Feb 27, 2009

Big, subtle victories

It has been a terrific Fall/Winter season for me. I have had more time, space and inclination to really explore and to make peace with my cross dressing. Prior embraces, decades in the coming and going have been more abrupt than lingering, more physical than cerebral, more furtive and hidden than confidently on display.

Signs of aging, or at best, maturity.

This past week I reveled in another wonderful day long session en femme, out and about. I will write a Big Thoughtful Crossdresser Blog Post © with some of the highlights illuminated early next week. 10 hours in 4” heels without requiring oxygen. The altitude training is paying off.

In any event, having been pretty well immersed in the femme space recently (real world and blogwise) I have become less self-conscious about my cross dressing. I am executing things with a little less thought and effort, and happily, without second guessing my choices. No dithering.

This morning I was dropping a short note to an online acquaintance I admire greatly who is documenting her transition online
here. Jillians’ most recent post discussed reasons why “trans folk do not always act our biological age”. Jillian is beautifully pictured in a dress that Demi Moore might wear when she is approaching 60, but that very few other “born” girls could pull off. And Jillian looks terrific.

I agreed with her premise and wanted to say so. Here is a bit of my commentary here:

I often go into age or setting inappropriate fashion territories. I am close to 50. I should not own a clingy, 4″ above the knee leopard print dress. Right? Well I didn’t when I was 25, so like you, I am owed the privilege….”

I had a tiny chuckle to myself after posting it. Not once while I was considering the age appropriateness of my dress, did I question for a moment the gender appropriateness of my dress.

No looking back over my figurative shoulder to see if someone else thinks I have it wrong. Its all becoming quite natural, and just a little more (loaded word alert) normal in my days. The electricity still courses through me when dressed and when anticipating dressing, and when remembering dressing. But the current is better managed, more efficiently harnessed in the service of a pretty big part of me. A part that I am getting to know and to like a little better each day.

Big, subtle victories to you and those you love too.

Happy weekend.


The Crossdresser's Girlfriend said...

Sweet Petra.
Victories indeed.
You're always an inspiration to those who aspire to live out loud!

Cassidy Brynn said...


She's Sweedish, and her designs are fab! I always think of the two of you b/c ...well..you're both Petra

Treacle said...

You know...I never thought about any kind of age/gender disparity, but then I suppose I wouldn't as a bio-female.

What age is Petra? Is that all right for me to ask?

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