Dear friends,
Most of us delirious with or afflicted by desires to cross dress as we are know that there really is no telling when tides will wash over walls, and even less telling the tides what to do, when they do.
Well my own dressing tide went out in early March. No trauma, just an absence of appetite for the surface elements of dressing.
During this easy, untroubled summer Drabbatical I have spent time cultivating friends, learning from them, and have kept up on my reading. Lots of thinking time too. Activity of the interior, investigation of the mind, and none of the decorating of the exterior.
As I grow a little older, the interior feels more important, and needs more catering. I feel now that recent time has been time well spent. I feel now as though I understand my whole self better then I ever have.
I believe as well that by catering to my interior, and by trying to better understand cross dressing and related issues, that I likely forestalled a bigger, less predictable and more dangerous eruption of need at some unpredictable moment in the future.
The future in my case began today.
Mrs. B has an out of town engagement. I am up to date on the couple of projects that I am running just now. And the urge pulled. Pulled me all the way up to the attic in fact to retrieve parts of my feminine exterior.
I am dressed just now as I write this, and want to tell you that I feel wonderful. I have not forgotten how to walk in perilously high and provocatively pointed pumps. A rather sedate, knee length sheath dress falls well, flatters and feels comfortable. My elbows have returned quite naturally to my sides, and my back is straight as I type. I feel calm and special. I do not feel excited or freakish. These are two extremes that many of us have felt, and are two extremes which really don’t do one any good.
And so, I feel good, and wanted to share that with you.
Happy dressing and happy everything else.
Jul 29, 2009
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5 comments:
That's so great to hear, Petra :)
Welcome back to the exterior side of femme, Petra. :)
Interesting how you've been exploring your femme-side on the interior during your Drabbatical, and growing as a result. I am constantly exploring my interior, as I cannot always do so on the outside (although I'm not exactly on a Drabbatical by any means). Tapping those components of the mind and exploring the feeling, ideas, and thoughts within is always an interesting journey and growth process.
You seem very calm, content, and at peace by your assessment of things. That is exactly how it should be. Congrats on a fine femme day (or portion there of). :)
Awesome! Thanks for washing back in with the tide! You are right the interior is far more important. I have often thought that there are many transitions, mental, spiritual, and of course the physical...dressed...fabulous transition...it almost doesn't matter as long as the inner you is happy
Surfs up? :)
Welcome back, Petra.
Nothing like a return :)
It's so true that our internal gender expression - who we think we are is perhaps the place to start acceptance and grow.
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