Petra's Pantyhose Parade - Worthington / JC Penney

Last week I walked out of JC Penney with full armloads of outstanding 75% ++ off terrifically made and absolutely timeless day-to-night appropriate professional woman’s wardrobe staples. Pencil skirts, silk blend blouses, shirt dresses by the pound. This is a department store that never ever meant a thing to my male shopper, but I must tell you this: Petra has a total store crush on JC Penney. And I never, ever would have guessed it could happen.

So, something is going on here. Maybe something like this:

• My male parts are bitchier and more judgmental than my feminine side,
  
• My feminine fashion sense is less well developed than my male fashion sense,
  
• JCP merchandises for women much much better than they do for the guys, or
  
• Some combination of all of the above.

The price I paid for what I got was practically criminal. My sense of guilt is never too far from the surface, and so I caught myself at the door, turned smartly on my heel and went in desperate search of something just a touch closer to full retail price. Thankfully I have a serious editorial responsibility for the Pantyhose Parade!

I did not have to walk too far to find myself in the hosiery section. Yes, the second pair came at 50% off but I didn’t feel like I was putting another vendor into Chapter 11. I will say this though – our hosiery check out lady was definitely offended by my having a penchant for things feminine. One blemish on an otherwise terrific visit. So for this weeks road test of tights is being visited on Penney’s house brand, Worthington.

I peeled up a dressy sheer pair of the Worthington Lace Tanga Control Top and immediately loved the very nice finishing. The pretty, pretty, lacey, scalloped faux-panty detail helps you feel like you are making a fashion statement rather than simply trying to tame your figure. Yes it is a control top garment, but at 14% of Spandex in the panty, its not overly constricting. Just a nice firm fit.

The leg shines nicely for the mid-range priced day sheer. At 18% Spandex it has a nice lasting cling and does not give up too too much on finish and feel. To me they are a touch less silky than I really desire. But, to be fair, they look just a touch better than they feel. It’s a pretty good compromise really.

The waist, panty and toe seams are subtle. They are not prone to roll at the waist (at least on my own frame) and hold up well to a long day of walking about.

I give my value minded friends at JC Penney 6 Random Petra Points for the effort that goes into the entirely unnecessary pretty panty portion. I mean honestly, when you are pulling on a pair of pantyhose you just know that the lady is driving, but it is a nice little girlish pleasure to know you have a little lacey detail where very few will know for themselves.

At an $8.00 investment, the math is favorable, and this weeks test subject rates a respectable 111.2 Petra Pantyhose Points. This laudable rating drives the Lace Tanga Control Top Sheer Leg into the middle of the pack of 10 tested pantyhose. In short, I am happy to endorse this fine fine product, but I couldn’t encourage you to drive great lengths to find them.

And so today, my Calvin Kleins remains in the number 1 spot, gloating and glimmering. I live in the hope that we can, together, find a worthy challenger. And then wear the hell out of them.

Next week, just wait till I get my Hanes on me….