The Return of the Things

Even after all the bumping and bruising of my recent Black Friday shopping, I still had some snap in my garter. I had hauled in some terrific trophies from the frothy retail sea last week, and beautiful as they all are, I chose to exercise a woman’s prerogative on a couple of the glittering catches snared in the net. The Ann Taylors’, after some consideration, simply did not ring true. Yes, the pencil skirt is gorgeous. 2 issues though, and neither have to do with the skirt:

a) I already have her twin, and b), at 22” it is just a tad demure.

Much to like about a perfect skirt though, and not only for the admirer outside of its tight, sleek confines. There are joys for the bearer of such glad fashion tidings. The graceful limits of ones strides are so exactly pressed with each step. The compression of the thigh, the flattening of skirt front, the slight bias pull of sleek lining shifting and swishing around ones derriere, the cheeky opening of the back-slit. Ahh, be still my heart. Wonderful sensations. Mirrors not required. But again, we live in austere times dear friends, and so with heart hardened back to the shops I went.

I took with me the polished cotton tuxedo blouse too. Great look, really, but I already have a full male wardrobe of butchy enough things. I will henceforth leave this class of blouse to the genetic girl set, and admire the look from afar, or from as close as civil society allows. Live and learn. But be sure to hang on to your receipts always.

And a good thing I did too, because Black Friday is followed surely by Cyber Monday. A completely spurious invention of online retailers needing to gin up another belch of ill-considered consumption, Cyber Monday is celebrated with online door crasher specials, free shipping and other purse-prying premiums.

Smart retailers have learned in recent years that what is good for the online goose is good for the offline gander, and so most web deals are offered at parity in the stores these days. I prefer shopping live for a whole host of reasons, one amongst them that I move faster than UPS when the urge hits. My favorite smart retailer, Ann Taylor went 40% off everything again for Cyber Monday, and so I figured a nice swap out would be in order.

I dressed a tad differently than my lovely visit a couple of weeks ago when I had the leopard print dress on. Work boots, ratty jeans, indifferent jersey top with a corporate logo and paint stains on it, a ball cap to cover my unkempt hair and a Miami Vice class stubble-field on my unmoisturized face. There is a little construction going on Chez Bellejambes, you see. Drab to the fullest extent possible. Still, I was clocked by one clever sales assistant who had rutted the racks with me recently. With a warm return hello, and knowing smiles tendered, I dove in with renewed vigor and emerged with unarguably prettier, flouncier, and more feminine things.

The Top – A Cascading Ruffle Blouse, found in a terrific pewter shade, all delicate silk georgette, ruched shoulders and buttoned cuff, puffed sleeves, a blouse from the far reaches of Planet Girly. It will work terrifically with the new skirt (notes below) as well as recent finds from JC Penney. Knocked down from ~ $100 to just a touch over $25 US. <insert choir of angels sound here>.

The Skirt. Diagonal Tiers of very pretty chiffon pennantry draped across the stretch jersey front of this slightly more body conscious, thigh baring, 19” not-for-every-day-wear side-zipped flirt. The grim retail reaper had undressed this beauty from a lofty $90.00 all the way down to $30.00 by the time I found my grubby paint-splattered hands on it. Patience and compulsion rewarded at the same time. The universe is kind yes, and O so pretty.

I must tell quickly of the check out experience. My finds were being gently dressed in tissue paper by a statuesque beauty who had not been in the shop when I was there en femme, and who assumed I was in the gift market for a shapelier girl.

“Nice! What’s the occasion?”

“The occasion is beautiful cloths”, said I.

“O, that is sweet. I love sensitive men…”.

Damn, but I am glad I am married. I remember being prone to making a complete fool of myself with the slightest encouragement in younger years, and you know that a nice new outfit does make me feel so, so young.

After the taxes were figured in, I had an outfit I feel absolutely certain about, and a crisp $20.00 bill slipped back into my purse. That unexpected windfall is poised for the next, absolutely, positively required thing. If I know me, updates will not be too far off my friends.

Happy dressing, and happy everything else