. I did look good, the outfit was
super smart. I said thanks and told him that women always harbor a doubt, until
some kind person helps pull us up just that little bit. It was a sweet moment.
He helped my last little doubts about my suitability for the world vanish.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We chatted for a moment at the top of the escalator. He had
figured out by now that this Miss was somewhat amiss. He couldn’t
have, wouldn't have known before, seeing me mostly from behind, and a little in profile. He smiled,
happy it seems to me to have been beguiled. We stood a moment longer, the
straight man in a skirt, the gay man in flannel trousers, smiled and parted.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Again, I felt like a million dollars.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">**************** </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hope the woman I met that same morning on the way to the
office at Starbucks felt the same way. We approached the door at the same time,
I held the door open, the usual gestures, the after you and etc. for the
gorgeous tall woman. A complete stunner. 5’10 or 11” and 4 inches of heel.
Perfectly sleek jeans, suede tasseled jacket, tight cornrows framing a regal
face.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She said go ahead to me as she pondered her choices. I put my simple order in and the
barista then asked her how she was today. She said she was good, and placed her
order.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had my coffee in hand by then, turned to her and said,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“You are better than good. You are
great. You really look wonderful.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She was a little off balance, and I was on my way to the
door, about to vanish. I hope when she got her Frappuccino and her balance
back, that she felt like a million dollars.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is a good feeling. One I wish you an abundance of in the
New Year.<span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></div>
Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-82174962254951631182012-11-18T09:47:00.000-05:002012-11-18T10:47:39.420-05:00Seeing as you asked Lynn m'dear ...<br />
I have a great fondness for <b style="color: #a64d79;">Lynn Jones</b>, the proprietress of Yet Another T-Girl Blog. <a href="http://yatgb.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">YATGB</a> is the supremely well considered and seven years sustained weekly diary of a lovely life. If you do not already know her, well I <i>just don't know</i> <b>you </b>as well as I thought. Go read, then bounce back here would you?<br />
<br />
<b style="color: #a64d79;">Lynn</b> has a <a href="http://yatgb.blogspot.com/2012/11/im-on-mission-in-destination-unknown.html" target="_blank">questionnaire</a> on her site. She asked for responses that she might pull together into a big colorful <a href="http://ourdifferentjourney.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">tapestry</a> that might help all of us understand all of us just a little better. I cannot remember that last time I said no a pretty English woman, and I confess to a sad propensity to prattle on about myself. So you just know how my morning went today.<br />
<br />
I share the Q&A with you here below the line.<br />
<br />
For readers who do a little blogging themselves on related matters, I encourage you to do the same exercise. Good therapy, happy memories and provocations about the future too. Get to work!<br />
<br />
Lynn, darling, you are a marvel. Drop me a line would you so we can figure out what to do with all of this.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: #a64d79; text-align: center;">
-------------------------------------------------------------------</div>
<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>AWARENESS: When did you first feel trans? How did it
make you feel? Did you embrace or run from it?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before the age of reason. Before the onset of puberty for
certain. Long before I could knit the concepts of gender, femininity and
sexuality together, and much longer before I could tease them apart. I would
pick age 8. The Sears catalog, all the pages of long-line girdles and thigh-high stockings seemed to be a gateway drug for the imagination. Did it feel
trans? It felt <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">transgressive</i>. I knew
that I was curious about things that were not staples of polite conversation. I
embraced it all, but stuffed it pretty deep in my pocket.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>ADOLESCENT COPING: How did you cope with growing up?
What about puberty? How was school, or teenage life?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Adolescence is a
gale force multivariate storm in any event. In the middle of that funnel cloud
of hormones and insecurities, my curiosities did not stand out then as defining
elements of my life. Measured against people who were bullied by peers, ignored
by teachers, left alone by parents, my adolescence was trauma free and really
quite a doddle. Smart enough in class, tough enough outdoors, cool enough to hang
out with the cool kids, youth was easy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">I <i>was</i> a champion
wanker. There. I said it. It was hereabouts that </span>concepts of gender,
femininity and sexuality together got co-mingled.<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>EARLY LIFE/ UNIVERSITY / COLLEGE: Having grown up -
at least physically, how was life? Did you fit in or fall out? Did you stay
home, work away or go to University, college or work? </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All of the above. College disappointed me in part because of
misshapen expectations. All the dull minded louts I was in high school with
wound up at Uni. I looked around for the Elysian lounges of like-minded aesthetes
arguing <i>JP Sartre</i> and <i>JD Salinger</i> over brandy and bongs, shagging each other
senseless in the flickering minutes before we were plunged into a long nuclear darkness.
Couldn’t quite find that society but did make some lovely friends. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There, in the intimate company of women, I felt as though
the universe was endowing me with an extravagant gift. I could never get
enough. It was, early 80’s darlings, a kinkier time. Frankfurter was in
fishnets. David Sylvain wore eye makeup. Why not me? With a little bravado and
a gentle hint here and there, one might find oneself in tights getting a
makeover from the girlfriend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was furtive under-dressing here and there, and the odd
visit to a dressing service.
It was all very much on the surface and <i>fetishy</i>. Gender and femininity went into
the service of sexuality, rather concretely by this point. I felt, still, as
though I was in the grip of a phase and that naturally, these things would go
away, quietly, when bidden.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>CAREER: What you do and how you think it has shaped
you (for better or worse). Is there something you long to do?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Career(s) have shaped so much. I am on my 6<sup>th</sup> now
I think. Likely to have a couple left. Changing things radically the moment I get
comfy with what I am doing is the general recipe. A desire to get out to and
beyond my comfort frontiers is key to career happiness, and a key element of my
gender discoveries. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Something I long to do? Bubble bath and fourteen dresses tossed
on the bed before finding the right one. Then lunch. Get bombed with Sylvia
Path or Dorothy Parker, go shopping with Audrey or Jackie and keep a diary. Nap.
Rinse and repeat.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All that being quite unlikely, I suppose writing a line or
two now and then, playing my piano and travel will do. I would not mind getting
to understand food better. I so like to eat, I suspect that cooking would
please me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>RELATIONSHIPS: Single, married, long term
relationship, divorced, happy to be single? How is family life?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Seventeen enormously privileged years married. No kids. Issues
of gender do not dominate things here, they seem to be a sub-plot in our lives.
<b>Mrs. B</b> cheerfully, but insistently said a funny thing not long after I shared
my <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Petra-ness</b></i> with her:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“you realize of course that I have no lesbian tendencies …
right?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Petra</b></i> is therefore held at arm’s length. We all three of us
(or 2 ½ ??) are patient souls though. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>COMING OUT: Have you? Would you? If so, how was it?
If not, why not?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Outside of <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Mrs. B</b></i>, there are only of couple of people who
know both halves of me. At least, that I know of. I suppose that being relatively
out there, there is always the risk of being “outed”, and I maintain a
dignified “I don’t care” attitude on the matter. Thing is though, I do care. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have managed over the years to tease apart the threads of
gender, femininity and sexuality, weave them back together evenly, and normalize the joy I find in the discovery
of the whole me. Exposing these facets of myself is so wildly life giving, so
educational, so wonderful, and as great a gift I have found in life outside of
the love that a few remarkable people shower on me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But these discoveries, and the process of exposing them is a
private, guarded thing. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My non-<i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Petra</b></i> life is good and full, and easy for the world
around me to digest and respond to. A more broadly known <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Petra</b></i> would add layers
of complexity that I do not have the appetite to manage. I will not be broadly “out", by my own hand in any case.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>THE WAY FORWARD: What’s next for you? What are your
hopes - trans, or otherwise?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No real plans. I have a generalized hope that myself and
<i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Mrs. B</b></i> can find a place where <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Petra</b></i> is a little less vexatious a presence. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>WORDS OF WISDOM: Anything you’d like to share to a
younger you or to other trans people?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Be honest</b>. Trust
the people that love you. Breaking that trust is a far greater foul than any
propensity you have for self-discovery. If you are in a relationship that means
something to you, find a way to share your feelings.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Know that you are not
alone</b>. You already know somebody who feels the same way as you. There is
another boy in your class, or another man at work who revels in the same
delights, and wrestles with the same compulsions and confusions as you do. You
just do not know who that boy or man is, and they do not suspect much of you
either.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Get a grip</b>. This
is not a fever that will pass. It will return. Sorry to break the news, but you
have a gift that you cannot return. If you do not care for it, unhappiness will
be your inheritance.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Find a place to
safely be you and share your differences</b>. Like it or not, if you are under
30, yours is the vanguard generation. You are at the cutting edge of change,
the continuance of an age old civil rights battle. You will face lower barriers
to change than all of us a little older and grayer met. Your individual voice
has a larger chorus to join. You know how to Google up your scene. Do it, and
for goodness sake, graduate from virtual experience, get a little real life
experience with other complex and beautiful people in while your complexion is
still that good.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Dress appropriately.</b> Divide your age by 2 and add 7 years when dressing. This formula will get you to age appropriate. Dress for your setting. Fishnets, short skirts and strappy sandals are not commonly sited Saturday afternoon at the mall. Be spectacular, do not be a spectacle.</div>
Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-33782673686194257042012-11-11T08:04:00.000-05:002012-11-11T12:39:11.930-05:00Passes<b>Last weekend</b>, <i>darlings</i>, it was outdoorsy. I spent time
astride the gables, peaks and shingled ridge lines of our sprawling
bungalow, manfully, futilely blowing leaves, pine straw and cones out of eave
troughs and downspouts. There was pruning out some excess tree limbs and the
dismantling of a long since decommissioned satellite dish too.
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This weekend it is indoorsy. The water closet in our en
suite has become truculent. Handle jiggling no longer drives the desired silent
outcome rapidly or reliably enough. The Throne has been in service at least 11
years, predating our purchase of <b style="color: #a64d79;"><i>Chateau Bellejambes</i></b> and is therefore the only
seating in our home that the prior residents ever sat on. Time for change. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And beneath the kitchen sink too, a little low grade Plumbing
CSI is on tap for me. The In-Sink-Erato hit a couple of pitchy notes during
the supper tidy up on Election Night, and then, poof, expired in a sad acrid
puff of smoke which I will remember as only fractionally as offensive as the
cloud of profanity that will doubtless hover over my prone and pinched body as I wrangle
the new unit in later today. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There I will be, ratty jeans, scuffed steel shank boots, tools
scattered here and there and the right one not ever easily in reach, grimed up
with a couple of days of stubble on in a pretty compelling impression of a man
who owns and cares about the half acre of heaven that <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Mrs. Bellejambes</b></i> and
myself call home. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is not my natural setting. I am not a habitual <i>do-it-yerselfer.</i> But in point of fact, when I put my back into it, I am pretty handy.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I pass.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then there is <b><i style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</i></b>. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not much passing going on there of late.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friends and people I admire are pressing boundaries here
there and everywhere. <a href="http://www.janieblack.com/janies-transgender-blog/" target="_blank">Janie</a> wrestles with nails and males here. <a href="http://youcancallmemeg.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Meg</a> figures out
how a girl furnishes her first apartment and splits the rent with a roomie
there. Famous <a href="http://www.femulate.org/2012/11/woman-at-work-whats-normal.html" target="_blank">Stana</a> continues to evangelize and bravely share her fuller
self where her only her partial self was known and accepted before. <a href="http://chrissie-chrissiesplace.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Chrissie</a>
gets to put a few bob in the bank in support of her next threshold of change.
<a href="http://hallesfacade.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Halle</a> pokes, prods, and ponders causality and consequence in a way I have not had the energy for in eons. And <a href="http://yatgb.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Lynn</a>, bless her stalwart generous heart, skis nimbly between the pylons of
family and fabulous with a perfectly English pluck that I marvel at.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I salute you all. What excitement there is at the frontiers.
I remember fondly so many of my own advances, the completely enlivening, crystalline
and suddenly normal, perfect, special places one occupies when pressing ahead,
having an appetite, and draining that loving cup of new dew.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am, just now, in a nether world, a neutral place, not
moving and shaking much in the way of anything up, sipping now and then but not
gobbling big drafts of change with any regularity.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="color: #a64d79;"><i>Petra</i></b> has a very real presence in our home. A full bedroom
is dedicated to me. Drawers of knickers, bras, slips and such. Racks
of shoes and a tumble of bags. A largish armoire and full closet, neatly hung
frocks and tops and coats. A Smithsonian-worthy archive of hosiery. Wigs,
make-up, jewelry, the whole <i>She-bang</i>. Largely unused.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcI20Y__pt8My7p0c0JQcFJRD4xO5fkRQbzWOSG6utcLNyUUGjYQCVaj_aSxxuac6Aaw9QSjFooy9yM204XeHfifi0aYq9aeylTBHUIfrk55dytbkgmABM3OOzpZTT1N2ZVbjmgnohL-I/s1600/Blue+Dress+On+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcI20Y__pt8My7p0c0JQcFJRD4xO5fkRQbzWOSG6utcLNyUUGjYQCVaj_aSxxuac6Aaw9QSjFooy9yM204XeHfifi0aYq9aeylTBHUIfrk55dytbkgmABM3OOzpZTT1N2ZVbjmgnohL-I/s400/Blue+Dress+On+2.jpg" width="197" /></a></div>
I <i>do</i> dress. I skip the commute and work from home a couple of days each week, and on those days when <b><i style="color: #a64d79;">Mrs. Bellejambes</i></b> is busy on the road with her
case load and client visits, I take the time to dress. Not head-to-toe, most
often toe-to-shoulder, minus the hair and <i>maquillage</i>. I take on my business
activities with the same gusto and macho aplomb as any other day, conference
calls, vendor wrangling and tweaking my ever evolving market maturity and
penetration models.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I just do all of that with my knees pressed a little closer
together by a fitted skirt. Sometimes the knees brush the underside of my desk as
a result of a few extra inches of heel beneath sheer clad ankles. My shoulders
are held back more, my elbows hew closer to my sides, the surface elements
changing all motion, more sway, more grace, more attention to, well everything.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The work, for what it is worth, gets done with as much good,
bad or indifferent effect as it does in any setting.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then, mindful of <b style="color: #a64d79;"><i>Mrs. Bellejambes</i></b> schedule, after a few
hours I will change surfaces, hang and fold things away and get back to what …
<i>passes</i> …. as …. well, normal.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is all a little furtive, acknowledged but not spoken much
of. <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Petra</b></i> is not a confrontational or indeed a needy, greedy presence. <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Mrs.
B</b></i> has a whole and entirely creditable host of concerns, feelings of
unease, and generalized agita around the whole <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Petra</b></i> issue. I get it. I
really <b><i>do</i></b>. I am, above all, a good
and loving husband and partner in our shared enterprise. <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Petra</b></i> pads about on tip toe, no lightning strikes of stiletto heard here.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Organizing a “hall pass” for<i style="color: #a64d79;"><b> Petra</b></i> remains therefore a
touchy thing. We discussed an outing in fact earlier this week. I had a Friday invite
for cocktails and a dinner with a dear friend. Much to catch up on, the sort of
easy chit-chat that a girl looks forward to. <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Mrs. B</b></i> did not want to say, "...<i>please
no</i>...", and she did not need to. She hesitated. Her eyes said everything perfectly, and
beautifully even when sadness and worry dust her gorgeous, soft and warm face.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I did not get the pass. I took a pass. And I did not,
therefore, get out and try to pass.<br />
<br />
I stowed my hope much in the same way that I stow my
wardrobe, after it flickers and dances for a while. All quiet orderly and free
of fuss. No drama. No confrontation. A nice, adult accommodation, the imperfect
balancing acts that we, all of us more or less grown-up types make a dozen
times a day. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is all a little unsettling. I would say that I am in a
waiting room of sorts, except that I do not have a destination. I would enjoy
more access to the rest of me, and more opportunities to dart across the lines
of engagement in the gentle gender wars that we are all partisans in. Good
things happen out there. When I return from those too infrequent <b style="color: #a64d79;"><i>Voyages en Rose</i></b>, I have had my
loving cup.<br />
<br />
Honestly, I cannot see my appetites getting much more ravenous.
Pierce the ears? Nah. Paint the nails? Maybe for a night. Change any element of
my masculine inheritance in a permanent way? No such urges. What I shave or
pluck grows back. I will groom with a <i>blade</i>, but nothing, and I mean <b><i>nothing</i></b>,
is going under the <i>knife</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yeah, not a waiting room. A different place. Somewhere
between the sovereign lands of contentment and contention, embraced and
embargoed. No bucket list and nowhere near kicking the bucket. Don't quite know what to call it my dears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Must do a little something to moves things along though. Life is short and ought to be sweet, yes?</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">........................................................................................ </span></div>
<br />
<b>Update</b>: Got all the handy stuff done, and more in fact, than initially planned. Pleasant as that outcome is, all the chores were done without a single outbreak of profanity. People who do not know me could be forgiven for believing that I have a persistent and ungovernable form of Tourette's. Seems to be better managed these days.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgiSiwFmFN5Cc_yhbUM75WSEo2gox-lY1u5QQvG0TwV3Ym5s9lcr53bBcuwEcwp3ESlQdaUyH4TX2PqR58L0qSCMBoZ70-7dyxy0ZV_lu1-AmX1_o9TxSjG8f65AbU1ulwEKDydsdjrN0/s1600/smile+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgiSiwFmFN5Cc_yhbUM75WSEo2gox-lY1u5QQvG0TwV3Ym5s9lcr53bBcuwEcwp3ESlQdaUyH4TX2PqR58L0qSCMBoZ70-7dyxy0ZV_lu1-AmX1_o9TxSjG8f65AbU1ulwEKDydsdjrN0/s200/smile+2.jpg" width="118" /></a></div>
I am more likely, of late, to deploy profanity as a spice, a piquant grace note that complements the flavors of a story. In times gone by it fanned out indiscriminately behind me as though from a crop duster or, on a bad day, Agent Orange from a Fairchild C-123 leaving nothing but scorched earth and tears in my wake.<br />
<br />
Certainly, the passing of years has a little something to do with the changes, the mellowing. Experience and all that good stuff, natch.<br />
<br />
Chemistry too m'dears. T-levels drop for even the most chest-thumping primate with enough turns of the odometer.<br />
<br />
But even without an ounce of empirical support, I have to give credit to the influence of <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Petra</b></i>. Seems that my more masculine self smartens up and flies right in the presence of a lady.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-7109977161181289812012-10-14T17:15:00.002-04:002012-10-14T20:41:20.176-04:00SC Part 3: Belle Curves, Outer Space and Inner Peace<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b>Here we are</b> friends with the weekend running away from me at
the speed of light, can’t keep up with it all even in flats. Go, go, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">toujours</i> go, now, now, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">encore de</i> now, Still mentally unpacking
from <a href="http://sccatl.org/content/" target="_blank">SCC</a>. The clothes and surface things are hung, slung and bunged into
various chests, closets and tranny crannies <i style="color: #a64d79;">Chez Bellejambes</i>. And so with the
surface things out of the way, time for a deeper dive within.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is just so <i>damned</i> nice to hang out with great numbers of
guys and dolls of a similar or sympathetic disposition for a few days. You can
feel it just a couple of hours into the proceedings. Our non-normative
narratives join a swelling chorus. Our deviations from the mean become the
standard, our out-of-tolerance behaviors are not just tolerated, they are dominant.
We statistical outliers move to the center of a societal bell curve. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Conference attendees constitute the majority population for
a few short days. The hotel staff gets past our differences pretty quickly. The
accidental tourists and stowaways from <i style="color: #a64d79;">Drabistan</i> camping out at the hotel kind
of cling to the walls and shadows. Whatever they have in their wallet is not
coin of the realm here this week, and we special people wear the crown.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And this feels good, dear friends, truly good.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am not generally much of a "joiner", quite cautious and guarded about the company of
Earthlings really. I get mellower with time, but still draw on pretty deep wells of what
many regard as cynicism or snobbery. I am just a little awkward around “us”, not
ever entirely certain about how we are supposed to behave, or fully proud of
how we do, you know? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXLIMeVklFcNNAbgPU084JfkBxhnc4Ta3mSkTcovGIZAMS7W5M0Ib2_u7abHjXJ6OJoAiggGrQQk75z9BH7-OXc55vila_Qh8Hkx30NqD1sxB9t6aVng683WC47NZ__NqT1oPBDAIs3BY/s1600/Petra+and+Tall+Friend.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXLIMeVklFcNNAbgPU084JfkBxhnc4Ta3mSkTcovGIZAMS7W5M0Ib2_u7abHjXJ6OJoAiggGrQQk75z9BH7-OXc55vila_Qh8Hkx30NqD1sxB9t6aVng683WC47NZ__NqT1oPBDAIs3BY/s400/Petra+and+Tall+Friend.jpg" width="205" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Against all logic, I still remain hopeful of a rescue
mission from my distant home planet, The Council of Elders will of course shake
their outsized, fragile, translucent heads in disbelief while reading my report.
Said report will have much to do with just how replete with shit the proverbial
fan gets when we Earthlings gather in great numbers around practically any
theme. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of your great thinkers, Kurt Vonnegut opined smartly on
these matters, referring to groups of people affiliated through a shared
identity or purpose as members of a Granfalloon. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good old Kurt. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And for all that I enjoy practically every waking and
dreaming moment of SCC, I feel within me cautions against uncritical Granfalloonery.
I am a better loner than a team player, and always have been. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
I tell you this now because while I am breathless in anticipation at for the start of SCC, it is not all a fairy tale fantasy for me. I see thorns amongst the roses. Back now to the roses.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I stand (with slightly pinched toes) in complete and utter shoulder-back,
jaw-slack awe at the countless tall and short, thick and thin, dark and pale, blonde
and brunette, demure and daring, alto and baritone, big city hicks and county
crossroads aesthetes, gun nuts and peaceniks, drop-outs and post-Docs and everyone
else who each uniquely found a path to SCC this year.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To each of you who paused for a few minutes on your path,
and shared it with me, I am terribly grateful that you did. I may have said
something nice about your outfit or your beautiful smile. Perhaps we got to
talking about our home towns or sporting heroes long forgotten. We may have
spoken a bit about the whole ball of gender wax that we got rolled up in years
ago, or just how the pleasant the shade and birdsong in the back courtyard of
the Crowne Plaza is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whatever we spoke about, it all seems now, and seemed then,
pretty much normal. Normal with the highs a little higher, and the lows about
the same. I very much enjoyed your company and hope I left a little something
of value with you too.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some weeks later, looking back, taking a few years of <b>SCC </b>experience
in at a safe remove, I think the value of coming to such a conference is now
clear. We get to be a majority for a few precious days. Being a priestess in
this church makes it a little easier to be a heretic everywhere else. This
company of friends and perfect strangers with a sympathetic perspective on the
world fortifies me the rest of my <b><i><span style="color: #a64d79;">Voyages en Rose</span></i></b>, out in the bigger wider
world, uncertain of the reception, hopeful of a smile here and there. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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So, come to <a href="http://sccatl.org/content/" target="_blank">SCC</a> next year would you? Or <a href="http://www.transcentralpa.org/keystone.htm" target="_blank">Keystone</a>. Or <a href="http://www.espritconf.com/" target="_blank">Esprit</a>.
Or <a href="http://www.be-all.org/" target="_blank">Be-All</a>. Or <a href="http://fantasiafair.org/" target="_blank">Fantasia Fair</a>. Or <a href="http://tcne.org/?page_id=60" target="_blank">wher<i>ever</i></a>. Whether you are completely private and closeted
or loud and proud, newly on your way or long decades past trying, you owe
yourself a few days in the majority, a few days of glittering normality. Does a guy or a gal good.</div>
Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-51206305179447496682012-10-06T18:22:00.002-04:002012-10-06T19:38:52.848-04:00SCC Part 2: Girl (Politely) Interrupted<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b>My minutely</b> considered editorial calendar, beautiful
friends, was torn entirely asunder upon receipt of a loving and welcomed
comment just this morning. You know who you are, my Dear Anonymous pen pal. You
moved me greatly today. Thank you.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I <b>do not know</b> the <i>why</i> behind <b style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</b>. I have looked long and have not cornered the prey. This Golden Fleece is on the protected species list,
never to be pursued with vigor, and left to roam peaceful, unperturbed by my
clumsy footfalls. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I <i><b>do know</b></i> precisely why I write though. Much of <b>that</b> <i>why</i>
comes down to the periodic payoff of a nice word from a reader. Terribly
shallow of me I know. The work itself should be sufficient dividend, yes? Hmmm.
Well theoretically, yes. But while I have over the decades attained a few
precious and sometimes pharmaceutically aided moments of clarity, I simply do not
live on a very high plateau of self-actualization. Periodic roses tossed in the
path go an awful long way with me. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And so, thanks again, <b>Anon the Third</b>. Especially for the
pleasant reminder of my encounter with <a href="http://voyagesenrose.blogspot.com/2010/03/impromptu-cross-dresser-outreach.html" target="_blank">Leisl</a> in the <b>Belk</b> bargain shoe racks way back in springtime ’09. A very special day for me. I had a happy return to
this same sort of unexpected intimacy while out in the Vanilla
world all Tuti Fruti’d up a couple of Fridays ago. I’ll tell the tale here
today and come back to bigger picture observations about the <a href="http://sccatl.org/" target="_blank">Southern Comfort Conference</a> the next time that time allows. </div>
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<span style="color: #a64d79;">........................................................................ </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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It was a sunny Friday, my Day 2 of <b style="color: #a64d79;">SCC</b>, after a perfect makeup
session wit<span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;"></span>h <b style="background-color: #f3f3f3; color: #a64d79;">Monica Prata</b> of <a href="http://www.facebook.com/nvshe" target="_blank">Nouveau She</a>, and a smart luncheon of grilled
chicken salad. Ashley and others of the pretty Minnesota cohort jumped a ride
with me to Perimeter Mall for a little shopping therapy. I got a too hung up in
<a href="http://anntaylor.com/" target="_blank">Ann Taylor</a> for my friends, and so we parted ways in part so that I could continue to rifle racks
and fondle frocks. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I recognized the woman who was helping me. I had a particular thing in mind, and asked her where I might find it. </div>
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“<i>Where o where … forgive me, I am just here today from my
home store at Northpoint, not sure I know where things are quite yet</i>…”</div>
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<br /></div>
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“<i>No worries</i>, <i>take your time</i>”, says I, “ <i>you have helped me out on a couple
of occasions there and I love your style</i>”.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhX1bGFzhs4VU3AxbXZpm0rTI2ppSo7tPT3Ff2304IDmJPSAH347qZ1tp9sDSThmYmNavkUi636lCdnJg36jh508iTQalpwqlyz4sGxoI6q2OxaxZdsdQYaMp265z4E2f3ZgdbK8ZKBgM/s1600/Petra+Shopping+Look.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhX1bGFzhs4VU3AxbXZpm0rTI2ppSo7tPT3Ff2304IDmJPSAH347qZ1tp9sDSThmYmNavkUi636lCdnJg36jh508iTQalpwqlyz4sGxoI6q2OxaxZdsdQYaMp265z4E2f3ZgdbK8ZKBgM/s400/Petra+Shopping+Look.jpg" width="167" /></a></div>
This earned me a double take as she tried to match
the present woman with the past man. We found a couple of items together,
she prepared a fitting room in that courtly <b>AT</b> manner, and then more or
less vanished to help a few other shoppers out. </div>
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I have written <a href="http://voyagesenrose.blogspot.com/2011/11/cross-dressers-exciting-3-way.html" target="_blank">before</a> how the private sanctuary and world of wonderful mirrors is a place of near religious revelation for me. Honest,
open, and intimate moments happen here amongst the girls. Moments that chaps cannot
buy for money. Very enlivening moments on a good day. Did I mention I was
having a great day?</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bag dumped on the booth bench, booties kicked off, side-zip
slacks peeled down, the flowing lace overlay skirt pulled up, zipped up,
and door swung open for the short toddle over to the fiercely opinionated 3
way. An interrupted toddle as it happened.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“<i>What do you think</i>? ...” the stranger posed of me, indicating the plum pencil skirt she had shimmied on.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“<i>I like it. <b>I do</b>. What’s the occasion, Oooh, and turn for me
would you</i>?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Her skirt hit a couple of inches north of beautiful, dark
complexioned knee, The blouse threw off complementary floral sparks of pink. Fit and curved, lovely altogether from bare foot to popping smile,
bright eyes and swept hair.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She pirouetted and seemed not to mind my rather baritone
register.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“<i>First date. And he is younger, only by a few years, but you
know how men are, I just don’t want to be … too old. I just don’t know if this
does it</i>…”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“<i>You’ll be fine. For starters you are beautiful, honestly,
and if he doesn’t get that, he shouldn’t get past a first date. Show again? How
did you meet him?</i>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“<i>Oh, friends hooked us up, they always worry about me, I
have been out of the dating game so long and you know I don’t mind really, but
it all tugs at me you know?</i>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Honestly darlings, I <b>do not</b> know. I perceive that dating is
mostly pure and utter awkwardness, dashed hopes, dropped standards and
disappointments, and I thank the cosmos daily that I have been sidelined for 17
years. But that leap into the unknown, the need for optimism, the hope for
Prince or Princess Charming, I can still summon up electric memories and a bellyful
of butterflies at the thought.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“<i>OK. Listen up: <b>forget your age</b>, you are a stunner. What about the guy?
What do you know about him? Will he want to talk football?</i>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“<i>Golf. I think. Yeah, he is supposed to be a golfer</i>.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“<i>OK, quick primer. The Tour Championship is in town this
weekend over at Eastlake. It is a cliffhanger. Tiger Woods has a shot at the
win, but he is in tough against Brant Snedeker and Rory Mc</i><i>i</i><i>lroy. Eastlake is
where Bobby Jones learned to play, legendary place. Ask him if he is watching
the tournament and that should wind him up for at least a few minutes.</i>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2TcF83JGrjC88s8sftIZpk8E_s5MfIk0oQ8lLUa8gSR9sJm9sOO_XCJFqGVPtVvibeznAkh8z4GCff6hUvcto_1OZ08zTGUoImf4mI0xltLodbngVo60AtM_HBmMw9bU1j8DXe7b6CWw/s1600/AT+Shift.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2TcF83JGrjC88s8sftIZpk8E_s5MfIk0oQ8lLUa8gSR9sJm9sOO_XCJFqGVPtVvibeznAkh8z4GCff6hUvcto_1OZ08zTGUoImf4mI0xltLodbngVo60AtM_HBmMw9bU1j8DXe7b6CWw/s400/AT+Shift.jpg" width="181" /></a></div>
The saleslady came back with another armload of gear for her,
and I padded off with my too big skirt into the shop to find the skinnier
version, and O, while I am at it, that blue half-sleeved just-above-the knee shift dress in pretty jewel blue looks tasty...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chit chat continued in open volleys over the walls of our
adjoining confession booths on this that and the other thing. The lady who was
helping her out was not really hitting the fashion mark. Wrong sizes and colors and out
of the who-knows-where suggestions where being pried in the door and I could
just feel the tension building. We stepped out to the mirror together again
with the area to ourselves.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“<i>She just doesn’t get it. Honestly is she listening ?.</i>.. "she
said helping me up with my zip “ <i>Oh but I like that. You like?</i>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I only <i>nearly</i> liked the dress, just a little drapey for me.
I am slender at the waist and hate to give up this pleasant inheritance simply
for the sake of an of-the-moment silhouette (<i>ed. Vanity, thy name is Petra…</i>).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And so it continued. We talked. Zipped. Unzipped. She talked
me out of the strappy sandals, and she was right. Too high a tone and too low a
heel for my liking but tempting still. It is lovely and necessary sometimes to have a
suspicion confirmed by a woman with an admitted shoe addiction. She got the
skirt. I talked her down a size, a size she didn’t believe in, but one that
worked a charm on her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She was bright, alert, and absolutely paying attention. It
was plain to see, and plainer to hear, that I was equipped with a non-standard
solitary X chromosome, not a fully pledged member of the Sorority, plain as day
that I am not, in the broadly accepted way, a woman. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And it just did not matter, did it? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe my difference <b>did matter </b>to her. Perhaps she was
spinning the karmic wheel, whispering goodness to the universe and paying
forward a small measure of acceptance. A measure of acceptance that I am sure
she has been denied by people with a pale complexion as she stood hopefully at
one crossroads or another needing only a smile and an encouraging word. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe my difference <b>didn’t matter</b>. Perhaps the fitting room warren
is very much like a train minus the jostling and unsettling aromas, with a
destination and separate paths bought and paid for and soon, complete with
virtual bungee cords that save us all the effort and hurt of the endured
commitment to kindness.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And maybe goodness and openness is just good and open. Free
and priceless when a moment presents and the spirits conspire.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We parted with a hug. I did not ask her name, and I did not
volunteer mine. She won’t read this blog post. And we are likely not to see or
recognize each other again. But I am hopeful of a couple of things:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hope her date did not talk golf. I hope he asked her about
a favorite meal, the best smell ever, or a sunset that she would not trade for
gold. I hope he told her about a terribly embarrassing moment in his life, one
where he prayed the ground would swallow him whole but that he can laugh about
now. I hope he held the door. I hope he lost track of time. I hope he wanted
the privilege of more of her company, and asked for it like he meant it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hope she said no when he pressed for yes. I hope she did
not need to look over her shoulder when her key hit the door to know that he
was watching every gorgeous, womanly step she took walking away from him,
desirable as all hell get out as she no doubt looked. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, I <b>do know</b> how men are. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">........................................................................ </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Postscript. <b>An open letter to Anonymous 3</b>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I <b>did</b><i> </i>intend to write today. At the start of the day I had
not picked the lock on a theme or approach to the labor. Your comment cleared
a path and cheered me up. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMrzLmV2zyXxw4TvA54bchOqKuUmw-jaVU5Bfb0AzpQYggcj1fgkMNvZ93aCmvWQ9MO9Y1l-5cS0IoOW1efaR4RNqtjRF1IUuP4KLfZ1Z2UPvlH7aREu_1qQgTKD85VpLeFE9JILYT9lU/s1600/Petra+Impromptu_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMrzLmV2zyXxw4TvA54bchOqKuUmw-jaVU5Bfb0AzpQYggcj1fgkMNvZ93aCmvWQ9MO9Y1l-5cS0IoOW1efaR4RNqtjRF1IUuP4KLfZ1Z2UPvlH7aREu_1qQgTKD85VpLeFE9JILYT9lU/s400/Petra+Impromptu_1.jpg" width="193" /></a></div>
I <b>did not</b> intend to dress today. This is an anniversary
weekend for <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Mrs. Bellejambes</b></i> and I. On such a weekend, well, we really don’t
want <b style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</b> stepping out of the Sleek Chorus singing unsettling verse. As is
happens though, <b style="color: #a64d79;">Mrs. B</b> had a few beautiful hours scheduled with friends this
afternoon, and so prior to writing I <i>did </i>dress, for just a couple of loving
hours. Favorite shades, purples and pinks like my friend. Minus the makeup, nails and fragrance, but nearly fully the <b style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</b> I so love to become from time to time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have thought of you today, and projected myself into your
life a little. Five years, cold turkey as you say, is a daunting thing. I
reckon though that there will be such a time for me. A time when the clothes do not
fit, where the outer surfaces do not meet the inner dreams sufficiently, a time
when this appetite diminishes as many other appetites have in my life. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do not know you from Eve. But I believe that you have
access to a beautiful measure of your inner Eve. I want to live my whole
life hanging on to mine for dear life. She makes the outer Adam much more
agreeable whatever he is wearing, doesn’t she?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sincere thanks for your visit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Much love to you all.</div>
Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-34359758357424865582012-09-30T15:59:00.002-04:002012-10-01T06:58:53.390-04:00Getting back to Petra. SCC Part 1<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b>The Southern Comfort Conference</b> finished up, <i>dear friends</i>,
just last weekend, and your fickle Pen Pal was en scene, embedded, engaged,
bedecked, bejeweled and altogether beguiled for two glorious days of full <b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</span></b>
immersion. This was my third visit, and <sup></sup><sup><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"></span></sup> <a href="http://sccatl.org/content/">SCC</a>, is now pretty well established as where and how I wriggle out of the
summer cocoon and spin myself up in slinky silky stuff for a new life, a new season. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Still shocking too how natural and easy the chrysalis
is. Lasting too. <i>Par example</i>, I was in a drab social setting later that weekend, after my SCC time was over. There
I was, unshaven, butch wallet, no spritz of perfume behind the knee, and I
still had to absolutely <i>bite my tongue</i> when introducing myself to strangers.
Having spent the prior couple of days with “<i>Hi! My name is Petra</i> …”, I was
still quite in the habit. It took the full evening to comfortably find my way
back home to my more commonly known given name, with some damn near misses
along the way. I had to smile. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I had much to smile about.</div>
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<br /></div>
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This year, I chose to
stay at the host property, the Perimeter Crowne Plaza. <b>Mrs. Bellejambes</b>, you see is
quite concerned about <b style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</b> getting clocked making daylight dashes through our
close knit neighborhood. I take her point quite well. Yes, there <i>does</i> lurk a silly adrenaline junky within who rather enjoys the thrill, the sound of the drum pounding away
inside my amply padded chest cavity. That cheap thrill doesn’t tip the scale
when measured against the value of my wife’s peace of mind though. And on the
upside, a second or perhaps a third glass of wine would not be out of order if
I was only a short elevator ride from my crib rather than even a shortish
drive home. Virtue and necessity do accessorize perfectly from time to time. </div>
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<br /></div>
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And so I rose early Thursday morning, burned through the final
thousand requirements of the work week, set auto-reply
and phone messages for the long weekend, and stepped off the grid. I then took
a deep breath, the first in a series as it happens.</div>
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<br /></div>
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After that moment of calm collection, I proceeded to pack like a refugee. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Ginger Grant wheeled 3 full seasons of glittering evening gowns aboard the S.S.
Minnow for a 3 Hour Tour. Ginger Grant ain't got nothing (but looks) on me. I had been too damn busy to really have anything more than a
sketch of a wardrobe plan, and this absence of forethought showed in the
Sherpa-sized bail of gear that I schlepped across town. What really stands out
though are the things forgotten. A decent facial soap for instance, or <i>hey
girl</i>, would it kill you to bring a camera maybe?</div>
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<br /></div>
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No time for regrets on these matters though. It was time to
<i>change time</i>, to slow time down, to anticipate the change and <i>savor </i>it. First
things first, the room, <b style="color: #a64d79;">Petra’s</b> room. Not a place for either a chap or a
chaperone. <b style="color: #a64d79;">Petra’s room</b>. Unpack first, populate the drawers, drape the closets
and cover the counter tops with an orderly display of feminine occupation. The
last vestiges of drab me folded away, given the dignity of a plastic bag burial
and slid beneath the pillow array on the spare bed. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Time for another deep
breath.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3NeOBBTw7nngsJ5CqJ2WR0GYKD1vinErIz-cEZ6lh6kq0bpSIsjXC9auPoqpR28_bfNnFGRwjpPUGIgCVPW7rkxFOJ6Xm-T7oyMVnFgeXLX10bDdNaxo9SRASeIhEMCW5oNpBRaFLwTw/s1600/Petra+SCC_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3NeOBBTw7nngsJ5CqJ2WR0GYKD1vinErIz-cEZ6lh6kq0bpSIsjXC9auPoqpR28_bfNnFGRwjpPUGIgCVPW7rkxFOJ6Xm-T7oyMVnFgeXLX10bDdNaxo9SRASeIhEMCW5oNpBRaFLwTw/s640/Petra+SCC_1.jpg" width="218" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now for the body. Not the pressed and practical prep
of the man day. The patient, purposeful pamper, the care of the skin that
soaks in so much more than skin deep. The first autumn shave, all the shearing
and plucking and gumming the plumbing required to achieve my undoubtedly preferred
surface characteristic. Buffed, moisturized, painted and powdered, the body
feels new and young again. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Time then for the face. On with the wig cap and off with the
glasses, the eyes another year worse for the wear, the hands and fingers months
out of practice, but surely and slowly connecting with habits long gone but not
forgotten. An afternoon palette for the eyes, nothing too dramatic, thin as
they are, my own lashes with a few coats of lacquer will do. I am glad I
cleaned my brushes before putting them to rest in the spring. A couple of false
moves and uncertain strokes, nothing Q-Tips and Kleenex can’t obscure. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The foundation and powder shine up and smooth out things
well enough, some cheek color and lip contour. I
finish by reminding myself and a gentle reminder that I am a 50-something now,
and didn’t have soft facial contours and bee sting lips for starters. I
feel proud in a different way, a way unique to <i><b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</span></b>-time</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nails on now, and finally, the
crescendo moment of the coronation, the hair. It never fails to feel awesome. I can believe myself fully now. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know now that I am really only short minutes away from the
world. Just the breath-catching moment as the dress hugs me in snugly. The shoes then, the jewelery, lovely big chunky things, the mist of fragrance, a
check of the contents of clutch, a last look in the mirror, and the last deep
breath of the day.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The one just before the door opens, and closes, clack,
locked behind you.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
More later on so many lovely people and moments.. Nice to be back.</div>
Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-92012298715416515482012-08-26T16:32:00.000-04:002012-08-26T17:12:49.302-04:00Strange Fruit<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I sprout</b> in the autumn and flower all winter long. Come
spring the leaves fall and flutter away. Then summer. The dormant time. I go
entirely to ground.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is all upside down, yes?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Upside down, back to front, topsy-turvy yes, and all that,
truly but not chaotic no, nor random. Cyclical. Orbital. Predictable even when
I take a peek at the cheat-sheets of hindsight. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am a bit of a feather head friends and slow on the uptake.
It only occurred to me this year that I feel the same way in Atlanta early in
August as I did eons ago in March when I lived way the hell up north. For those
of you who have not lived in Canada amongst Gods Frozen People or in other places
of extraordinarily dark, chill, and long winters, let me describe the day of
light and hope. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Up north, it happens in March. Out of the blue comes a day
that nukes snow banks and sets spirits soaring. Beautiful human forms emerge
from shapeless fleece and feathered cocoons. The UPS dude wears shorts. Umbrellas pop up
and open on long shuttered restaurant patios. Lunch runs long and loose and,
for me back then, liquid. You know with absolute certainty that you will get
flattened by one more soul crushing blizzard but you know even more that you
have survived another gawdawful winter.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And what a feeling that is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here in the south it comes in August. After long months of sprawling,
sweaty summer where every outdoor breath is a soggy shot glass of 5 Hour Apathy
there comes a day of lightness. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Air, f</span>irst
thing in the morning, is cool and crisp. At lunchtime, the car is not a
hellacious furnace. Early in the evening, while the sun is <i>still</i> up, the
dogs bark and bay for a good walk. The mosquitoes might be carrying something
that will knock you flat, but the odds are that you will see Autumn again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And what a feeling that is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Way back in March, on a Friday, I had my last real night out
<b><i>en Femme</i></b>. That Saturday, the wardrobe was folded, the makeup cased, the bags,
shoes, wigs and the rest of the pretty accoutrements were put away. Ploughed
under, furloughed away.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here in August, come the early shoots, stirrings underground,
in the quiet times before the sprouting and flowering. Foreshadows and
rumblings of the riot of fecundity and flat out fun that go along with my
topsy-turvydom.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And what a feeling that is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">------------------------------------------------------------- </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To those of you who have reached out with the odd hello, I
am very grateful. Believe me when I say that you have my very full respect and
affection. You know who you are. Thank you sincerely. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To those of you whose blogs I love, please accept my
apologies for not following you on your journeys as well I would like, and for
not cheering you on from the comments section. I admire your ability to write
and share with such constancy and care.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And to those of you who drop in here time to time looking
for something scandalous or halfway witty, thanks for coming back. I am promising to myself to
have great experiences this autumn. There should, therefore, be much to propose and prose on about here on <b style="color: #a64d79;">Voyages en Rose</b>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-88209963893214820612012-02-19T14:17:00.000-05:002012-02-19T14:17:24.480-05:00January seen from February.<b>Shamed I am</b>, by my lack of attention to this old house, <b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Voyages en Rose</span></b>. Much to chat about after all, just precious little time available to your humble hack with which to tumble thoughts into keystrokes. I <i>did</i> get a post out in January, and with today’s effort, will be able to count one for February too. A streak of sorts I suppose.<br />
<br />
This evidence to the contrary, I <i>have</i> been pretty well steeped in the life of <b style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</b> year to date. With my pal <b>Ally</b> on an extended tropical retreat, editorial responsibilities with <a href="http://guilty-pleasures.org/" target="_blank">Guilty Pleasures</a> have taken on a life of their own. Samples from lovely vendors have been piling up here at home. For those of you with an interest in largely favorable and hopefully witty <a href="http://guilty-pleasures.org/author/Petra" target="_blank">reviews</a> of pretty intimates, do take a moment or two to visit.<br />
<br />
<b>Mrs. Bellejambes</b> and the <b>UPS man</b> have both become accustomed to parcels addressed to this mystery woman. Not so concerned with the UPS man of course, but happy to report that my admittedly non-normative fascination with the life of women is, well, normalizing here at home. <b>Mrs. B.</b> does rather wish that we shared more sizes and is wondering when my wardrobe will squeeze us out of our home, but <b><span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span></b> is, on the whole, not a troubling tenant.<br />
<br />
So, where was I? I did have a great January. The first planning session for the not-to-be-missed <a href="http://sccatl.org/" target="_blank">Southern Comfort Conference</a> happened one sunny Saturday. <b>SCC</b> has a new-look, new-function web-site, and a massive crew of volunteers laying into the epic effort of staging a big, complex function for complex people. Wonderful stuff. Your attendance will add considerably. Please mark your calendars for <b>Sept 21 – 25</b>. Friends of <b><span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span></b> will reliably find her perched on a tall stool cradling a chilled glass.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb0libAPUg2bFTJ0D86vYqi6u64otXah391rBPDYpSBVRHdigHiUclHng0iMeQ0iMXVOnJamtB0YG09fVXqc7sUCrexI-cN1Ja_Bzqt0q5oqJvyoffjjPkkrlGu3rQiiIyONF89K4tZkY/s1600/AT+Kavi+Jacquard+Skirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb0libAPUg2bFTJ0D86vYqi6u64otXah391rBPDYpSBVRHdigHiUclHng0iMeQ0iMXVOnJamtB0YG09fVXqc7sUCrexI-cN1Ja_Bzqt0q5oqJvyoffjjPkkrlGu3rQiiIyONF89K4tZkY/s200/AT+Kavi+Jacquard+Skirt.jpg" width="183" /></a></div>I dressed on this day for the fitting room and was mission driven to find a great pair of wide lined black pants. This wardrobe staple was absent from my closet. Bulls eye on first pick with the always reliable <a href="http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/inc-international-concepts-pants-high-waist-flare-leg?ID=628489&CategoryID=157&LinkType=#fn=BRAND%3DINC%20International%20Concepts%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D27%26ruleId%3D60%26slotId%3D8" target="_blank">I.N.C.</a> line. Guy mode me has not worn flared pants since <i>Frampton Came Alive</i> and will not even long after he is dead, but <b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</span></b> delights in the look. Shopping for slacks is, by reliable reports, a typically traumatic day for many women. I remain blessed by good fortune, and love the look and feel being the woman in perfect pants. <br />
<br />
Next stop <b>Ann Taylor</b> where I scored a gorgeous new <a href="http://www.anntaylor.com/ann/product/AT-Apparel/AT-Skirts/Kavi-Bubble-Jacquard-Mini-Skirt/264307?colorExplode=false&skuId=10197332&catid=cata000049&productPageType=saleProducts&defaultColor=6012" target="_blank">skirt</a> (pictured above) for a song, and again enjoyed fashion chit-chat in the fitting room warren with other enthusiastic fashionistas. This skirt is by the way, still available in a great assortment of sizes and can be yours for a mere <b>$15.00</b> for the next few days. Go click. <br />
<br />
Last stop, the lamentably soon to be shuttered Bloomingdale's Perimeter store for a romp through their store closing clearance event. My finds from <b>TC Intimates</b> found their way up and over my hips and into the pages of <b>Guilty Pleasures</b> in the form of a <a href="http://guilty-pleasures.org/time-to-shape-up" target="_blank">loving review</a>. The ravages of time and a general lack of exercise have contributed to a little weight gain about the waist friends. You know my vanity well by now, and so should not be surprised to see me singing praises about foundation garments that help order ones shape about. If you do not have a seriously smoothing slip in your wardrobe, you should, and could do much worse than the <a href="http://www.cupidintimates.com/tc-fine-intimates/shapewear/slips/style-4040-tcr-even-morer-full-slip-torsette.html" target="_blank">TC Torsette</a>, seen below. The pull-on Nipper too helps provide a little waist to hip relief. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfwRSyes1MZ1dYqo5MmgGKb-PRItCp3Zp8DRwRMFh6Ww8WatVFGHni2p94qI6qls7snZgHkK2jCAmaafU0uf0NCSbWoP6mAOPBMVOoFAELoRnkDHR8JCF-paBWQFcG3CXqwqjYstMzwj0/s1600/TC+Torsette+Shaping+Slip.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfwRSyes1MZ1dYqo5MmgGKb-PRItCp3Zp8DRwRMFh6Ww8WatVFGHni2p94qI6qls7snZgHkK2jCAmaafU0uf0NCSbWoP6mAOPBMVOoFAELoRnkDHR8JCF-paBWQFcG3CXqwqjYstMzwj0/s400/TC+Torsette+Shaping+Slip.jpg" width="197" /></a>I spent a couple of hours wandering about, bags slung from shoulder and honestly enjoying what amounted to a spa day for my soul. Never an unkind glance or unwelcoming word from any of the civilians and staffers I chatted with, and this in broad daylight at the busiest time of the week in a thriving suburban setting mall. I have said it before, and reinforce it here: Even just a few hours out and about with the world from time to time does the rest of me a power of goodness. Lovely memories to carry about long after the bags are emptied, and the wig and the rest of it all folded away until next time.<br />
<br />
Next time did not wait all too long either, and I claim a personal first on this recent <b style="color: #741b47;">Voyage en Rose</b>. I packed a second bag for a business trip to the sunny west coast and saved myself a gruesome red-eye flight home by allowing for a little LA time <i style="color: #741b47;">en Femme</i>. I had a theme of holy pilgrimage in mind as I begged off Friday evening invites, swapped identities and strode out of my hotel for a drive up to Studio City and a visit with the famous and fabulous <b>Alison</b> of <a href="http://fairefroufrou.com/" target="_blank">Faire Frou Frou</a> fame. <br />
<br />
<b>Faire Frou Frou</b> is the epicenter of intimate wardrobe luxury, and I have enjoyed a friendly on-line relationship with <b>Alison</b> and her equally darling mom <b>Gail</b> for some years now. Nothing will get you past the rigors of LA Friday traffic more quickly than a little visit and modest shopping splurge in this <i>Oasis of Underwear</i>. Entirely refreshing and luxurious for the blogger to meet, in the smiling flesh, someone you really admire. Loads of girl talk ranging from fashion, knickers, relationships and even business of all topics. Wonderful shopping too, <i>bien sur</i>, and precious moments in the prettiest fitting room in the inner solar system. Read about the whole intimate idyll over <a href="http://guilty-pleasures.org/guilty-pleasures-on-location-faire-frou-frou" target="_blank">here</a>. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjbM_AkhiJa5euwFpOEdw_ObTr5X8KxERb2ihv2s7qlQM8t4ajE9_vE3r2Olw2-tebBSwFtKURGzCTAwYYeMX9omHqg_bFLQctqV1chCIf5iiDcPgRP9zZk4sHLcoHKL5mtQMze2alw_A/s1600/Petra_FFF_4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjbM_AkhiJa5euwFpOEdw_ObTr5X8KxERb2ihv2s7qlQM8t4ajE9_vE3r2Olw2-tebBSwFtKURGzCTAwYYeMX9omHqg_bFLQctqV1chCIf5iiDcPgRP9zZk4sHLcoHKL5mtQMze2alw_A/s400/Petra_FFF_4.jpg" width="175" /></a>From there, the sublime, and slowly into the tawdry heart of Hollywood for something closer to ridiculous. We have to give credit to <a href="http://www.fredericks.com/" target="_blank">Fredericks of Hollywood</a> for romanticizing lingerie and bringing sexy to market. Their flagship store is right on the <b>Walk of Fame</b>, vogueing vainly for attention amongst the dispirited tourists and busking Peruvian Pan-flute bands (yes, <i>two</i> of them) thronging the broad sidewalks. I executed a near-perfect <b>Carrie Bradshaw</b> stiletto-heel, gazelle-leap, hair blowing and bag flailing, darting through the vehicular mosh pit, and burst quite delightedly into <b>Shrine # 2</b> of my evening. <br />
<br />
<b>Fredericks</b> is too brightly lit for my liking, and the lingerie is of suspect quality for the most part. But still, I <i>was</i> nearby <i>and</i> dressed, so a polite genuflection was certainly called for. I did genuflect around the shoe department, and could not find a comfy fit amongst the towering platforms and over-the-knee boots on display. The prices were right yes, but the costs of pinched toes and aching tendons are to be weighed more heavily in my view. Out into the night empty handed therefore, one more swan dive into and through the <b>Hollywood Boulevard</b> chaos, and back to my hotel<b></b> for a little end of day supper and perhaps a glass of wine.<br />
<br />
Now, the <b style="color: #741b47;">Cross Dresser</b> is accustomed, when out and about, to feeling like the most conspicuous person in most settings. This was not the case upon my return to the <b>LAX Westin</b>. I popped up to my room first for a quick refresh of the <i>maquillage</i>, and met fascinating company in the elevator back down. You see, there was a <i>Wrestling Convention</i> of some sort in my hotel. I shared the ride with three entirely cute and menacing young bustier-fishnet-and-boot clad <b>Gladiatrixes</b> who were practicing well choreographed moves in the tight elevator confines. <br />
<br />
Awesome physicality, youthful beauty and an outrageous sense of fun was the general vibe. I share at least the outrageous sense of fun, and so we paused in the lobby for a while together. I was introduced to a handful of their male counterparts, massive hulking presences, neon tights, cowboy hats, evil Ninjas, hillbilly bullies, you name it the whole crazy assortment of personae that populate the squared circle. <br />
<br />
And <i>me</i>. <br />
<br />
Proper in <b>Ann Taylor</b>, dripping in faux pearl, shining in <a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/donna-karan-sheer-satin-ultimate-toner-hosiery/3036025?origin=category&resultback=503" target="_blank">Donna Karan</a> sheers, and clearly the least remarkable presence in the whole damned hotel. Top <i>that</i>, dear friends. There was absolutely nothing I could do to scandalize the setting. Time for hugs with the new girlfriends and retreat to a smallish booth in a dimly lit restaurant. My waitress was a complete sweetie, ready with the black table linen and a warm welcome. A super evening altogether, and one I will long remember.<br />
<br />
My senses are always a little more lit when traveling, and seeing a place less well known. These feeling are magnified magnificently when traveling <b><i style="color: #741b47;">en Femme</i></b>. I will have occasion to do this again this year, and the thought, amongst others, helps time click happily along. Perhaps I will have another tale of this variety for you in March.<br />
<br />
Thanks as always for your visit, for your stamina, and for your curious appetite for my odd tales. <br />
<br />
Happy dressing and everything else too.Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-76519273107758443542012-01-01T11:49:00.003-05:002012-01-01T11:52:52.543-05:00Prowling and Pouncing on the New Year<b><span style="font-size: small;">Putting aside</span></b>, for just a moment the still real possibility that the <b>Mayans</b> were right all along, and our whole loving world goes kaput some time or other this year, I am quite looking forward to <b>2012</b>.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sunxgWQ2eRE/TwCIRkgMLYI/AAAAAAAACQM/nZDMIPSGeJY/s1600/Michael+Kors+Zebra+Sheath.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sunxgWQ2eRE/TwCIRkgMLYI/AAAAAAAACQM/nZDMIPSGeJY/s400/Michael+Kors+Zebra+Sheath.jpg" width="131" /></a></div>Amongst other things, I feel driven to expand my animal style menagerie to include <b>Zebra</b> prints. Yes friends, <b>Leopard</b> has been done to death, and I feel partly responsible. So, yes, the <b>2012</b> forecast is all about<b> Zebra</b>. <b>Tiger</b> too. <b>Ocelot</b> also I suppose. And more <b>Snakeskin</b> and other <i>motifs</i> <b>Reptilian</b>, ne c'est pas??</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Oh, who am I fooling? There will be <b>Leopard</b> too. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">(ed. <b>Leopard</b>,<b> <i>darling</i></b>, I was only joking. Those other animals, they mean <i>nothing</i> to me. It’s always, <b>only</b> been you.)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As busy as things have been with work, family, holidays and the rest of the year end madness, I am happy to report that <b>Petra </b>has been shown some good loving care of late. There were three life giving outings in December, our darkest, brightest month.<br />
<br />
A few weeks back now, dear friend <b>Gabrielle</b> put together a social at Atlanta’s <a href="http://www.chaparralatlanta.net/">Club Chaparral</a>, and I was delighted to see a beautiful brace of local luminaries and various Gendernauts all dolled up on a school night. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Gabrielle</b> starts off at 6’ tall before the heels go on. And this evening she had the <i>absolute nerve</i> to fix her hair in an <b>up-do</b>. That’s a whole lotta girl. It was good to catch up with her not having chatted since Ramona’s <a href="http://voyagesenrose.blogspot.com/2011/09/passing.html">memorial service</a>. Managed as well happily to spend time with the inexhaustible <b>Miss Edie</b>, <b>Phoebe Reece</b>, <b>Debbie Lynn</b> and other friends old and new. <b>Gabrielle</b> plans to make a Thursday evening social a regular feature of life here in Atlanta. Drop me a line here if you are local and looking for more information.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Pastor Paul</b>, leader of the epically open minded, liberal faith community at <a href="http://www.firstmcc.com/">First Metropolitan Community Church</a> was in attendance too, and tendered an invite to his Christmas service luncheon for the following Sunday. I ran a little late because honestly, I simply <i>don’t know</i> <b><i>how</i></b> to do Church appropriate eye make-up.<br />
<br />
Loads of families, a wild palette of complexions, young and old and warm welcomes all around. <b>Miss Edie</b> brought along her Gretsch, a stack of amps and her sweet, sweet voice for musical entertainment. Real holiday season stuff. Nice to catch up with <b>Barbara</b> especially. My Lizard pumps were a big hit with the choir girls.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-df81puAP_mg/TwCLWajLBRI/AAAAAAAACQY/vZGtkMYb0O4/s1600/NYE_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-df81puAP_mg/TwCLWajLBRI/AAAAAAAACQY/vZGtkMYb0O4/s640/NYE_3.jpg" width="280" /></a>And with the curtain closing on <b>2011</b> last night, I slithered into a party frock and shimmied out into the night. <b>CyndiLou</b> and <b>Joanne Purcell</b> managed to organize cocktails, dinner and entertainment for twenty or so local ladies and loving partners. I had a prior obligation and so sadly could not stay for supper or the undoubtedly fun times had by all at <a href="http://www.thenewlebuzz.com/">Le Buzz</a>. Do you know though, even a short few hours <b style="color: #a64d79;"><i>en Femme</i></b> in great company really goes a long, long way. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Loads of gold(ish) bling, a clingy dress, powdered and perfumed surfaces, a genuine New Years Eve effort. I felt like a million dollars my dears. There is a vast wide river of confidence that flows from having a well put together look. The belief that you are wearing the nicest lingerie in the room doesn't hurt either.<br />
<br />
It comes out in the walk, shaking the hair out, throwing the shoulders back and smiling as the doors slide open into the lobby of a nice hotel. Stop a moment, scan the room, meet all the eyes, spot the bar and stride on in, heels on tiles and that slightly breathless feeling that I still get, that feeling that I hope never goes away.<br />
<br />
The feeling that I can summon up even the <i>smallest fraction</i> of power that women have. The power to make the world stand still. How dazzled I have always been by that power, and how privileged I feel to touch it as fleetingly as I do.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">---------------------------------------------------------------------- </span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I <i>did</i> mention prior obligations though, yes? They necessitated a fast drive home and transformation back into the more broadly known me for a most excellent celebration with <b>Mrs. Bellejambes</b> and the company of a lovely couple to usher <b>2012</b> in with. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We spoke briefly, <b>Mrs. B</b> and I about the possibility of ushering in the year in <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Petra-mode</b></i>. It was a serious discussion and a real coin toss in my view. Ultimately, my beautiful wife came upon words that made it a no-brainer for me.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“I want to go into the new year as <i>us</i>”.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And so we did. It was good. Great in fact.<br />
<br />
I still have a facility for trousers, cuff links and a smart blazer after all. Yet another <b>Leopard</b> that cannot change spots. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Each of us, <b>Mrs. B.</b> and I, are accommodating “<i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Petra</b></i>” better here now than we did a year ago. I feel as though the year ahead holds even more promise of understanding, discovery and sharing than any year in the past. I most sincerely hope that you are feeling that way about your prospects too.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Happy New Year.</div>Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-82135591006881512542011-11-19T09:19:00.001-05:002011-11-20T15:23:46.116-05:00Chemistry<span style="font-size: large;">Excluding </span><a href="http://voyagesenrose.blogspot.com/2011/09/scc-after-words.html">SCC</a>, I have been out and about as <b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</span></b> only thrice this year. <i>Ouch</i>. Well, four times now as of last weekend. I did then rather enjoy things seen through pink lenses, and wrote <i>effusively</i> about the whole pretty pageant <a href="http://voyagesenrose.blogspot.com/2011/11/cross-dressers-exciting-3-way.html">here</a>. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Time has been the principal thief of opportunity. Work stuff is planted to rails of my metaphorical farm. The fallow, clovered pastures that <b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</span></b> did once flourish and frolic in are presently under plough, upturned and nitrogen fixed for commercial purposes. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I have come to think that <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">work</i></b>, the way I spend my days has a pretty big impact on my “<b style="color: #a64d79;"><i>Petra-ness</i></b>” beyond simply being a time soak. The impact is behavioral too. Like any job with grazzilions of dollars at stake, the day is composed of a fair amount of adversarial posturing, the odd volley of tactical aggression, and an always-present sense of wariness about things in general. You know, the generalized chest-beating, loud tree-top howling and Samsonite-hurling that corporate Great Apes conduct in the service of the business. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Women</b> can and <i>do</i> succeed in my role, in my industry, so the exercise of masculine traits is not a pre-requisite of success. A little more project nurturing<i> here</i>, a dose of quiet collegial grooming <i>there</i>, terrific female Great Ape behaviors, these work too. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL5OL4HdhtZH797pee-vQkEiJBoC8k3KataupeMLFuOwkBmQnFUreu6425ELKAI1M6uNQTuX_iWmeKvrrWjL0U63O8AwlqJSMoEEoljg6M_uFH0a2zI94Fykw1lnR8ceemMWSoDncpbOI/s1600/2011_11_12_Green_4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL5OL4HdhtZH797pee-vQkEiJBoC8k3KataupeMLFuOwkBmQnFUreu6425ELKAI1M6uNQTuX_iWmeKvrrWjL0U63O8AwlqJSMoEEoljg6M_uFH0a2zI94Fykw1lnR8ceemMWSoDncpbOI/s400/2011_11_12_Green_4.jpg" width="176" /></a>And ya know, <i>dear friends</i>, I am not proposing that one behavior or another is the exclusive domain of one gender or another. I am merely suggesting that having spent about 99% of my life expressing male, those are the behaviors I reflexively lay hand to under pressure. I call frequently on those traits in part because there is so much newness in the work that I need to rely on a lot of background processes, reflexive stuff to keep my higher mind available for the work.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And so “<i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Petra</b></i>” has been a little less available to the whole me just now.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Darling friend<b> Janie</b>, of <a href="http://cdjanie.wordpress.com/">CD Janie</a> blog-fame touched on a related topic recently in a series of short, revealing posts starting with <a href="http://cdjanie.wordpress.com/2011/10/29/inner-voice/">Inner Voice</a> deliberating on the process of going rapidly from femme-space to drab-world and back again. <i>Go read</i>. Janie is a star. Do come back then, will you?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">These posts struck a chord in me. It seems that while there is a certain amount of biology that manifests itself in the life of the gender-curious, there is a pretty big beaker of chemistry in the mix too. My brain chemistry, just now, is wired more for my familiar male life than it is for wonderful explorations of the less familiar, the more feminine. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I will tell you this though:<br />
<br />
Getting out for a gorgeous evening really has the effect of shaking that beaker up and generally catalyzing and effervescing things. I have spent this past week more distracted by thoughts of a dreamy nature than I have been in a good long time. I popped into a shop in drab mode and snared another gorgeous new outfit at a shocking price (pictured Harvest Gold Ann Taylor skirt for a dumbfounding $7.00, 8% of original retail and a smart top too). Chatted with the (typically) gorgeous sales assistant at length. She was in a sad state having just found out that she was on duty at Midnight, Thanksgiving Day for the increasingly insane rigors of Black Friday. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEgdneCU4CHBcMYZPfC_1Kl6b6fXtFN0svKpHASU2m_Tr7JjAWtElySpmr558UhD8OU4kjWKRfXEB5F2TtxhHEu_-zymOAMiFtoxce-F8Wi7cI03jgrwyTAW90sx7mFlodW4BqmlNEPSU/s1600/AT_gold+skirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEgdneCU4CHBcMYZPfC_1Kl6b6fXtFN0svKpHASU2m_Tr7JjAWtElySpmr558UhD8OU4kjWKRfXEB5F2TtxhHEu_-zymOAMiFtoxce-F8Wi7cI03jgrwyTAW90sx7mFlodW4BqmlNEPSU/s320/AT_gold+skirt.jpg" width="297" /></a></div>I wanted to touch her hand and say it will be ok more than I wanted to throttle the throat of the insensitive, short sighted lemming at HQ who thought that an upmarket woman’s boutique should follow in Wal-Mart’s less than stylish footprints. I drove home closer to the speed limit, leaving more room between me and the next vehicle, weaving less and exercising patience more. I found a tiny tributary of pretty thought to paddle around in and express in a product review for my friends at <a href="http://guilty-pleasures.org/big-words-about-itty-bitty-bra">Guilty Pleasures</a>.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Lovely things, lovely feelings. I hope that as more and more of my work becomes a little more reflexive to me, that I will have more room in my higher mind, room for<i style="color: #a64d79;"><b> Petra</b></i>. It feels good when this part of me has room to stretch out and touch things as surely and gracefully as she can. I suspect that, with time, I will be able to employ my fortunate access to wells of feminine strength and wile more easily, more purposefully in my everyday life. Better living through Chemistry indeed.</div>Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-56871683186782582532011-11-13T14:10:00.011-05:002011-11-13T14:56:28.609-05:00A Cross Dresser's Exciting Three Way<span style="font-size: large;">Shameful</span><i> really</i>, what some bloggers will put in a headline to juice traffic a little. For those of you expecting a salacious tale of bedroom acrobatics, well I am <b>not</b> that kind of girl. Take heart though, the internet was practically invented for you. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">For the rest of you, dear friends all, the <b>3 Way</b> refers to the mirror, or rather I should say <b>The Mirror</b>. A topic worthy of a long post, long even by my lax standards. Perhaps a pee break would be indicated now before you settle in for a read. You see, yesterday, <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Petra</b></i> curled her index finger and cast the rest of me a come-hither look that I had not the strength to ignore. So I (<i>we???</i>) went out last night and got in front of a few of them. Mirrors, that is.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I have blathered on here about how much of a high it is for me to be accepted in exclusively female environments – wig salons, shoe sale racks, the aestheticians counter at Macy’s, Nordstrom’s or what have you. Wonderful places where, freed from the presence of guys, women find their natural, unguarded selves, their truest voice. This is the voice I love best.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That voice can be found in the hushed, hopeful hall at the back of the shop, that well-lit warren of far-from-the-Office cubes, the runway of runaway shopping impulses, the <b>Fitting Room</b> area. First stop, <a href="http://www.dillards.com/" target="_blank">Dillard’s</a> at Atlantic Station for a quick run through their <b>BCBG Max Azaria </b>boutique. I have been lusting for some months now after a beguiling <a href="http://www.dillards.com/product/BCBGMAXAZRIA-FoilPrint-Skirt_301_-1_301_502539488?splashlink=header_wapparel">skirt</a> of the clingy, flashy variety pictured here. The gorgeous sales assistant pulled the last one from an off the beaten track rack when I described what I hadn’t found. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh yes! The foil skirt … we have one, hang on… yup, your size too!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And then disappointment as she toddled the trophy back to me … </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“O no! there is a tear in the waistband …”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I suggested that I should at least try it on for size, and think then about picking it up online.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh yes, you will love it, cute, <i>cute</i> <b><i>cute</i></b>…”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOZ3ZXpiUojLosxJThlttBFMptvURjIn1soW83E9uH13bfxCrb-u5Jt3k7xzCoH0FU9ih9A5zcoiTLJgUekfQGMZWlfhGpWFeMwo4-MKMJTX3cwKywX3V5F_mmj-2CIA2RAQG4voTSq-U/s1600/BCBG+Foil+skirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOZ3ZXpiUojLosxJThlttBFMptvURjIn1soW83E9uH13bfxCrb-u5Jt3k7xzCoH0FU9ih9A5zcoiTLJgUekfQGMZWlfhGpWFeMwo4-MKMJTX3cwKywX3V5F_mmj-2CIA2RAQG4voTSq-U/s320/BCBG+Foil+skirt.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>There is an invisible membrane between public shopping spaces and private changing places, a membrane that repels the fellows. I love passing through it.<br />
<br />
The door closes, the bag is hung, the jacket draped, something is peeled off and something new is pulled on. And if that something is not a total disaster, the 3 way calls. The Big Mirror down the hall. You see yourself walking towards it, running all the calculus, does it fit, what would I wear with it, is this really my silhouette, don’t I already own this ….?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">You will have quietly resolved the thousand questions by the time you step up on the small riser, strike a pose, look left and right, up and down, front and back with the one question left … is this my skirt (dress, blouse, jacket, etc…)?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“<b><i>Oh my God</i></b> but you rock that skirt … you like?”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Like? I<i> love</i> it (hands smoothing skirt, a little shimmy, knees together…), shame about the tear…”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“You know that must have come from some girl who had no chance of getting it past her knees. Honestly you would not <i>believe</i> what gets ruined before it even leaves the store”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Really? ,,, ouch ( reset the waistband, turn 90°, regard ass over right shoulder) … too too bad”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The second shop assistant walked in ..</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Uh huh, you like? … I thought it was too stiff for me….”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yes, <i>o yes</i> … ( hands on hips, standard female comic superhero stance)… <b>Love</b> it.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">More conversation of a similar ilk followed, I continued to flirt with the wounded skirt I knew I would leave behind, stripped down and dressed up again, waving so long. It wouldn’t be fishing if you struck every time you dropped a line I suppose…<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #e862a8;">-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span> </div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I went to drop a line down the road at <a href="http://www.anntaylor.com/">Ann Taylor</a>. The<i> Friends and Family 40%</i> off every loving stitch in the place sale was on last night. AT is always a top shopping experience for me. Quality, current, and classic, I believe that <b>AT</b> has the pulse of the maturing contemporary woman better than any other major retailer, at least in this part of the world. You would be mad to not be signed up for the email specials.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbhL78_R4awCqHLMRu3UbJ_pDNkahvNv67jRqLlD5rkVUEdO-lK3w4BIKHyEKZ2XGnBnlzyHM3enyx2ztNEFQBpI672ElTVVElw5mjFqAEBaZNNigDdLnznNtAh7K5Wx199jDkCck1Xek/s1600/Ann+Taylor+Glazed+Lace+Skirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbhL78_R4awCqHLMRu3UbJ_pDNkahvNv67jRqLlD5rkVUEdO-lK3w4BIKHyEKZ2XGnBnlzyHM3enyx2ztNEFQBpI672ElTVVElw5mjFqAEBaZNNigDdLnznNtAh7K5Wx199jDkCck1Xek/s320/Ann+Taylor+Glazed+Lace+Skirt.jpg" width="231" /></a></div>Love the shops too, wide open eye-lines, loads of space between the fixtures, none of that awkward butt-brushing, shoulder-to-shoulder rack rifling typical of most shops. <b>Ann Taylor</b> is just a stately place. And the fitting rooms? Bigger than many New York studio apartments. <i>Yummm</i>.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">After the usual “Welcome to Ann Taylor” salute from the staff and a slow wander / ponder about, the nice assistant asked if she could set a fitting room for me, relieving me of the rapidly building pile folded over my arm. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Thanks, of course. Let me see grab a couple of other things … see you there in a tick.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Take your time … I’ll just leave the twill slacks on your rooms door, ok?...”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">OK, indeed. I grabbed one more pair of slacks, asked for the stacked platform giraffe print bootie and retired to my private space. While changing the <i>tap-tap-tap </i>on the door heralded the arrival of my shoes, but you know it is ok to pull the door open in a half-dressed state here.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Here are the 8 ½’s, hope you like them!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Out to the long hall, prowling, dead center the length of the walk up to the riser, pretty much convinced that the pants were not for me and my fellow shopper hailed me with a nice smile …</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Give me a zip up please, would you?”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A dark complexioned woman, <i>nearly</i> dressed, early 30’s with stunning grey/blue eyes, a rare sighting of one of the universes most extravagant displays of beauty, gestured towards her back. The royal blue knit dress with the dropped waist was a little full on her to my eye as I fastened her in, but she was more concerned about the short hem.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“O no, the length is great. Opaque tights and you are fine. And the blue, o my god it makes your eyes just pop! I think it looks great, but you … you not convinced are you?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“I just don’t know. It is my color, but…. I don’t know….”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“I like the cut … it’s not for me though, I like a higher waist line..”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I helped her then with the unzipping, and we each retired to our private reserves. The style chit chat continued over the tall walls, and we both made a few forays back out to the racks trading views all the while. There were a couple of men there, attending their wives, fidgeting uncomfortably, privately wishing the Mayans would move the end of the world up a couple of months and just end it all, <i>now</i>. Not us girls. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I saw the skirt at the cash desk, opined that I liked it, hadn’t seen it in my size and asked did they have one for me? Yes they did, and I settled into the work of imagining a top for it. My new friend pointed at the ruffled cami and said that would work. That was not available in Petra dimension, but I did spot the glitter, metallic thread long sleeve crew neck that I thought might just work.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZpZ7sKfk1cB0LWLpPGcUFe8-uD3_gS43nENn8fTD-IrWx8IxE0d7p66JWIDwMCYuOkTGw_ggujy6T7CZ6bRT_drpGefIBKXUW5witiuHogu481EO7QQP_92hXcz08a6OrIYxyQk6mtMA/s1600/2011_11_12_Green_5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZpZ7sKfk1cB0LWLpPGcUFe8-uD3_gS43nENn8fTD-IrWx8IxE0d7p66JWIDwMCYuOkTGw_ggujy6T7CZ6bRT_drpGefIBKXUW5witiuHogu481EO7QQP_92hXcz08a6OrIYxyQk6mtMA/s400/2011_11_12_Green_5.jpg" width="152" /></a></div>I was completely on the scent now, arms and legs moving like a veggie dicer, off with old, on with the new, cinch the belt back on, and now triumphantly back to <b>The Mirror</b>. <i>Perfect</i>. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">She did not have to say a word, just smiled and nodded. She was in fact trying the same skirt on, truthfully to lesser effect. I felt it was simply too big on her.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“What size is it?” I asked.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Two”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Petite right?” (She is about 5’ 2” tops, and the skirt hit at knee where mine was right where I like, about three above the knee.)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“It has a lot of stretch to it dear (hands circling rump) Try the zero, it will work and you will feel soooo good about wearing a zero, admit it…”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“O god, you know me too<i> too </i>well… and that top, I would not have picked that … great outfit”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I was finished by now, and glowing even before I realized the bargains I had won. The <b>$130.00</b> skirt and the <b>$80</b> top for a mere <b>$58 </b>after all the markdowns.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I waved goodbye to my stylish sister, and waded back out into the evening air, into the wider unsuspecting and mostly uncaring world. I was armed against worry in part by the bag hanging from my shoulder, striding happily along the busy sidewalks, happy couples and lurking lads, everyone looking everyone else up and down, top to toe. Atlantic Station on a Saturday night is very much a place for people watching, and some did watch me. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I was particularly charmed by the young woman who dropped her boyfriend’s hand for a moment to touch my hot pink flared-waist jacket and tell me she loved it. I told her she was sweet and that I loved her hair. She gave me a quick hug and a wink and carried on down the road with her flummoxed fellow. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A short drive home, a glass of wine, the slow disrobing, the long shower, the many layers of exterior washed off, folded away, leaving the more familiar exterior surfaces of the guy visible. The interior things have a longer, deeper impact though, feeling it very much this morning. I revel in my privileges, and feel tuned up, in touch, at peace. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Simply had to share that with you today. Thanks for staying with me.<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #e862a8;">-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzUsrGV5V4ICXVFlEa3NVPeLyhQtFvcJuPFVkJwhasBp-jEOEvjgTacUHc3Zc7WDGflsQMiBe_5-lWDZcn__H68YJhKj-rvcp3uHdvjnb6zvHI_n3zLSweQZHEoEJJEsY2FuhGX7UnXCQ/s1600/Cecilia+De+Rafael+Lilac+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzUsrGV5V4ICXVFlEa3NVPeLyhQtFvcJuPFVkJwhasBp-jEOEvjgTacUHc3Zc7WDGflsQMiBe_5-lWDZcn__H68YJhKj-rvcp3uHdvjnb6zvHI_n3zLSweQZHEoEJJEsY2FuhGX7UnXCQ/s320/Cecilia+De+Rafael+Lilac+4.jpg" width="233" /></a></div>For those of you who are curious to read a little more about what is going in my fashion life, I have been busy as a beaver over at Guilty Pleasures. The audience there is a tad more … mainstream than you dear friends, but we all share an interest in the looks beneath that flatter the rest of the ensemble, and help us all feel as beautiful as we can.<br />
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I encourage you to visit often, and especially encourage you to check out the many fine vendors I have been delighted to work with. For the complete body of <b style="color: #741b47;">Petra Guilty Pleasures</b> essays, simply click <a href="http://guilty-pleasures.org/author/petra" target="_blank">here</a>. Recent posts include some terrific hosiery finds (including the wonderful <b style="color: #741b47;">Cecilia de Raphael’s</b>, pictured at right), and a wild, happy variety of all the pretty things a woman needs. <br />
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Happy shopping friends.</div>Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-66737975678031368742011-10-16T11:21:00.005-04:002011-10-16T15:33:31.409-04:00Lasting beauty and beauty for the renting<div class="MsoNormal"><b>Terribly butch</b> couple of weeks here on the domestic front.<i><span style="color: #741b47;"> Mrs. Bellejambes</span></i>, self and our checkbook are making up for recent years of laxity in matters of home maintenance. We are pretty much recovered from recent rigors of the installation of new flooring, the annual autumn prune-a-thon (including another grizzly battle in our no-end-in-sight <i>War on Wisteria<sup>®</sup></i>), and a fair old whack of exterior and deck painting too. Much of the work that requires actual skill was staffed out, <i>dear friends,</i> but <b>all</b> of it required a certain amount of heaving, grunting and sweating on my part. Not a pretty sight.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And then, late Friday night, close on bed time we heard a sound dreaded by homeowners, the near ballistic explosion and the subsequent demented rattling, sizzling cacophony signally a massive failure of garage door springs. It is an odd thing, I had not actually<i> heard</i> the sound before, but the very instant I did, in my PJ’s and at the other end of our home the following thought coursed through my mind:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“... well, that’ll be the garage and I wager that my Saturday is well and truly fucked.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And so it was. All is back in working order now, but my hands look a bit of crime scene, knuckles scraped and nicked, and not all of the gunk out from under the nails. Perhaps then, using those same hands to type out a note or two in<i style="color: #741b47;"><b> Petra</b></i> guise will help put a more feminine finish on things in general.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal">Back we go, therefore, a few weeks to my last outings.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Much of what one actually pays for at <a href="http://sccatl.org/">Southern Comfort</a> are the seminars. Measured this way, I did not get great value from my conference fees because of my schedule and my propensity to hang around bars for the chit-chat. I did however ensure that I had a good seat for <a href="http://www.facebook.com/monicaprata">Monica Prata’s</a> session “<i>Looking Sexy in Age Appropriate Fashions & Successful Shopping on Any Budget!</i>”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg45P1HExpBdyaLA1rfgfyYzsssyXF9AL8vq_KKPXFKaQyrgmYEZJ2Wco6hyphenhyphen8tQOELiP3r8QGYvkW2XuG-nvXawvFq-KwtBATcO4ngK7ffKoW9lo2xjJmVXuhZXsAH70KxxQwzA1spYYZ0/s1600/Monica+Petra+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg45P1HExpBdyaLA1rfgfyYzsssyXF9AL8vq_KKPXFKaQyrgmYEZJ2Wco6hyphenhyphen8tQOELiP3r8QGYvkW2XuG-nvXawvFq-KwtBATcO4ngK7ffKoW9lo2xjJmVXuhZXsAH70KxxQwzA1spYYZ0/s320/Monica+Petra+3.jpg" width="256" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal">I met with <b>Monica</b> briefly last year at <b>SCC</b>, and developed an instant crush. Some women just have the whole woman thing knocked out <i>so</i> perfectly that one wavers between wordless adoration and wistful sorrow at how far away from that elite zip code one lives. <b> </b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Monica</b> <i>has it</i>. And in a much more substantial way than all the glossy, shapely surfaces and finely tuned sense of style indicate. She is a Vesuvius of enthusiasm, really gorgeously alive, wired, colorful and compelling. And, O yeah, she works with special people, the likes of we. A tip of the pill box cap to the universe for this lovely gift.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In any event, <b>Monica’s</b> seminar was live audience participation “<i>do</i> this, and <i>good god girl</i>, do <b>NOT </b>ever under <b><u>any</u></b> circumstances do <b><i>that</i></b>" kind of material. A few brave and generous girls had dressed in some of the “<i>don’t</i>” looks to provide the packed room with living, breathing (gasping?) examples of fashion fails and fixes too. We spent time on shoes, and were cautioned against pointy toe pumps. You see, this sort of shoe, beloved of all,<i> does</i> make ones feet look a little larger than they actually are. Not the sort of feature the big boned <i><b><span style="color: #741b47;">Cross Dresser</span></b></i> really wants emphasize, I think we will agree. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Any girls in the room wearing pointy shoes?”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Guess whose hand shot proudly up? Come on down <b style="color: #741b47;"><i>Petra</i></b>! I scrambled up to the podium as Monica introduced me, asking me my shoe size.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“8 ½ darling”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Well friends, <i style="color: #741b47;"><b>Petra</b></i> is a lousy example. Once you get above 9 you are into trouble territory and should really consider rounded peep toes or open sandals. <i style="color: #741b47;"><b>Petra</b></i> can actually wear these … and I love the way she rocks the <a href="http://www.bcbg.com/store/shop-by-category/bottoms/ombre-power-skirt-30938.html">Ombre</a> skirt….’</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">My vanity was satisfied by the moment, but I did feel poorly about not providing full reinforcement of Ms. Prata’s curricula. Big hearted woman that she is, we remain friendly. For those of you who want to spend time with someone who will help you make what you have more wonderful than you have ever imagined, you could not do better. Look her up. She is based in San Fran, and has frequent travels to Chicago and New York in the service of making the world more beautiful, one curious person at a time. I can’t wait to see her again.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This is true in part because I do not think I will ever get my eyes looking so right as they did for Saturday nights gala dinner. I had high high hopes (and shoes to match) for the evening stemming in part from my shopping decisions. My own makeup skills were not going to rise to the occasion, and so I organized a little spa time with saintly Monica. Time well spent. Thanks darling, sincerely. I feel as though my peepers popped like never before. Beyond that, it is an entirely gorgeous experience just hanging around with you. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNQzpNWvuFaYjrD_FKfbLLM243Tn9-b9WhvLy46wdUJBnCLMTn19b9o-xVfngeTYL9FroSsZV-B58V8pxtdMJuR7LTDF8hWtEwf2cOPNND9RkR5TZj0QwdOh4jZZpQs6b91qnzF-0l_fE/s1600/Petra+Scarf+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNQzpNWvuFaYjrD_FKfbLLM243Tn9-b9WhvLy46wdUJBnCLMTn19b9o-xVfngeTYL9FroSsZV-B58V8pxtdMJuR7LTDF8hWtEwf2cOPNND9RkR5TZj0QwdOh4jZZpQs6b91qnzF-0l_fE/s400/Petra+Scarf+2.jpg" width="207" /></a>For the big evening, I had picked out a couple of party frocks from <b>Rent the Runway</b> (pictured on self at right, and on more poised models in prior posts <a href="http://voyagesenrose.blogspot.com/2011/09/petra-is-back-still-working-on-front.html">here</a>). <a href="http://www.renttherunway.com/">RTR</a> is a peak shopping experience. Loyal visitors here know that I <i>do</i> like a bit of shopping here and there, and this romp was a true topper. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The sapphire blue <b>Christian Siriano</b> color and feel was gorgeous, but felt to me just too simple a cut and finish for a gala night. I <i>am</i> glad to have slipped into it, and giddy that I peeled it off and tossed it dismissively on the bed, opting instead for the <b>Christian Cota</b>. A stretch silk blend in a shimmering copper tone, gathered and ruched in a thousand places, turning a tent worth of lifeless fiber into a clingy lighting rod of gorgeous sensation. Sweet merciful creation but I did feel a pang of loss when I put her back in the mailbox on Monday. Enjoy your life sweet, <i>sweet</i> dress, and know always that I love you more than all those other women that rent you.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTt-jhTCi92w5cy1OeuZpPVZdm4S74nLlTfS6G4v53M3dny5vpt5EjYL7ALRrld1m27MiyZ3lcNH3fEWs5PBmRnxzcLTVaJvNGRaX6OXumydzpqnWmR9UwYibkYTMGVdBwKx3MmffrvEE/s1600/Cota+Review.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTt-jhTCi92w5cy1OeuZpPVZdm4S74nLlTfS6G4v53M3dny5vpt5EjYL7ALRrld1m27MiyZ3lcNH3fEWs5PBmRnxzcLTVaJvNGRaX6OXumydzpqnWmR9UwYibkYTMGVdBwKx3MmffrvEE/s200/Cota+Review.jpg" width="200" /></a>I highly recommend the <b>Rent the Runway</b> experience if you are dressing for a special night out and if your finances are not precarious. The size range tends to stop at 12, so those of you possessed of a fuller figure may find yourselves thwarted at the checkout. With that said though, go ahead and sign up there for the email updates. It is worth it to spend a little time looking at what is current and beautiful. Lovely styles all around, interesting reviews (unflinchingly negative ones too in some cases… <b>RTR </b>really lets the reader participate in the business). Natural born journalist and consumer advocate that I am, of course I left a review. Spot the spelling error friends! I really must take better care. I do get a little gushy and rushed when writing about things I love. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Yes the dress fit like a glove, barely room for an impure thought beneath lustrous surfaces and my own ample padding. She is captured, in her natural environment, at a party in close proximity to a glass of wine and a smiling, happy womanly form. The scarf is a smart finishing touch borrowed from a dinner companion, Beatrice, who upon hearing of my fondness for savage animal prints insisted on an accessory fix and a quick snapshot. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">When time allows, I will be back here to leave a note or two on the topic of some of the lovely people one can meet when dressed appropriately. Beyond the seminars, this is where the <i>real </i>value of <b>Southern Comfort</b> is.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Happy dressing and everything else in the meantime!</div>Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-43660969591437549552011-10-02T14:14:00.001-04:002011-10-02T14:16:03.678-04:00About Time<b>It is no</b> small matter of pride, <i>dear friends</i> that I am able to present as female pretty much as well coming out of the long summer months of hibernation as I did before going in. The fashion flare remains intact, the make-up skills do not rust much and my walk works and struts with the same seismic intensity it had when I parked it way back in springtime of this year. My leg conditioning, however, was miles behind the rest of me. After three high altitude, pinched toe days at<b> SCC</b> my thighs, calves and hooves were in a state of outright mutiny.<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"> </span><br />
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<b>Napoleon Bonaparte</b> was reputed to have said that an Army marches with its stomach. <b style="color: #741b47;">Petra</b> is here to tell you that a <i>Tranny</i> marches with her feet. I have a long, happy and cool autumn winter season ahead of me now, and put myself back in stiletto trim. In the meantime, I will find and share this clichéd solace: <i>no pain, no gain</i>.<br />
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Enough of the pain then. Let us move on now to gains which net out to this: I got to be <i><b style="color: #741b47;">Petra </b></i>… Panavision, Technicolor, Dolby, THX, IMAX, Blu-Ray <b><i><span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span></i></b>, my happy <b>34B</b> self in a fully immersive <b>3D</b> world for days at a time. I don’t know about you friends, but <b><i>I </i></b>really have missed me. It is good to be back. So many good things absent and unnoticed in the general busy-ness of the drab day-to-day. <br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">I won’t dive into specifics here today with you. That will wait for another tide of time. For now, I have a bit of a reverie on <b>time</b> itself for you.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I have missed taking my time, sweet patient time, the time required to unearth <b><i><span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span></i></b> from beneath my more broadly known and gruff exterior. So much of what passes for progress in my day to day life is done by brute force, volume over value, donkey-work and doggedness in pursuit of keeping pace with or perhaps even a step ahead of the needs of the now. <b><i><span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span></i></b> however cannot be rushed. <b><i><span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span></i></b> requires forethought and finesse. <b><i><span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span></i></b> gets coaxed into the light. No amount of pushing or shoving helps. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">God, but it takes time to become <i style="color: #741b47;"><b>Petra</b></i>, and the expense of time underlines just how precious time is.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizmfTHxbM0SsZ4k4-EVfprGpahCqx4Op19Vx6SEDh0gETbEx7y8iNuXuJ3Yky1d3DmsgJmZr9yGos5YdKh631hvRvcJXFhwdrYGR99LEEyk42W4CGG3H2s4Saxwv_afaehyphenhyphenzU2kUiKSPU/s1600/lace+top+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizmfTHxbM0SsZ4k4-EVfprGpahCqx4Op19Vx6SEDh0gETbEx7y8iNuXuJ3Yky1d3DmsgJmZr9yGos5YdKh631hvRvcJXFhwdrYGR99LEEyk42W4CGG3H2s4Saxwv_afaehyphenhyphenzU2kUiKSPU/s400/lace+top+2.jpg" width="145" /></a>Time is required to conduct the breathtaking archeology of transition, the adding of layers, sediments and shrouds, to reveal the person within.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Time is required to compose the elements of shape, color and scent, to orchestrate a harmonious whole.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Time is required, time to pause, breath and measure, time to not madly dash forward, time to be sure of the next step and the step beyond that one.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Time for the trivia too, are my keys in the purse, is the hair fixed just so, stop now before the lip line and gloss, did I brush my teeth since dawn?... good god I will be speaking with people after all, and look at you not a ring on your fingers, better set that right and slowly too. Be calm, move slowly, stay dry dear. The whole world is out there now, you can lock the door behind you and go out into it now, alert, attenuated and receptive.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">No matter that I have been aching to be out, present and presenting as<b><i><span style="color: #741b47;"> Petra</span></i></b> forever now, stillness is required to do this fully and correctly. A stillness that I have not reflexively sought in the rest of my rushed everyday time.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
I propose that the qualities of stillness, patience and mindfulness required to <i>be</i> <b><i><span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span></i></b> are very much the same qualities required to recall and <b><i>write</i></b> about those precious moments, minutes and hours. Or about anything else I suppose.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Since going back into a corporate setting in January of this year, I have missed that stillness. Not much room for considered, conscious receptivity to the moment with all the milestones to meet and millstones to carry. I have known at some level that this change in the nature of my days would be a price of the work I took on. It has, however, taken the time required last week to be immersed in the life of <b><i><span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span></i></b> to actually have benchmark against which to measure how far away from stillness I typically live.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It has felt good, great in fact, to be <b><i><span style="color: #741b47;">Petra</span></i></b> again. It’s about time too in more ways than one. Time to not be rushed, time to coax rather than cudgel, to persuade, to not push and shove. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Wardrobe and words, make-up and metaphor each require time, time I do need to catch up on a little. Looking forward to it. Thanks for spending your time here.<br />
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</div>Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-20890350729634468412011-09-27T21:14:00.003-04:002011-09-27T22:45:56.414-04:00SCC After Words<div class="MsoNormal"><b>The fragrant</b> dust of the 21<sup>st</sup> <a href="http://sccatl.org/">Southern Comfort Conference</a> has been settling a few days now, and I feel a little more certain of being able to <i>start</i> to tell you all about it. I cannot promise a great post here, dear friends. I am as much out of practice at blogging as I have been, until quite recently, at spending long hours in tall pumps. Nothing for it but to start and try, yes? On we go therefore.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Roughly 850 registered attendees (including a surprising 450 first timers) gathered with countless supportive friends and family, and a vibrant number of peripheral participants at Atlanta’s Crowne Plaza’s Perimeter for what I believe to be the largest <b>Transgender</b> conference known to man, woman and everyone somewhere in between last week. I was able to extract myself from work long enough to enjoy a good part of Thursday, much of Friday and practically every loving moment of Saturdays glamorous finale <i style="color: #741b47;"><b>en Femme</b></i>. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A mad gusher of posts emerged from my first visit to <b>SCC</b> last year, which you may find <a href="http://voyagesenrose.blogspot.com/2010/09/i-will-start-dear-friends-with-trivia.html">here</a>, <a href="http://voyagesenrose.blogspot.com/2010/09/scc-purse-contents-actual-and.html">here</a> and ooooh, I can barely reach it .. just over <a href="http://voyagesenrose.blogspot.com/2010/09/i-know-you-are-but-what-am-i-scc-part-3.html">here</a>. The Sophomore visit, with so many elements and sensations so familiar, leaves fewer themes to exploit. Some things need mentioning though, and the important ones have to do with gratitude.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I have spent many years attending conferences of many types over long decades, and must tell you this: <b>SCC</b> runs a tight ship. Not an easy thing to make the <i style="color: #741b47;"><b>trans</b></i> run on time darlings, and dammit but they do. Hats off to <b>Lexi</b>, her Committee Chairs, and the 100 or so volunteers who just put their backs in to a big piece of work. A special call out is due to <b>Blake Alford</b> whose tribute in words and pictures to <b>Transgendered </b>soldiers, sailors and aviators past and present was without doubt for me the most stirring moments of a great event.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiou5etraV48414vC8XcdPzzyFFQyvGcPt9FQU_AZGAxwxV8uX4TpiVBxRqgZBbZ6fBy-ILUTeFzuOzZTkA826YVyK1HM0gMmpIffqMFrtprfVUmLt3xL4Kqb4hwTb3K84IalZNA-am2bw/s1600/smile+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiou5etraV48414vC8XcdPzzyFFQyvGcPt9FQU_AZGAxwxV8uX4TpiVBxRqgZBbZ6fBy-ILUTeFzuOzZTkA826YVyK1HM0gMmpIffqMFrtprfVUmLt3xL4Kqb4hwTb3K84IalZNA-am2bw/s400/smile+1.jpg" width="265" /></a>Close in the stirring moments parade came Friday evening at a commitment ceremony for four beautiful couples, amongst them dear friends <b>Cindy</b> and <b>Joanne</b>, both radiant in white. Such a privilege to witness such an open, loving embrace of all the differences an individual can bring to and enlarge a home with. I missed the tossed bouquet by mere inches.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">These moments were however eclipsed in the few hours that <b>Mrs. Bellejambes</b> was able to spend with my sisters, brothers and I. Again, I am thankful for much. I hope a fraction of that feeling shows in this picture.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">More ponderings to follow as time allows. Let me leave you with a finishing thought:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">If, in your journey, you have not enjoyed the luxury of time spent with people with whom you share a difference, you should. Put your spare change in a big jar. Mark your calendars. Visit Atlanta next year for <b>Southern Comfort</b>. You might catch the bouquet yourself.<br />
<br />
See you here.</div>Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-47764228779507781252011-09-21T20:29:00.001-04:002011-09-21T20:30:18.637-04:00Petra is back. Still working on the front.<b style="color: #741b47;"><span style="font-size: large;">Voyages en Rose</span></b> has been exhibiting a very faint and irregular heartbeat of late. Seven posts in eight months, a lamentable showing. Circumstances have conspired however to shake me out of the doldrums and provided some newish feminine fodder, <i>Dear Reader</i>, for pondering and prosing on about. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The recent loss of our friend <b>Ramona</b> certainly brought things into focus. Beyond that, well <a href="http://sccatl.org/">SCC</a> is in full gear by now. Hooray! I am very much looking forward to participating, starting tomorrow evening, to giving long overdue air time to this other, integral part of me. If you are attending, please reach out or drop a note in the comments section here. It is a wonderful thing to meet blog friends in the flesh, yes? That’ll be me perched on a tall stool or teetering on tall heels where the nice people fix cocktails.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">There will in short, be much to write about over the next few days, weeks and months. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMPpt_sbqwcyxRqSTvCvI_-Qsagm3maKZMqwSqxcTguvYNmz4Eq9pXqr28AsLKo4jov1dGdkrMmxs-PMxyfjVU2SP_cK369-QoTDEBhGqHtLZVPRXo2REOorzL08wItEDBjkhE4RsMEZo/s1600/Cota+Silk+Sensation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMPpt_sbqwcyxRqSTvCvI_-Qsagm3maKZMqwSqxcTguvYNmz4Eq9pXqr28AsLKo4jov1dGdkrMmxs-PMxyfjVU2SP_cK369-QoTDEBhGqHtLZVPRXo2REOorzL08wItEDBjkhE4RsMEZo/s400/Cota+Silk+Sensation.jpg" width="143" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal">The wardrobe made the migration from attic to its more airy and organized closets in <i style="color: #741b47;">la Chambre de Petra</i>. I did a rather thorough audit of this and that, and am alarmed to note that a few of my more clingy skirts are rather stressed at the seams. Borderline <i>un</i>seemly in fact. I have, it seems, lost a tooth or two in my metabolic machinery, and put on a little curve. Ravages of time I suppose, and approaching 50 as I am, well it is to be expected. In fairness, this a long time coming. I am suitably warned. It is time for me to be more mindful of lifestyle. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I will be forming a relationship with a consignment shop shortly I fear. In the meantime I will be on the lookout for skinny girls at our conference in the hopes of finding a more suitable hostess for some pretty things that deserve to be worn well. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Life has not been without writing from my adoptive female perspective though. Many of you know that I have been doing the odd product review or fashion editorial for a special friend, Ally, the proprietress of <a href="http://guilty-pleasures.org/">Guilty Pleasures</a>. Ally has been a wonderful source of insight and support. I am quite proud and really quite giddy about the reality that I can and do write with authority about the most intimate fashion category, intimates. Every now and then a smart parcel from a terrific vendor shows up in the mail, and I do my best to find accurate, engaging and honest words about the bras or knickers or tights contained therein. Life is full of surprises. My drawers runneth over. If you haven’t visited, please do. <a href="http://guilty-pleasures.org/author/petra">Here</a> is a link to the collected works of your <i>faux fashionista</i> friend. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPpxFZa2_LKhKTj46q5rqm3idUAYJkMrU6IK_EiqtPcDAMyScIj0PP_biseCUV8cqnlSgdmlDiy0hFA_2qwROd5QtKSTwo67Crr-oBfjwn29WtEMs05sp52FzyyT-PW19keRDqkrccp3c/s1600/Siriano+Sapphire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPpxFZa2_LKhKTj46q5rqm3idUAYJkMrU6IK_EiqtPcDAMyScIj0PP_biseCUV8cqnlSgdmlDiy0hFA_2qwROd5QtKSTwo67Crr-oBfjwn29WtEMs05sp52FzyyT-PW19keRDqkrccp3c/s400/Siriano+Sapphire.jpg" width="151" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal">Also on the fashion front, I splashed out a little on the weekend on a vendor whose business model and fashion sense has had me drooling in recent months. <a href="http://www.renttherunway.com/">Rent the Runway</a> is thriving online enterprise where a gal on a budget can take temporary possession of a serious party frock for a fractional fee. Tomorrow, a big box of beauty arrives. There is no godly or ungodly way I could <b><i>ever</i></b> justify spending $1,000 ++ on a dress. I <i>can</i> justify the $140 rental expense though. More than this, I have decided that I cannot afford to go without the experience of wearing a truly wonderfully made, current piece of serious pret-a-porter at least once in this life. My little heart is going pitter pat in anticipation.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The <b style="color: #741b47;">Christian Cota</b> (top) will be sported at Saturday’s Dinner Gala, and I plan on slithering into the blue <b style="color: #741b47;">Christian Siriano</b> to attend a wonderful Commitment ceremony at <b>SCC</b>. There will be a good number of couples renewing vows, and celebrating enduring love on Friday. I will be especially happy and honored to see <b>Cindy</b> and <b>Joanne P</b> take new vows. Hopefully the mascara will hold. These will be special nights, deserving of a little extra care and preening. I will surely share notes on the experience and other findings from the life <i style="color: #741b47;">en Femme</i> here shortly.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Happy dressing, and happy everything else wished your way.</div>Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-40625992603035977732011-09-18T13:31:00.001-04:002011-09-18T13:32:32.876-04:00Passing<div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: large;">Dear</span></i> Friends,</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">First things first. All is well, genuinely so.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The genuinely good things will get only scant mention in this post though. I must share some sad news before all of that. The good things will follow not far behind this entry. All of you with whom I am close, and for those quiet, anonymous and not-known-by-name-to-me visitors may be fully assured that <b>Petra</b> has a bit of happy chatter in reserve. I am anxious in fact to unpack findings from my annual<span style="color: #a64d79;"> </span><i style="color: #a64d79;">Summer Drabbatical</i>, and sort them out here. I sense that the muse is back upon me. Thank you all for your patience in my absence. And now, as some say, to cases…</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The last post on <b style="color: #a64d79;">Voyages en Rose</b> in May of this year mentioned a lovely visit with a very important person in my life, <b>Ramona</b>.<b> Ramona</b> passed away on September 1, after a valiant, inspiring and always hopeful battle with a determined foe. Would you mind if I shared a few thoughts with you? </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I found<b> Ramona</b> at the time my life that I decided to unlock and take full possession of the contents of my own Pandora’s Box. I had long decades of closely guarded curiosity and compulsion about gender behind me and a furtive future ahead. I had an awkward assortment of garments to my name, and a handful of public sorties <b style="color: #a64d79;"><i>en Femme</i></b> that were not complete disasters to claim. The taste of honey felt worse than none at all. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4MRcnHfUPci8kNf779YCmq-mxXC8yyku1Vsbi_NEgjMjB1AX_aMn_tTorsFkJW1at4_yn7tMQYC8ns15tktgOQ1_6YYUeUA_e_RwuX8Jf98vsOO9-bwqjnzTlAO4mybZuPhv_LRkRf1c/s1600/ramona.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4MRcnHfUPci8kNf779YCmq-mxXC8yyku1Vsbi_NEgjMjB1AX_aMn_tTorsFkJW1at4_yn7tMQYC8ns15tktgOQ1_6YYUeUA_e_RwuX8Jf98vsOO9-bwqjnzTlAO4mybZuPhv_LRkRf1c/s320/ramona.gif" width="114" /></a>And so I called <b>Ramona</b>. And so everything changed.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Ramona</b> had, through a seemingly random series of connected events, caromed into the business of helping people like me become acquainted with their inner woman. And my, but she was <i>good</i>. I spent a lovely evening in her care, and for the first time in my life, stepped convincingly out on the town. I cannot describe adequately the impact this had on me. The impact was visible on my surfaces yes, but the internal impact was the thing, the <i>real</i> thing. Tectonic forces shifted the continental plates of my whole self, fertile new plains of undiscovered land emerged, enlarged, virgin and fertile, ripe for exploration.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That exploration unearthed within me a much happier person, much better prepared for understanding and living within a complex and challenging world.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That exploration helped me develop the character to share with my wife truths that I did not have the character to share 17 years earlier when we first met, courted and agreed to be each others everything.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And not trivially, that exploration provided me with experience that was too big, too rich and too damned vivid to not write about. Much of that experience has been documented here on<b><span style="color: #c27ba0;"> <span style="color: #a64d79;">Voyages en Rose</span></span></b> over the last three years in something north of 200,000 words in 227 posts. 340 pages of 10pt thoughts not counting the smoldering 10X heap of deleted detritus and still-borne simile.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I had long harbored suspicions that I could tell a story but felt as though the risks of working at the craft and failing were higher than the potential payoff of working at it, failing at it, and working again. Becoming “<b style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</b>”, I slid into a protective authorial prophylactic that shielded me (the broadly known me that is) from the full weight of those risks. And so I wrote, at a slight remove from responsibility.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The work of writing became a part of my emerging life. It then seeped into the rest of my life. White papers, commercial copywriting here and there, deeper more convincing thinking on the numbers that my clients businesses ran on. Words for money. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">By late last year I had leveraged this newly found confidence and attracted an agent. I was offered a good contract to ghost a book for a notable executive on subject matter I had enough familiarity with to ghost well. At this exciting moment, a more sure and certain path opened up; a staff position in a less creative role with my biggest client. I opted for the staff position and returned the book contract. No great or at least permanent loss in my view. The path I am on will allow me to commit to independent creative efforts in a few years. I should have an adequately plump cushion beneath the high wire and my semi-retiring arse by then.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I have <b>Ramona</b> to thank for this entirely unexpected and exciting possibility. I have much else to thank her for, but of all of her gifts and her splendid friendship, this stands out.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And you, <i>Dear Reader</i>, if you feel your times here have been well spent, a quiet salute skyward might be indicated just now. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In her last year, <b>Ramona</b> found the company of a remarkable partner, <b>Gabrielle</b>. <b>Ramona</b> was giddy, girly, head-over-heels besotted for <b>Gabrielle</b>. What a privilege <b>Ramona</b> enjoyed. Her best times came as her last times.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Gabrielle</b> stands now as the principal keeper of <b>Ramona’s</b> memories. There is a long line of people flanking <b>Gabrielle</b>, all touched and changed in ways great and small by the happy accident of finding <b>Ramona</b>. Finding her, and is so doing, finding themselves.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Ramona</b> had never been much of church going lady, but this past spring, at <b>Gabrielle’s </b>urging, the two of them popped on smart Easter bonnets, attended a service at Atlanta’s <a href="http://firstmcc.com/">First Metropolitan Community Church</a> and were welcomed with open arms. <b>Gabrielle</b> had been raised, like so many Southerners, in a praise community, and wanted very much to find a place where the best parts of this tradition could be expressed joyfully and freely. More than this, she wanted to share the peace she knew could be found in the best of these places with the most important person in her life.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbQAxct091BoyBKh4_rbu7ugZavhVrdx-K7eL0UJn3OsMYmPIUfOJsfOigpkyCjhd3un4iXWbYp_GRY79dY2LBoKfoZ2jgEIOdiAbQB5SF9hHHxxS2p2-X3-LrpVNGGhJCLICDn0tEM4k/s1600/leopard_1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbQAxct091BoyBKh4_rbu7ugZavhVrdx-K7eL0UJn3OsMYmPIUfOJsfOigpkyCjhd3un4iXWbYp_GRY79dY2LBoKfoZ2jgEIOdiAbQB5SF9hHHxxS2p2-X3-LrpVNGGhJCLICDn0tEM4k/s320/leopard_1.gif" width="129" /></a><b>Ramona</b> surprised herself, and me when she spoke about how much it meant to her to find and be welcomed by this community. When she faltered, they rallied to her side, held vigil and held hands with <b>Gabrielle</b> and others close to <b>Ramona</b> at the end. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Many gathered last Sunday, September 11 for a memorial service at FMCC. The choir sang. The piano rang. Moving tributes were paid. Many of us did our best to present in a way that would have made Ramona proud. She loved animal prints, and so I opted for the leopard sheath that I had worn on one happy day of shopping with her what now seems like forever ago, yesterday or so. I chronicled that day <a href="http://voyagesenrose.blogspot.com/2009/11/less-talk-more-walk.html">here</a>. Ramona in fact took this picture, and then threatened me with the silent treatment if I did not stop dithering about which perfect skirt I would buy already. We had a busy day ahead after all.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Mrs. Bellejambes</b> attended the service with me. When I told her of the loss and the plans for the memorial, without blinking she asked to attend. She never met <b>Ramona</b>, but recognized that an important person in our shared life had passed, and wanted to mark the moment with me. We will visit <b>FMCC</b> again, together. A final, parting gift into our home from an absolutely gifted woman. A woman I will miss dearly.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">See you again here shortly.</div>Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-43630940120482296902011-05-22T14:44:00.002-04:002011-05-22T14:58:06.420-04:00Me, Women, and The Other Woman<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>The thermometer</b> in Atlanta is cresting 90f (<i>33ish</i> for friends of the Metric persuasion). The population of <b style="color: #a64d79;">Casa Bellejambes</b> has swelled to a seasonal high with welcomed overseas visitors. My precious wardrobe has migrated to attic, summering privately away from our hustle and bustle for the dormant months. It is a sad ritual, the careful folding and hanging, the last look over the shoulder and, with a slight push on the door, the official end of the dressing season.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I did manage a last fling <b style="color: #a64d79;">en Femme</b> a couple of weeks ago, happy in tan faux-denims, a riotously colored blouse and a light ruffled collar and cuff jacket though, and it did me a small world of good. The same outfit from an earlier amateur solo photo session is pictured here. So nice to be able to take a short visit with a dear friend, enjoy a glass of wine, pound out a few chords on a beautiful piano and just generally occupy a sympathetic social space. I visited with the woman who really catalyzed my journey and was mid-wife at the birth of <b style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</b>, the loving and very skilled transformation artist <a href="http://www.exploreyourfeminineside.com/">Ramona</a>. If you find yourself anywhere near Atlanta, and feel the urge to dress, I encourage you to reach out to her. I did, back in the day, to great and lasting benefit as earliest posts <a href="http://voyagesenrose.blogspot.com/2008/11/petra-seeks-professional-help.html">here</a> and <a href="http://voyagesenrose.blogspot.com/2008/11/petra-gets-polished-by-pro.html">here</a> testify. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBYh6pWcK7ql6mYTSfQITDyNTkIzxzSd5n7KQWu8ZkEpjRCL1dt9z5mDGCgFMFWFTA-6mBhvfMQfBZVJ8x5yx9AfGMp_7eKTsp2yCt7vp0u2IfPhjM8BxkCoJeISHcAHiCvt8wTm7XvdA/s1600/tan_slacks_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBYh6pWcK7ql6mYTSfQITDyNTkIzxzSd5n7KQWu8ZkEpjRCL1dt9z5mDGCgFMFWFTA-6mBhvfMQfBZVJ8x5yx9AfGMp_7eKTsp2yCt7vp0u2IfPhjM8BxkCoJeISHcAHiCvt8wTm7XvdA/s640/tan_slacks_3.jpg" width="229" /></a><span style="font-size: small;">Since the recent evening out, I have stormed a shop or two in guy mode and picked up a couple of nice new pieces in anticipation of the cooler days and smoother legs of autumn. The appetite for a good sale remains ravenous even as the thirst for dressing seems more or less quenched. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">My apprenticeship at being womanly in the world has radically changed my view of how the world works for women, and works against women. <b style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</b> is very present in my day to day things even while her wardrobe is tucked away. Let me tell you here about <b style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</b> at the office.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I work very closely with a woman who represents my key vendor. We both have the same broad objective: move large truckloads of product profitably through my network of partners. It is a cooperative, strategic relationship, but there <b><i>is</i></b> money at stake for both parties and so the relationship is inherently fraught with tension. Getting along on a personal level helps reduce tension, and makes it easier to represent my narrow business interests. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">At least once a week I hear something said in a meeting or on a conference call in the strange, foreign and exclusive language of guys. I can practically see the references flying over or bouncing off her pretty head. In prior times I took little notice at just how desperately the vapid lexicon of commerce leans on sports metaphor. Especially noticeable is the uniquely obtuse and impenetrable claptrap of American football. The campaign failed because we <i>out kicked the coverage</i>. We miss opportunities for market expansion by advancing the ball in<i> i-formation</i>. A strategic prospective client gave the <i>Heisman</i>. This language is now jarring to me. After the meeting, and sometimes employing a white board as a learning aid, I take a moment with her to decipher the code. She eats up this stuff. I am a trusted adviser.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">How about travel? We had a three city tour some weeks back with the usual mad dashes between hotels, car rental counters, airport security checks and long walks on unforgiving tiles and moving sidewalks. I entirely understand why her bags are heavier and why luggage gets checked. And shoes? I have done the calculations that go into footwear choices not perfectly suited for the rigors of the day. I used to think of women as being poorly equipped to keep pace with me. I now think of airports as simply being poorly designed.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">You see, my calves have felt sore, and my toes have been pinched. I know just how much a skirt can restrict the stride and slow the pace. I have vainly attempted to pull a buzzing cell phone from purse while hauling a bag, fearful of popping a blouse button or two. My pace now changes to accommodate these newly seen realities. I slow down and holster my impatience while in the company of my sisters.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It seems to go both ways. It feels as though I am approached by women a little differently, a little more easily, less guardedly. Quiet, inconsequential confidences are shared. I know more about the personal lives of women I work with just a few months into my newish work than I have known after years together in other settings. I see an ease in the body language and general comfort level of the women around me. When I say “you look great today”, I get a nice smile in return, and sometimes an editorial comment about what a steal the dress was or relief that somebody thinks it is office appropriate. In my more testosterone drenched years such compliments seemed to put people on agenda alert.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I can only conclude that having lived for hours and days at a time as a woman has made me a better man. A man who gets along better with women. Happy to report that, in much of my world, <b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</span></b> is integrated, welcomed and essential.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">And yet, where it counts the most, <b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</span></b> remains <i><b>The Other Woman</b></i>. Here at home. Apologies, dear friends, for the downer note, but it must be said. <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Mrs. Bellejambes </b></i>and myself have not made any progress with growing or really sharing the external life of <b style="color: #a64d79;">Petra</b>. This is all difficult, and more so for my darling wife than I. Can’t fault her in the slightest. All of my fine print written in invisible ink. She might not have signed the contract otherwise. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">While I enjoy the complexity, she wrestles with complication. Where I see reward, she feels risk. And when, on those occasions where I have stood before her in my most womanly form, deep within she must be crying out for a strong hug from her man.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I know quite fully that this leopard will not change its spots (and you know of course how much I adore a nice leopard print), but I <i>do</i> wish for my wife that she had been dealt a simpler hand. I could not wish to be different than I am, there is too much wonder and beauty within to not nurture. Good thing, methinks, that I have learned to slow down and holster my impatience. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Happy times are wished your way.</span></div>Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-90255086993448719742011-04-09T15:40:00.002-04:002011-04-09T15:47:41.330-04:00Now, where was I?<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Enlivened as</span> I have been by a recent flurry of correspondence and some long overdue quality time spent on precious and dearly missed blogs I am newly pondering a couple of questions:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Just what do you make of a<span style="color: #c27ba0;"> <b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Cross Dresse</span></b></span><b><span style="color: #a64d79;">r</span></b> who is neither <i><b>cross</b></i> or<i><b> dressing</b></i>?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Just what do you make of a <b>Blogger</b> without a post to lean on?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Perhaps an answer will emerge an uncharted paragraph or two south hereof, but the contours our findings are not yet in sharp enough relief to provide any certainty. Certainty is a little dull for my tastes though, and usually illusory too, so join me, my dears, for a random romp through things in general.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Let us start with the whole blogging bit. Many of us, bloggers of allsorts, view this labor as therapeutic. Therapy is intended to attain happy conclusions at <i>some</i> point. If not, perhaps the<i> analysand</i> is working with the wrong <i>analyst</i>. There must come a moment when the patient and physician look at each other a little blankly, declare victory and move a little awkwardly on.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b style="color: #a64d79;">Voyages en Rose</b> managed to keep lively for a little more than two years which, as I look at the ebb and flow of blogs I follow, seems like a median life expectancy. For me, late last year I found neurons not alight and fingers hesitant at the keyboard. Seams of thought formerly rich with gems of observation and sensation yielded poorly, more gravel and less gold. Been there, done that made gains on the delight and delirium of discovery. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">What I have written and posted here is a very real treasure for me, and, in its way, a complete one. I am happy to say therefore that I do not feel a <i>duty</i> to add to the blog. Relieved in fact. It has taken quite a while and a lot of distraction to become happily indifferent to my traffic statistics, and accustomed to an absence of life giving comments from dear readers. But I have.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I do miss the achievement of writing though. Much of this I put down to what has been for me a big discovery about the nature of time and task in a corporate setting. My new work requires parallel attention to multiples of concerns where before I was processing things in a more or less serial manner. I find that this fatigues the mind, or at least draws down the reserves of creativity I employed to fuel fits of productivity here. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">This is an unexpected thing. Still, I am happy with the trade-off, comforted by the knowledge that I can and will at some point willingly (or otherwise, frog-marched out of the building with a cardboard box in hand) go back to my old lifestyle with the bank account fattened enough for autumns and winters of hoped-for decades of graceful aging and indulgent prosing.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">So,<i> happy</i> as opposed to <i>cross</i>. <b>Good outcome</b>.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Now, about the <b><i style="color: #a64d79;">dressing</i></b>. Nothing conclusive really. It warms up early here in the heart of Dixie. Shorts are a required element of the masculine wardrobe. I am not a competitive Triathlete and therefore have no easy peg to hang clean shaven legs on. To paraphrase Sir Elton, the thatch is back. Bit of a fashion buzz kill I think we can all agree. Yes, I could go with slacks and a blousy top, but the trowelling of concealer shows much like pine pollen on parked cars in the warmth here. Summer’s heat cools my ardor quite typically, and this year is no different. Just a little more pronounced. This absence of urge to dress does not surprise me greatly.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I <i>did</i> work from home one day this week though, and spent a few hours in a favorite dress. This felt wonderful. Nicely natural, all the pleasant, special differences of feel and movement and appearance. Visitors here of the full time female variety know this to be true: It<i><b> is</b></i> a treat to wear a pretty dress. To stand a little taller in well made shoes. Everyone else who visits here knows this too I presume. As for people who don’t share our enthusiasms, well, I simply don’t know what they are<i> not</i> thinking.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">To each of us our own delights I suppose. Perhaps time away from our delights makes them all the more flavorful when we taste them again. For me, I suspect that I will belly up to the style buffet again at the <a href="http://sccatl.org/">Southern Comfort Conference</a> in September here in Atlanta. Perhaps we will meet there. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Here, <i style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Chez Bellejambes</b></i> we will be hosting house guests soon. This will necessitate a certain amount of shifting of garments from guest room closets to the dark and lonely confines of the attic. There are hues and silhouettes in my wardrobe from precincts miles away from <b style="color: #a64d79;"><i>Mrs. Bellejambes'</i></b> style sweet spots. Best to get them out of sight, if not entirely out of mind.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Which brings me to matters of the mind, where I will leave off for now. I will want to share with you some observations on just how the periodic transformations of my exteriors have more permanently transformed the workings of my interiors. This is a big topic that I feel deserves its own dedicated and well lit runway. I promise to lean into that post over the next week or two.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I will sign off today with genuine affection for and thanks to you, dear reader for your time here today, and in the past. Today, somewhere, elsewhere, somebody is freshly committed to giving their gender journey a name, a URL, and the sweat of their pretty brow. There is a gifted voice writing fresh and compelling stuff to dazzle and cheer the likes of we. Go find those new gems. Drop me a line when you spot one, would you?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Affectionately and thankfully yours, </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Petra </div>Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8836498847560872101.post-6646843056479959112011-02-13T16:49:00.002-05:002011-02-13T16:52:10.476-05:00Easy as falling off a blog<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><i><b><span style="font-size: small;">In the last</span></b></i> few years, I have embraced two pretty radical changes in lifestyle. The first was yielding to my lifelong desire to fully explore my gender complexion. The second, and rather recent change, involved taking a “job” after an interesting 3 year stint of independent, home office bound, pajama clad freelancery and tomfoolery.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Guess which change has been more disruptive?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Before leaning in close to give you a glimpse of the bosom of my thoughts on the matter, let me share a thought on disruption:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b>I am all in favor of it</b>. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">If my report cards are to believed, disrupting things has long been a core competency. I had teachers who, with a stronger sense of frontier justice, would have stood me up in the classroom corner from September to mid-June, and suffered fewer headaches. Summer vacation differed from the rest of the year only in so far as the disruption happened out of doors, barefoot, and without the hindrances of adult supervision. Even better, it was not subject to term papers and grading.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">But, yeah, without a jot of doubt or a flicker of hesitation, the whole<i> getting a job</i> thing has been more disruptive even than the discovery of “<i style="color: #c27ba0;"><b>Petra</b></i>”.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Coming out of solo orbit and splashing down in the Corporate Ocean has been a bigger shock to the system than expected. Many muscles and reflexes are out of trim and the gravity of things feels new. I had forgotten how much of the workday gets lost in overhead – the meetings, con-calls, and <i>sweet mother of pearl</i> the fulminating email threads, spinning in ever widening gyres, ensnaring the innocently cc’d in a gooey, Ebola-like contagion of indecision for the lack of somebody, <b><i>anybody’s</i></b> willingness to just <i>goddam well</i> <b>do it</b>. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Oddly enough though, it feels good to be home. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">After these days in my new corporate home, and the unaccustomed commute back to my<i> home</i> home, there has not been much left of me other than a desire for stillness. I have been finding stillness and resolved harmonies after the discordance of the day at the keyboard of my piano quite reliably lately. Hence my long absence from the keyboard that describes these <b style="color: #c27ba0;"><i>Voyages en Rose</i></b>.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I did however, at the end of this past week, satisfy myself that I could hack through the Gordian knot I was hired to unravel. On Friday, I was able to articulate the plan more or less convincingly to the right audience. This attracted positive notice. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I follow in the path of a parade of capable men and women who nimbly (<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>ed. cravenly?</i></span>) pirouetted around this problem, leaving it in place, fearing the loss of career velocity attendant on high stakes, high visibility failures. Perhaps I am bringing the required admixture of male and female, the correct tincture of masculine and feminine to the whiteboard. Perhaps I have not yet perceived the real contours of the challenge too. Perhaps I am merely perverse enough to try. I don’t know, or mind much today. I slept like a lamb two nights running, and felt today as though I had some reserves I could share here.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Haven’t much felt like dressing though. I <i>have</i> seen 3 of my skirts on new co-workers. A couple of blouses too, and at least one dress. I am happy to report that I am working with a stylish and attractive lot. None of them quite have my ankles, but that’s a long shot in any room. For the most part though, the gender puzzle which has been so much at the forefront of my consciousness in recent years is much deeper in background just now while I figure out all the other newness.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I suspect in time, that things will normalize. For now though, much of my mind and time will be fully stressed and stretched to cover my new responsibilities. In time, imperceptibly, the stress will diminish, the stretch will ease. One day then, with the problem atomized and right sized, there will be enough time and mind to drape the work, amply, elegantly. The cloth left over will be put to other uses. Stylish and flattering uses I hope. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Just now friends, I don't have an earthly when that will be. Nor do I have much of a thought about what I will want to share with you here in the meantime either.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">But you do know I will be back of course, yes? And you do know that I will share. Yes. Disruption is temporary. Change is lasting.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I do hope in the meantime that all of your changes are good ones too.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">xxoo - Petra</div>Petra Bellejambeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15325233285694315036noreply@blogger.com12