Happy Anniversary, Nylon Stockings

In truth, I missed the anniversary by a few days, which is a sadly typical behavioral trait of one part of my whole self. I’ll make it up to you next year honey, I promise! In any event, May 15, 1940 marked the day that the late and lamented Gimbels department store introduced, for the first time in human history an affordable, attractive synthetic alternative to traditional silk stockings.

DuPont had debuted nylon fabric to the world at the New York 1939 Worlds Fair, but given that its prior merchandising had been for fishing line and toothbrushes, this was an invention still manifestly in search of the Killer App. Thankfully it was found for Killer Legs.

The sales numbers are to me shocking. This product introduction makes iPad sales volumes look more like the Quick-Chop©. According to reliable sources over 64 million pairs were sold in Year 1 at $1.35 a throw ($19.85 adjusted for inflation).

Nylon stockings represented a democratization of sex appeal that I believe speaks to the very heart of American genius for commerce and innovation. A vast new market was created, and happy swarms of middle and less-than-middle class women had access to advantages of appearance that were before then, the exclusive province of the well-to-do. And O, how their happy partners, admirers and we, their descendants, have benefited from the general beautification of the world wrought from this giant and pretty stride for womankind.

All those tales about WW II G.I.’s wooing European women with nylons now make a little more sense. Gimbels (and Macy’s and etc..) had fortunate proximity to New York Harbor Naval docking facilities. This helped ensure a steady stream of shore-leave opportunists ready to stuff their duffle bags with sexy inducements to foreign hospitality. No doubt, more than a handful of nylons found their way up less shapely legs too.

For me, nylons were a very potent gateway drug, the very first thing that alerted me to the beautiful differences between men and women. My lifelong fascination with and admiration of the opposite sex was sparked in large part by what I saw on legs all around me. This fascination has over the years, resolved itself in my rewarding part time life en femme. What was a fetishy attraction to the object has ripened into something integral, found well beneath my sometimes shimmery surfaces, where former opposites now make a (mostly) happy whole together.

Further reading on hosiery in general can be found by clicking on “Petra’s Pantyhose Parade” on the Tag Cloud in the column to your right. Other ramblings on Stockings specifically can be found here and in a guest post on The Lingerie Addict here.

I would like to thank the wonderful people at Stockingirl, and Cervin whose blog posts alerted me to this landmark 70th anniversary, and whose products I can (from very satisfying personal experience) highly recommend to you, whoever the gift is intended for.

Petra’s Pantyhose Parade - Victoria's Secret

If it's Thursday, it must be Pantyhose. I have been busy these last few months scouring the racks of shops fine and less so to greedily purchase, carefully handle, brazenly wear and then haughtily pass judgement on the silky things we sometimes pull up our long legs.

This cross dresser has a thing for hosiery that goes back a long, long way. I distinctly remember a young temptress in my 7th grade class, expertly prowling, preying and feasting on the attention of the opposite and entirely unprepared sex. Advanced of intellect and of physique she weaponized her natural assets one day, donning grown-up sheers when the rest of the girls still sported little-girl leotards. She knew exactly the effect she had on everyone. The girls were mad jealous, the boys were transfixed, and the teacher himself was a little lost, distracted and weakened. Such power in the gossamer yarn.

And as to temptress, I can only imagine the emotional wreckage left in her feminine wake over the decades.

Now, back to my own legs which are presently moored within a pair of Victoria’s Secret Flatter Me Control Tops. Vicky is ubiquitous. Like her or not, you cannot ignore her. Let me describe my relationship with this temptress:

She is flame. I am moth.

Her carefully nurtured brand image is analogous to really good makeup. It has the effect of making everything underneath or within it seem a little more beautiful and valuable than close inspection might reveal.

For this perception, we consumers happily part with a couple of dollars here and there that we might not if we were perfectly rational consumers. Rationality however is not a noted trait of our sorority. With that said, I know that I am far from perfect, but will try to be close to rational.

Taking it from top to toe here is what the legs are telling me. The panty portion is a very high Lycra content shaper whose very functional design still favors fashion and femininity. Fashion, by sitting very surely at or just below the waistline, thereby not running the risk of peeking above skirt top. Femininity, by fusing panty to leg with a fine floral flourish. Entirely unnecessary, and entirely appreciated. Bonus points too, from the very subtle built-in butt lifter. Truly a fine crossdresssers garment in so far as it really smooths out whatever padding you supply to compensate for what nature missed.

Proceeding in a southerly direction to the legs. Just nice. A very sure, tight and yet cool feel on the leg. A sophisticated and dressy matte finish that I find very flattering. I would want just a little lower a Lycra content in the leg (I am only guessing, but it feels like 15% --- sorry --- the packaging went out with the recycling yesterday). The feel therefore lacks a little of the electric X factor that I favor in my hose. Clearly, there are more sheer leggings in the price range. Surely, there are more silky feeling nylons in this price range. I suspect however that Victoria (O I do want to believe that there is a Victoria) made a very rational decision in putting these together and on the shelves. She wanted enough durability in the leg to keep up with and last as long as the sexy Kevlar fortified portion up top. I think she got it, and I don’t mind giving up a little feel for that.

Having now been flattered by the Flatter Me’s, I will return the favor. Without doubt, these are the best fitting pantyhose I have ever worn. A rare 9.5 in this category. Strong Random Merit Points for the panty detail and booty lifting engineering.

At a retail price of $12.50, they earn a laudable 162.1 Petra’s Pantyhose Points to just miss the winners podium. 4th place out of 13 tested models, and a vast prairie of nylon yet to cross. Hanes, Calvin Klein, and Donna Karan remain poised, glimmering and ready to fight off next weeks pretender.

I can’t wait to find out who she is….

Petra's Pantyhose Parade - They got their Hanes on me

One hears a great deal on the news these days about the demise of American industry. We don’t make things anymore. We are a service economy. Once, we were a nation of producers. Now, we are a nation of consumers. And not so hot at that at present. Well lets not put a tear in our collective gusset here ladies. I am here today not only as the Editor of Petra’s Pantyhose Parade, but also as the Cheerleader in Chief for good old American ingenuity, industry and value.

And I am held aloft today on a downy cloud of silk, of light catching, glimmering and wonderfully comfortable Hanes Pantyhose Products. Let me share with you some observations and my delight.

But first the ground rules. On a weekly basis I buy, wear, evaluate, rate and rant about a brand of pantyhose. Why? Well for starters, it feels good. But beyond that, with a systematic approach to this groundbreaking and necessary research we may together build a map of the whole wonderful universe of Pantyhose. And what would we be if we did not try? No need to answer that.

Petra’s Pantyhose Parade is a public service. There is no commercial gain in it for me. But if you are a hosiery wholesaler in a terrible overstock pinch who is looking for a little temporary storage and keeps loose inventory records, well, hello there. Look me up here…

Ahem. Now back to Hanes. At a quick glance, Hanes is the General Motors of Pantyhose. Except, that if Hanes were managing General Motors, I would be driving a Buick, not a Subaru. Hanes is a massive, multi-brand, hosiery conglomerate. The L’eggs and Hanes lines run in the family, and each of these prolific brands run 20+ unique models deep, not counting the wonderful color palettes within each style. There is additionally an unknowable number of designer and retailer labels stitched onto Hanes product built to those private label specifications. Hanes are everywhere. And believe me I am not complaining.

This week I have pulled a couple of Silk Reflections products from the racks for our test. Silky Sheer Control Top and Waist Smoother Control Top. Again, this is just the tip of the Hanes Iceberg. Lets review what they have in common:

• Packaging – Attractive photo imagery on the package.
• Comfort and Fit – Really first rate feel on the leg and at the panty portion. A light touch that breathes, but with a real feeling of fixedness on the body.
• Appearance – Really gorgeous, even, and beautifully colored legs. These are very dressy day sheers that can hit red carpets at night without blushing.

Where do they diverge? Here is some detail:

The $7.50 Silky Sheer focus is all on the leg. The control top is all function, and low on aesthetics. Good choice. Very snug panty portion that won’t peek over waist bands. Completely luxurious leg with a cool and liquid feel. Looks and feels like a 15 Denier leg, but has a relatively high 15% Lycra component.

The $9.00 Waist Smoother focuses more on the panty. The control top is all fashion, all clean and smooth to eye and hand. The leg has an equally good appearance, but at a high 23% Lycra component, it lacks some of the slinkiness, some of the lovely glide that the Silky Sheer possesses.

To me though, unless you need to look great once your dress comes off, the Silky Sheer is your sure bet.

And now for the ranking exercise, which I am pleased to report, confirms my feelings about the Hanes products, and the calibration of the ranking formula.

Here is what we get. A new Champion. The Hanes Silk Reflections Silky Sheers knock Calvin Klein off the high perch with our very first 200 point score (205 over 194 for the Calvin’s). The Silky Sheers score consistently lower, point by point measured against the CK’s but at ~ 60% of the retail price, they nose past on value. And they win fairly I believe.

The Waist Smoother is a great looking and very comfortable pair of pantyhose, but with the best thinking in the panty, the hose are not what they should be for the couple of dollars more. These come in at a respectable 7th place with 127.7 points.

Both products get a nice little merit point from me just because the perfect fit is size CD. Irony can be so ironic you know.

I feel much more confident about the future of American manufacturing after this weeks invigorating exercise. O who the hell am I fooling. I feel better about my legs. And with that, together we cannot help but survive.

Next week, I will take a no nonsense look at No Nonsense. More proletariat pantyhose for the times. What hose are getting you through the days? Drop me a line, make a suggestion, and do be careful pulling your stockings up friends. Till next time…..

Petra's Pantyhose Parade - Worthington / JC Penney

Last week I walked out of JC Penney with full armloads of outstanding 75% ++ off terrifically made and absolutely timeless day-to-night appropriate professional woman’s wardrobe staples. Pencil skirts, silk blend blouses, shirt dresses by the pound. This is a department store that never ever meant a thing to my male shopper, but I must tell you this: Petra has a total store crush on JC Penney. And I never, ever would have guessed it could happen.

So, something is going on here. Maybe something like this:

• My male parts are bitchier and more judgmental than my feminine side,
  
• My feminine fashion sense is less well developed than my male fashion sense,
  
• JCP merchandises for women much much better than they do for the guys, or
  
• Some combination of all of the above.

The price I paid for what I got was practically criminal. My sense of guilt is never too far from the surface, and so I caught myself at the door, turned smartly on my heel and went in desperate search of something just a touch closer to full retail price. Thankfully I have a serious editorial responsibility for the Pantyhose Parade!

I did not have to walk too far to find myself in the hosiery section. Yes, the second pair came at 50% off but I didn’t feel like I was putting another vendor into Chapter 11. I will say this though – our hosiery check out lady was definitely offended by my having a penchant for things feminine. One blemish on an otherwise terrific visit. So for this weeks road test of tights is being visited on Penney’s house brand, Worthington.

I peeled up a dressy sheer pair of the Worthington Lace Tanga Control Top and immediately loved the very nice finishing. The pretty, pretty, lacey, scalloped faux-panty detail helps you feel like you are making a fashion statement rather than simply trying to tame your figure. Yes it is a control top garment, but at 14% of Spandex in the panty, its not overly constricting. Just a nice firm fit.

The leg shines nicely for the mid-range priced day sheer. At 18% Spandex it has a nice lasting cling and does not give up too too much on finish and feel. To me they are a touch less silky than I really desire. But, to be fair, they look just a touch better than they feel. It’s a pretty good compromise really.

The waist, panty and toe seams are subtle. They are not prone to roll at the waist (at least on my own frame) and hold up well to a long day of walking about.

I give my value minded friends at JC Penney 6 Random Petra Points for the effort that goes into the entirely unnecessary pretty panty portion. I mean honestly, when you are pulling on a pair of pantyhose you just know that the lady is driving, but it is a nice little girlish pleasure to know you have a little lacey detail where very few will know for themselves.

At an $8.00 investment, the math is favorable, and this weeks test subject rates a respectable 111.2 Petra Pantyhose Points. This laudable rating drives the Lace Tanga Control Top Sheer Leg into the middle of the pack of 10 tested pantyhose. In short, I am happy to endorse this fine fine product, but I couldn’t encourage you to drive great lengths to find them.

And so today, my Calvin Kleins remains in the number 1 spot, gloating and glimmering. I live in the hope that we can, together, find a worthy challenger. And then wear the hell out of them.

Next week, just wait till I get my Hanes on me….

Petra's Pantyhose Parade – Between me and my Calvin’s

Dear dear depilated and leggy friends. Far from the glimmering finish line we are, but we can take comfort not only from the electric thrill of lycra-rich sheers on our collective thighs, but also from the emerging reality that, with your patience, my formula for judging the merits of pantyhose is now standing up well to repeated scrutiny.

For the first 4 weeks of Petra’s Pantyhose Parade some new discovery or unconsidered consideration caused me to slink back to the math and tweak my too too complex matrix. Recently however, the formula has been rock solid and returned to me results true, O so true. The numbers and my legs have a perfectly straight back-seam line. All that is required now is time immeasurable and a 7 figure bailout to fund an epic shopping spree. With those 2 small, small gifts I am confident I can return to you a gold standard, a true north, a magic touchstone that fully reveals the good, the bad and the saggy of the entire loving world of Pantyhose.

Failing those little gifts, I will continue to deliver it here in weekly increments.

Again, the ground rules:

I seek no favors from the selfless merchants who labor long to clothe our legs. I am beyond corruption. That is to say, I am so irredeemably corrupted by life itself that a new pair or 2 of free tights would barely get my attention. If, however, you are a senior VP of marketing of such a firm who might look kindly on me and my sisters, I promise to distribute your largesse (container loads only please) fairly. Ship me what you can. I will line up the ladies, from thinnest to thickest ankles, and make your hose proud, so proud.

If, however, you are in a position of influence or responsibility at Calvin Klein, I have a ’97 Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon with your name on it simply for bringing the CK Matte Ultra Sheer Control Top Pantyhose to the attention of my many friends and I. You are my hero.

I splashed out a bit at a Macy’s last week. Lovely assistant who knew my size in a knowing top-to-toe glance. I knew in a glance as well that I wanted her boots. But that is for another day.

On this day I am compelled to report that caramel can be woven into a 20 Denier sheer fabric. Yes the label indicates 14% Lycra and the rest (minus the cotton gusset) in nylon, but they are lying, damn them, lying! If not for the diminishing flexibility that comes with advancing years, I would gladly have eaten my own thigh once my Calvin’s glided into place.

Forgive me, it is difficult to not be rhapsodic about these pantyhose. I will go now to bullet point mode and attempt to regain my newly shredded journalistic credentials:

• A nearly liquid feel. You expect ripples when you touch them


• Tight, even yarn that moves on the leg, but is in sure and constant touch


• Fashion forward reinforcement – clean lines between leg and panty right at the hinge of the thigh


• Sewn-in CK logo provides easy retrieval from crowded, chaotic hosiery drawers


• A healthy nude shade not exactly like any other I own called Praline. It looks like a tan of a far wealthier women than I


• Holds shape as though life itself (if not fashion) depended on it, and


• Possessed of an X factor that just makes you feel like a thousand fragrant kisses.

And this by the way from someone who is not much impressed with labels. I am not easily moved by a big brand, friends. But I do know how to fall in love.

And here I am. Smitten. Hopelessly so. And I don’t mind.

The current champ, Nordstrom Sheers have been effortlessly flicked off the pedestal with a massive ~33% improvement in Petra Pantyhose Points. The adjusted top 3 are charted here. And there is now nothing between me and my Calvin’s, but the next pretender to the throne. I urge you to look under the couch cushions (and do bend at the knee for the love of god) to scrape together the necessary $12.00. If you cannot manage that, drop me a line, and I will create a distraction by attempting to steal the Macy’s Sales Assistant boots. That may provide you the cover required to fill your handbag with these pantyhose of evidently unrivalled quality.

Petra’s Pantyhose Parade – High Waist Super Support Edition

Dear friends. My gracious, that was some gushing prose I spent last week on Wolford’s wasn’t it? And prose was not all I spent. I mean dropping $30.00 on a pair of tights that could ladder as quickly as a vampire runs from daylight would in the long run be, for me, financially ruinous. And that ruin would retard this noble and necessary study. We have come too far together for me to fail you now.

Well, I am an entire week more mature than I was last week, and I can see from this enlightened perch (or is it a slightly wobbly bar stool?) that clearly, I was then a much more easily beguiled and influenced young thing than I am today. My newfound and stately maturity did not come without effort however.

First things first. Aberrant Conditioning. Fearful of the continuing lure of Wolford, I watched “The Sound of Music” in its entirety 6 times running while consuming nothing but off-brand, made for the export market Tyrolean Chocolates. It worked. Today, even the thought of Edelweiss induces in me reflexive wretches of an entirely un-ladylike nature. It worked too well. I fear I can no longer enjoy the delightful and fruity Gruner Veltliners that have aged gracefully (often for days in fact) in my cellar before being quaffed with lusty abandon. Austria is completely off limits to me. But my savings are, well, safe.

Next things next. Test completely different Pantyhose. Something that might suppress the memory of my Wolford Luxe 9’s. And given the super elastic and confining nature of this weeks products, that’s not all that might be suppressed. The objects of my attention and affection are Super Support, High Waisted, Weaponized Body-Shaping Pantyhose from 2 favorite fashion vendors … L’eggs and Spanx. And so on with the review.

First up and over are the L’eggs Silken Mist Control Top Sheer toe Waist Cinching Shaper. Another fine entry from the working class hero of hosiery. The 17% Spandex panty that extends (after a nice little shimmy) to just below the bust line is a midriff smoothing, but not gut wrenching garment with similar feel to mid-range shape wear. At a fraction of the cost.

In an earlier post I waxed on about the feel and appearance of the Silken Mist line. Well no surprise, this model has all of the good stuff in the very sheer, comfortable and attractive leg. With one improvement. This weeks model has a reinforced upper thigh region that seems to solve the slight slackness of fit on the leg of the regular control top hose. Truly, a remarkable pair of pantyhose.

And, now on to Spanx. Sara Blakely may never know just how bright a torch I carry for her. And be assured it is not easy for a blond to make it past the velvet rope and into the slightly more darkly complexioned nightclub of my dreams. Truly this diva of the derriere should someday bring home a Nobel (Physics? Biology? Environment?) for her selfless contributions to eradicating visible panty lines with her Power Panty line.

The Sheer Leg High Waist All The Way Up Pantyhose marries the material magic of the Power Panty with a very glamorous sheer dress legging with some curious financial magic thrown in. These actually cost less than the standard Hide & Sleek line. Something has to give, but I could not find it --- at least in the panty portion. This is a well made and attractive garment. You will want to set your alarm clock about 5 minutes early to leave time for the divine struggle you should enjoy smoothing them up to full mast. There is none of the rubbery cling at the top that the L’eggs entry carries – just an elastic determination to fix in place and to not budge an inch.

The only negative I could find is in the leg finish. And this friends (and you especially Sara, dear Sara) is purely a personal preference. I love a silky finish. I want my legs to feel like caramel. And I think that in creating hosiery that will wear long enough to justify a $28.00 shaper investment, you have put your better work into durability at the expense of finish and feel. It’s a fine looking leg, but just a touch south of luxury, and to me, just a little less beautiful a feel than our more proletariat pantyhose partner, L’eggs.

With all of that said these are distinctive and wonderful pantyhose products, and I encourage friends to splash out and marvel at the smooth finish you will furnish under clingy things and ensembles you may be stretching just a tad here in the chilly, hibernating post-holiday months. And for those of you with a penchant for Zentai inspired confinement may I suggest that you may find some less expensive and more disposable additions to your wardrobe in this hosiery niche as well.

And on to the rankings. Sorry. I won’t be publishing the rankings. There is simply too little data. Additionally, the characteristics that this class of products needs to display are too, too different from what I look for in our everyday pantyhose. Beyond that, the very wide range in price makes comparing these makes the results table just look odd. I will, over time, find more splendid products in this category though, and hopefully present a more useful map of the high-waisted pantyhose landscape at some happy run-free day in our sunny future.

For the record, the Nordstrom Private Label sheers remains top of the Petra’s Pantyhose Parade charts for the 2nd week running. Next week, Calvin Klein swings her purse at Nordstrom. Feathers will fly. Please tell me your favorites in the meantime. I don’t need much encouragement, but I do like to know I have company.

Buff those nails girls – see you next time!

Petra's Pantyhose Parade - Wolford

Once upon a time, I smoked. Briefly, I owned a Dunhill lighter. It was well tooled. It looked handsome. It felt like something real in pocket and substantial in hand. It lit. Without fail. And then one day, it vanished. Drink is a terrible thing.

I mention this only because I am thinking now of how long it took me to forget my Dunhill lighter. Everything after felt tinny, and then, plastic. And perhaps, as evidenced by this reverie, I have not yet fully recovered from the loss. When a luxurious experience combines with a well developed sense of entitlement, the result is a thing commonly known as a comfort threshold. A new standard that makes all prior experience a pale Polaroid propped up beside an old master.

Luxury corrupts like nothing else. Power, even absolute power, is Cinderella’s ugly sister by comparison. Luxury. Now there is a drug.

With that said, dear leggy friend, I must tell you that this week I misguidedly purchased and just moments ago pulled on my very first pair of Wolford tights.

The Wolford Luxe 9 is an ultra sheer, (yes, the 9 is 9 Denier) super transparent, dress legging. They are possessed of a combination of gossamer lightness and tightness of yarn that cannot be either fully anticipated or easily described with words, mere words. The subtle reinforcement through the panty provides more visual appeal than support, but don’t worry, nobody will be looking at your waistline. The flat seamed waistband vanishes both from a look and feel perspective, and stays in place without need for attention.

They move on your legs in way that you have not felt before. They achieve a smooth glide over and around flexed, bending and striding legs. They hold shape without evidence of effort. They glimmer not. They do not need to. They make you believe with fierce conviction, instantly, that the superb sensations they confer are precisely what you deserve, need and crave for all of your remaining upright earthly moments.

Lastly, they achieve an effect that contradicts logic, and frankly, has me flummoxed. They are invisible, and yet they vastly improve the appearance of the human cargo borne within. What dangerous alchemy has been harnessed bestride the Danube? Who are these Austrian sorcerers? And what magic have they wrung from an otherwise dull periodic table of elements?

These, to me, are not pantyhose. They are a Faustian bargain with a nice light cotton gusset thrown in. They demand an instant upgrade to every other element in your life from purse to pumps. Never, and I mean never, have I felt such an overwhelming urge to shave my legs. Loyal readers of this column (Hi Mom!) will know that I have not yet crossed this threshold. I know now that this is inevitable. And necessary. And dignified. It must be done. My Wolford’s deserve nothing less.

It is too late for me dear reader. I am here to save you. Please, for pity’s sake, buy not the Wolford. For if you do, we will meet, destitute and relying on the kindness of strangers for simpler and now to me, entirely trivial comforts like food and shelter, in our declining years.

Ah yes, and now the ranking exercise. I will confess to having paid full retail of $30.00 in a Neiman Marcus that had everything else under the sun on sale. My scientifically and entirely rational scoring system simply cannot accommodate the magnificence of these superb strumpfhose. Their high ticket price unfairly fetters them into 3rd place out of 6 rated contenders. Please accept my abject apologies for my inability to create a mathematical model that pays adequate tribute to these magnificent pantyhose.

Petra's Pantyhose Parade - Volume 3

Ah yes, my gamine friends, welcome back. Petra’s Pantyhose Parade continues. This crossdresser has run into a little snag on her way to possessing a positively encyclopedic understanding of the pantyhose of the known universe.

My recently adjusted scoring model is broken. Again. Yes, price is important, but we cannot lose sight of the really costly efforts that make the difference between a good pair of hose and a great pair. I am a girl on a budget and will continue to factor in price in the scoring, but with a little more weight given to the look and feel elements of the tested tights. Additionally I have added a 5th criteria which is entirely at my discretion. Random Petra Points are, again, graded 1-10 by my snap answer to the posed rhetorical question … "how would I feel about attending my own funeral wearing these?" So again, glamour should win out in the long run.

Additionally, I have re-graded L’eggs pantyhose in light of their relative performance against this weeks efforts. I dropped them all a singe point. I still love them. Really I do. Its only that I fear I am going to find hose that feel marginally, and even much better in my voyages. I am fearful of crowding the top of my 1-10 scale. So, revised rankings (new formula) here.

This week, Silken Mist falls a notch to number 2 in the Pantyhose Parade overall , only by fractions of a single point. I of course reserve the right to wear, admire, and feel each of the fierce competitors and adjust scores accordingly as time allows and the mood drives me in my happy future. Silken Mists’ slightly less glam sister, Sheer Energy drops to 3rd. This week our working girl favorites go toe-to-toe with pantyhose for ladies who lunch. Lets all take Donna Karan and Nordstrom’s house brand out for a little stroll, shall we?

Before we begin, a couple of quick reminders. The tested product is worn while pondering and clicking away (on heels and keyboard) here. The legs simply cannot lie. Furthermore, I cannot be influenced by the generosity of anyone who would see fit to provide me with a lifetime supply of fine hosiery. Moreover, I would really love to test my integrity levels on that one, so do drop me a line if you are in a position to attempt to corrupt me….

Donna Karan is famed for dressing the successful woman and enabling projections of confidence and femininity in the mannish corridors of power. Petra busted the purse this week in an attempt to get that feeling, and O, dear friends, may I tell you its is small, small price to pay.

The Maximum Control Satin Sheer Toner feels like 2 beautiful garments invisibly mended together. Up top, a 39% Spandex control panty that locks in place like a loving anaconda and dares flesh to step out of line. Below the delicate thigh top floral detail is a fabulously sheer (15 denier) leg with enough elastic to maintain shape, but with no loss of beautiful light shimmer. These are sex-on-heels. I mean yummy. The touch is glorious. You will feel better then all the other girls in the room.

All of this of course comes at a price. Even during Nordstrom’s legendary semi-annual sale, the DK’s are not discounted. $18.50 off the shelf, or $16.50 online at all the usual suspects including Bare Necessities. The may not be Pantyhose to (literally) die for, but certainly, they are Pantyhose to die in.

Petra felt terribly guilty about paying full retail for anything in January. So much so that she started to refer to herself in the 3rd person, and more helpfully, splurged on the stuff that was on sale.

Nordstrom’s private label pantyhose were marked down from $10.00 to $5.00, putting this product into the everyday wear category. And the Sheer French Cut are a sheer joy, to my thinking, even at full retail.

The fit is every bit as good as the DK’s, and 2 points better than the L’eggs Silken Mist. Nice broad waist-band is roll resistant, so these can be nicely worn under clingy knits. Finish and general style are outstanding with a nice 25 denier leg, flashing a very subtle glimmer. The dainty French cut panty is there in the mirror to remind you which part of your personality is driving today. When I run these through the grading formula at the sale price, its just not fair to the other pantyhose . But even at the suggested retail price, these beauties manage to claw their way up on to the podium and this week, into the Gold Medal spot.

The DKs, hampered by the price tag miss the top 3, but have a very real and important place in my heart (and around my thighs).

A last note on the Nordstrom French Cuts. They are no longer available online. The Light Support panty sheers are pictured here, and have the same material qualities, minus the pretty bits. The sale is still on in stores, and if you are nearby I encourage you to pop in, drab or fab, and say hello. Staff is a little thin on the floors, but as always professional, helpful and as per usual, stylish and beautiful as I dream of being.

Next week … who knows. I will shop. This is true, and unavoidable. I will happily take suggestions about what I should buy and test. What makes your legs smile? Leave suggestions or comments in general here. And keep those seams straight till next time….

Petra’s Tuesday Traipse – Volume 4

Well, when we traipse, we use our legs. And in that spirit I am turning my gaze south of the waistband and looking at 3 distinct and lovely websites that focus on fashion for the legs. Get your passports out too, we are going global ... if its Tuesday, we must be in pantyhose.

Wolford, the legendary Austrian hosiery haus has been helping women in general and legs in particular look better since 1950. The product line and web site remain fresh, compelling and highly desirable. The finishes on the web site are as good as the finishes on the leggings. I do hope to be buried in the Individual 10 sheers (black naturally).

The site itself is built to polish the brand and not to sell product. The brand is supported in part by slick navigation and page rendering but mostly in the photography. Honestly, these legs look good. And that’s all you get here. And for me, well that is plenty. Love the site. For those of you who are in the income bracket to afford Wolford, bareneccessities.com has a great selection and the best prices you will see anywhere. For more fun, take a weekend in New York and visit the shop on Madison. Yummy.

From Austrian fabricator to Canadian retailer now. Shapings.com is located just west of Toronto and does a global trade in hard-to-find luxury and specialty leggings. The merchandise selection is broad and the prices seem right. Shapings does not put a lot of work into creating a gorgeous web site, but they are clearly passionate about pantyhose, they roam the globe looking for great hosiery, and will ship to you wherever you are.

Additionally, a visit to Shapings is worth it for anyone who simply wants to know more about tights in general. Exhaustive glossary section, and o by the way, an indispensable tutorial on how to put on pantyhose. Believe me, even if you have been in tights since you were a tot, you can learn something you will love here. Lastly, the nice people at Shapings are happy to cater to the CD / TG crowd, and that must be applauded.

Lastly today, a very happy find in England. Please visit one of my favorite blogs “Too Many Tights”. A dedicated legging enthusiast and fashion professional posts often, pushes the fashion envelope and even (little drum role please) fabricates tights for sale. It is refreshing to see some old-fashioned guild / craft approach being taken to making any sort of product in our mass produced and anonymous times. That some of that care is dedicated to tights just makes me feel so much better about our future as a species. Go ahead and pick up this RSS feed and enjoy.

Again, nothing in any of this but my desire to share what I find along the way. Please send me your favorite sites (even if it is your own). I’ll never find everything I want to see alone!

A Tale of 2 Visits to Victoria's Secret

Over the years I have bought many nice things in stores. Typically in drab. Sometimes for my wife, sometimes for Petra. My shopping was typically cloaked, (like many of you, dear readers) under the pretence of buying that nice thing for my wife.

Now, I do have some advantages. I can pick up a size 6 skirt or a 34C bra and the cashier or the girl on the shop floor could easily reason that, yes, that is likely the size of his wife. And a quick glance at my left hand would add evidence. There is a gold band on the 3rd finger.

And yes, I can fit my skinny butt into a size 6 skirt and hook a 34C bra around my, well, bust if you must. If I weighed another 60 lbs, things would be a little different. I suppose when you are shopping in a Lane Bryant for a size 24 dress, you are kind of giving yourself away. And that's OK. I am not either editorializing or gloating here. Its just the way it is.....

Nonetheless (even when I am legitimately buying something nice for my wife), there is a part of me that wonders …. “Does this nice stranger think this is for me? Did she clock me? And is she just humoring me? Does she deal with crossdressers everyday?”

Well, I did some nice shopping en femme recently, and it gave me encouragement to change the way I shop in drab. Here goes:

Visit # 1

After a superb make up treatment (Thanks R!), I had a little time to kill before the cocktail hour. I popped into Macys, and it was a little bit of a ghost town. Staff said hello. I stopped in intimates, looked at shoes, thought about a couple of dresses, not seriously shopping, but rehearsing shopping. Nothing really stood out, including it seems, Petra. Just another girl in a store.

I strolled out into the mall and was drawn inevitably into Victoria’s Secret. Now the fun begins. The entirely cute and petite Asian girl was envious of my ability to walk in heels. I swear to goodness, I was giving a Ggirl tiny lessons in letting the hips do the work. And there was a terrific promotion in the shop. Spend a minimum of $10.00, and get a gift card with random value --- likely $10.00 but possibly a thousand. How could a girl say no?

The abundance of mirrors and the O so nicely merchandized collections of pretty things were just music to me. Nothing furtive about my browsing. I know I was clocked within seconds by the staff, (and, if I am a realist, by some of the quicker clientele), but no worries at all. In fact, my new friend who can’t walk in heels said that if I wanted to try anything on, I was most welcomed.

Somebody shoot me while I am happy.

The fitting rooms were a little crowded, and really I had the wrong outfit on ( turtleneck dress, a real wig-popper) so a little try before you buy was out of the question. But do you know, the point was, I was fooling nobody (fully) and it just did not matter. Just a guy in a dress.

Just a guy in a dress on a budget too. I really did not want to splash out too much that night, but had to pick something up. Hosiery of course is something you can never have either enough or too much of. So after all the touch and feel, just picked up a pair of superb semi-boarded control tops with a very pretty lace effect at high thigh. Cashed out, got a little spritz of perfume, a nice catalog, a yet to be redeemed gift card and pretty pink bag to walk back out to the car with.

And this really got me thinking. I cannot get out as much as I like to en femme (too many reasons, more on that later). But I do like to prepare for nights (and days) en femme. I do like as well to keep in touch with Petra, and do things for her. Sometimes it is just a visualization exercise. You see a nice look on a real woman, and say to yourself, yeah Petra ought to have that look. And then, maybe you go shopping for that look. In drab.

Visit # 2

So I was in drab yesterday, and my Victoria’s Secret Secret Value gift card was burning a hole in my pocket. Those control tops I mentioned earlier on – fabulous. Really snug around the hips and butt. Nice glossy finish. Yum. So I dropped in.

“Can I help you find something today?”
“Sure, I am looking for hosiery”
“Is this a gift?”
“No, its for me. I wear a size C here”
“OK, just over here…”

And do you know something, there were no flashing red lights, no PA announcements of the presence of a deviant in the store, no women and children shrieking and running away. Just me and the nice girl talking 'bout tights.

“You don’t need the control tops do you? I mean look how skinny you are…”
“Well, I have different parts I need to ... ummm.... well, contain you know… and the padded panties, well they need to be smoothed out a bit too.”
“Really? Well, yeah, I guess that makes sense … oops, hey, I think we are out of the black in C. I like the almost black. Would that work for you?"
"Sure, that will do"
"Do you need anything else today?”
“No, I really just wanted to find out whether my surprise value card is worth $10.00 or whether I like struck gold and got one of the high value ones…”
“Well, I hope you get lucky – check out is just over here...

Nice for the environment too. She did not bother asking me whether I wanted a gift box.

“Do you have a Victoria’s Secret Angel Card?”
“Um, not yet.”
“You really ought to get it. You'll never ever pay full price”
“OK, well I will figure that one out later….”

And so it went.

And so it will go in the future. When I shop for me, I will shop openly. I suspect that some people will just be too unnerved to do their job well. And that is ok. I pretty much expect that I will get terrific service, and will probably meet some nice people just by being a little more honest about it. Perhaps this will help drive down the stigma factor that many of us still fear to one degree or another. And it might just make life a little more interesting for the nice, nice women working in a small handful of shops.

I will keep you posted on how it goes.