The Feminine Voice Revisited

I live in a dazzling hall of slightly distorted mirrors. I find reflection interesting and necessary, and am willing to pay for the view with the odd token of self doubt. Periodically, I will receive some unexpected validation from a kind stranger or a near and dear friend, and that has the effect of helping me enjoy the bigger, fuller outward view. Sometimes, though, I very cravenly seek the validation myself which is a strategy fraught with downsides. Like so:

• Positive feedback is cheapened because you asked for it, and
• Negative feedback is amplified because, well, you really did ask for it.

Nonetheless, and knowing well the stakes, I did it again. Faithful followers of these Voyages en Rose may remember the little language exercise I conducted with

GenderAnalyzer.com late last year (here), and earlier this year (here). The Gender Analyzer prompts you to pop your URL into a query box, click something or other, and in about the time required for a single carefully executed nail polish stroke, presto, a quick, and in my case, flattering guess as to the gender of the author of the content on the site.

The last time I mentioned (ed. plugged perhaps?) the Gender Analyzer here, Jon, one of the authors of the sites code was good enough to drop a line about how his digital diviner tells the X’s from the Y’s from a literary perspective. Per Jon:

" Basically it looks on word usage, not sentences. The classifier core is a naive Bayesian classifier: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naive_Bayesian_classification."

I had been hoping to find out that there was something in sentence structure or grammatical conventions employed by the author that would act as reliable “tells”. Failing that, perhaps a lack of profanity or obviously macho swagger in the language in general might tip the scales. Alas, that algorithm does not yet exist, or is only in use at the National Security Agency where it can do no possible good.

I suppose therefore, that any blog that has 103 instances of “pantyhose” (out of a nail-chipping 56,024 blogged words to date) would likely be assumed by a Bayesian Classifier (naïve, jaded or in between for that matter) to be authored by a genetic girl. So big whoop for Petra. I have fooled the analyzer now 3 whole times.

Interesting to your author and editrix though is the news is that I am fooling it better and better each time out. In December, 2008, a very young Petra was felt to exhibit a 68% likelihood of being female. Fast forward to Feb 2009, and Gender Analyzer had ratcheted me up to a 74% certainty of femininity. Yesterday, Voyages en Rose strolled calmly and confidently past the gender cops baring a little thigh without getting clocked, and in fact eliciting an 82% salute which I have to tell you feels to me as though I have just been hit on, and very nicely.

Oprah gets a 72%. Oprah! Cosmopolitan scores 66%. Cosmo! Petra, 82%. 82%!! So hooray for me! Or not. You see the better parts of me really don’t care.

I Cross Dress to look and feel differently beautiful for myself. It is greatly rewarding that I am able to do it well enough to mix with the bigger brighter world outside of my dazzling hall of mirrors from time to time. There is positive affirmation in doing so.

I Write about the experience to help me feel and understand Cross Dressing just a little better. And it helps, truly it does. Importantly though I have met so many nice people here, and learned a great deal from you in the bargain. I know from your visits and notes that we share something wonderful, and are far from alone. Again, more beautiful vistas beyond our private spaces.

So, I think I will leave the Gender Analyzer alone in the future. The real objective should not be to fool anyone or anything. The real objective is to express ourselves fully. Mirrors be damned.

But do allow me one last bit of fun. My politics were referred to in the recent Givenchy post. Liberal is the easy word I suppose. So in a moment of idle devilment, I ran notorious right wing commentator Ann Coulter through the Analyzer. 64% male. I laughed out loud. So go ahead and check your own blog, or other sites of interest, and please leave comments as to your findings and views.

Politics again in this weeks poll (over on your right darlings…). The classifications are far too simplified, and far from standard, but please pick the one that best describes your leanings. I promise not to think of you as smoldering hot liberals, or ice cold conservatives. If you feel attractive to yourselves, you are attractive to me. Results and commentary next week.

Happy dressing, and happy everything else….. Petra

Petra’s Pantyhose Parade – Givenchy and Globalization

Happy Thursday my darlings. Earlier in the week I mentioned “electrically happy” legs. The tingle is with me still. For this, I would like to thank the House of Givenchy. More properly though, I suppose I should thank the licensing lawyers who organized a marriage between Audrey Hepburn’s favorite couturier and the anonymous maker of my superb new dressy sheers.

Before I rhapsodize on them though, indulge me just a moment would you? You see, one detail stood out on the packaging before I slid in to the product. Made in China. Now of course, we see the “Made in China” label on so many fine quality and necessary goods in our day to day lives, from electronics to stemware to frozen fish to who knows what’s next. We see it as well on a lot of shoddily crafted and entirely unnecessary crud, dreck and detritus. Made in China. It is ubiquitous, but I did not recall a Chinese entry in my selfless and hopefully endless journey through our expanding universe of feminine hosiery.

Now, Petra is a bit of a pack rat. So, on my hunch, I reviewed the fine print on the archived packaging (laundered pantyhose carefully folded back in, alphabetically sorted, light to dark sub-classification within the same brand. Believe it. If you are a Smithsonian curator, we should talk about my future bequest). Upon review of Country of Manufacture data, the hunch was proved correct. This weeks model is the first entry from the Middle Kingdom.

So, to review recent history, where do the rest of our leggings leg it out from? 9 of 15 are made in the good old US of A, including our top rated pair, the Hanes Silk Reflections Silky Sheer Control Top. (Review linked here). Happily, we can say that this strategically vital industry still thrives here in the home of the shaved. El Salvador rates next as the home of 4 of my reviewed products including fine entries from Donna Karan and L’eggs. Canada and Austria round out the known tested field. So, how do our first Chinese entry, the Givenchy Essentials Body Gleamers fare against fierce global competition in the battle for our hearts and thighs?

China is a famously low cost labor marketplace. That this shows in the price really doesn’t, or shouldn’t, surprise. Bare Necessities carries them competitively online at $9.50, but I practically stole a pair for less than half that at TJ Maxx. Clever Petra. And now, up and over with the hose.

They have an overall aura very true to the Givenchy name, glamorous and vaguely from another time. Very well constructed too. The 18% Spandex leg is fully boarded and wicks well. The 20 denier weave achieves a good balance between sheerness and durability. The sandal foot is solid and subtly finished. The control top panty is flat-seamed and absolutely, firmly adheres to the hips, exhibiting no waistband roll at all. If these hose were a figure skater, they would receive stellar technical merit points right across the judges panel.

And what about artistic merit? No disappointments. A very luxurious experience. As the name Body Gleamer might indicate, these dressy sheers really glimmer. The leg silhouette is practically back-lit. These are not pantyhose for the faint of heart or for blushing wallflowers. And if I know anything about my readers, that adds up to none of you. The tested shade, Walnut has been teleported directly from the 1950's into our present, and can, in my view, be worn with practically anything. In any shade though you can be sure that they will hold shape beautifully and feel terrific through a long day.

Breathlessly my dears, they just missed the podium by a tiny scoosh, earning a laudable 180.5 Petra Points, gliding into 4th place overall and serving notice to the world that China is in the game, for keeps. Our world may benefit. Think of all the alluring design brands that we might see licensed and stacked up on the shelves of shops up-market and down. The mind fairly reels: DVF, Balenciaga, Kamali, Chanel, and on and on. And what might these imagined entries displace from our drawers. What other longer lasting and more impactful displacements might follow naturally and rapidly on that pretty march?

And so, at the risk of boring the pants back on to you, I must reveal here a few of my own thoughts on globalization, and what is commonly called free trade. I imagine I am one of a very small sorority who lists both Calvin Klein and Naomi Klein (pictured, left, yeah, I know, as if smart wasn't hot enough. Sheesh) as role models. For those of you who have not worn Calvin Klein pantyhose: Go. Do. That. Soon. For those of you who have not read Naiomi Klein, please do. My point and my passions here have nothing to do with China per se. But they do have much to do with where all of us live. Cross Dress globally yes, by all means do, but where you can, while you can, shop locally.

And please, for any of you who have strong views on these matters, or on tights in general, comments are most definitely desired and welcomed.

Happy dressing and everything else….

Veronica vs. Betty. Stockings vs. Panty Hose

Still a little warm for full facial magic, curve and shape aids, flowing locks and purse packed for adventures en femme here in the south, but air conditioning is a marvel and there is under-dressing to be done. Before going on my recent prolonged Drabbatical, I did shop a little and left a couple of items in the wrapper untouched and hibernating. A rare display of self control, and a wonderful bonus of delayed gratification.

Repeat visitors and friends will have witnessed some early stirrings of the old girly game, and for Petra of course, the game begins with the gams. Later this week, I promise a new Panty Hose Parade entry on behalf of my presently, very, electrically happy legs. Givenchy is the name, and glamour is the game.

Here today though, I will divert and discourse on an ageless, ceaseless civil war. Pantyhose vs. Stockings. Your cross dressing correspondent is presumed to be a partisan for the all-in-one, up-and-over pantyhose in this fierce fracas, and while my fondness for them is real and enduring, I am nothing if not versatile, and not in the least doctrinaire on the matter.

Recently I received a note from dear friend Christine over at Chrissie’s Place. She described her own feelings of … well … let us agree to decorously say distaste for pantyhose. We agree on so many other matters of taste, temperament and times I felt as though a little thought and perhaps a well fashioned epistle on the topic might be in order.

The act of fastening a well made stocking top to a garter belt is validation from above that you are, at that moment, special. The very nearly perfectly private show of thigh hardware embossed under ones own tight skirt is a joy to behold. Adding the ever present risk of a slipped stocking to the universe of ladder-inducing threats to gossamer hosiery just amplifies your awareness that you are dressed, studiously and decadently dressed.

Yes, I love stockings. I opined about the sad 60’s revolution that seemed to shake and sadly simplified our foundation garment habits here. I mean every word of it. I was born out of time. I wish that we had never abandoned all the clasps, seams, hooks and eyes that held the stockings, garters and girdles of bygone times. Sadly my views on the matter were not solicited and of course would not have mattered. And so stockings elude our easy day-to-day grasps.

Yes, the gentle and constant strap tugs, the heightened requirement for care in taking a chair, the knowledge that a peek of scallop lace may be available to the innocent and not so innocent bystander, these things are meaningful. From my perspective they are feelings of privilege reserved for the refined woman, genetic or otherwise. And privileges not exercised often enough for my own tastes.

My own tastes are compromised by practicality though. First, there is the shape of my leg. Just not enough flesh at thigh top to be clung to. Stay-ups don’t. And when a true stocking is fastened to the suspender belt, yet another slightly more awkward layer is added to my already complex under-layers. Calls of nature go from a manageable ordeal to an epic battle against the forces of foam, elastic, nylon and lycra. One might crack a sweat and do undue damage to the overall appearance.

Arguably, these are struggles that we privileged cross dressers should delight in. Or at least try more often. Nobody ever said that beauty and allure would come easily. Or if they did, they were not reckoning on my desire to feel beautiful.

And so, back to Betty and Veronica. No doubt, no earthly doubt,Veronica has a top drawer stuffed with stockings and belts and other accoutrements ably deployed in her relentless war against the composure of everyone flocking around her. Betty I suspect does not so dote on her finery. Practical and attractive that Betty is. And while practical I am not in most aspects of life, in the matter of hosiery, I suppose that I am. I will reserve my big romantic flourishes for my writing. And so with the Betty's of the world in mind, you can expect more Panty Hose Parade notes here regularly.

Photo credits go to Secrets in Lace. For those of you inclined more to stockings than pantyhose, go visit, feast your eyes, and crack open the purse for a little treat.

Happy dressing, and everything else. … Petra

The Return of the Pantyhose Parade: Summerweight Edition

Ah, the summertime blues. To my many visitors from Chile, Argentina, New Zealand, Australia and other fortunate antipodal cool spots, let me say that your northern sorority mates are mad jealous. Here on our side of the equator, many cross dressers go dormant, like your faithful correspondent Petra. One can barely raise the energy to swat the flies away, lazing in the shade of the front porch. Even the most committed and cleanly shaved amongst us can be forgiven for letting the leg weeds run rampant through the hot months. Admiring glances are one thing, tipping our hands indiscriminately to a world not ready for us though can be too high risk an approach to feeling and looking great.

Additionally, many of our favorite summertime looks just look better on the genetic girl. Our shoulders are perhaps a little broad. Low cut blouses bare too much less-than-fleshy décolletage. Flat sandals just don’t provide the required calf-oomph. Add in all the shaping foundation layers, heat-trapping wigs, and perspiration-magnifying cosmetics and well, Autumn cannot come too soon.

But for many brave cross dressers drawn moth-like to the nylon / spandex pantyhose flame, excuses simply will not suffice. Dress we must. And while bare legs are a time honored tradition fully deserving of display and admiration, fully dressed means something fine and feminine on our legs.

Happily, supply rises to meet demand and settle nicely around the flesh south of our personal equators. Lightweight, bare look and more breathable pantyhose call out from the shelves. One such pretty package caught my attention last week and was promptly adopted, donned and adored. And my admiration for value vendor L’eggs continued to grow.

The Silken Mist line is augmented by the Bare Collection which promises a “sheerer Silken Mist”, and delivers. These day sheers are comfortable, attractive and highly discreet. Full daylight shows only the faintest silhouetted glimmer, but still quite a convincing nude look. Under interior lights, the finish is flat and practically invisible.

The waistband on the not too strict control top does roll a little too much for my liking. But fit through the panty is secure, and is superb in the leg. With a relatively high Spandex content (19%) in the leg, they are not prone to sags at all, glide well on striding legs and rebound to motion fully through hours of wear, inside and out.

Their feel is, as always with the Silken Mist line, silken and misty. Really lovely handle, to both the hands and the gams. And as for standing up to the Dixie summertime climate, no noticeable build up of heat on a day of high humidity and temps well over 90F (34C). Lastly, our new lightweight friends are sandal foot and so perfectly suited to open toe sandals of all varieties. With all of those nice things true and said, all happiness comes at a price ladies. Do take care dressing. The Bare Collection is likely to not have all the durability that one is accustomed to.

When all of my thoughts and well considered 1-10 scores are put into the Fit, Finish, Feel, Fashion and Cost algorithm, these value-priced pantyhose hold up well to summertime heat and to withering glares from the competition. This weeks L’eggs totter proudly up to #4 on the Petra’s Pantyhose Parade catwalk of fame just behind great entries from Hanes, Calvin Klein and Donna Karan (archived reviews linked) with a laudable 176 Panty Hose Points. 2 random Petra Points just for making a great summertime hose for a bare $4.99.

I have a backlog of product to test and opine on dear friends. I may not have been dressing much of late, but I have been doing my little and stylish bit for the economy. Fancy patterned leggings appear to be an even bigger part of the fall hosiery season this year. This will force some new thinking into my classification systems and some great new looks into our wardrobes. Be assured I will keep you posted.

In the meantime, happy dressing and stay out of the heat.

Mad Men, Powerful Women, and a whimsical time machine

Having a few minutes to kill, and prompted by Staci-Lana of Femulate fame and fortune I took a test drive through MadMenYourself.com and very truly enjoyed myself. I tip my Leopard Pill-box hat to you dear, and feel as though I have connected with a past life without the bother of a costly, creepy séance.

Viewers of quality television here in this part of the world have enjoyed 2 seasons of Mad Men, a terrific AMC program (programme for you speakers of another Queens’ English …) set in a golden era of marketing, fashion and foundation garments. I feel an almost inexpressible sense of loss for not having knowingly lived, thrived, dined and dressed in this peak time of imagined American possibilities. If I did, I am quite certain that my feminine aesthetics have been carried with me, wholesale, freeze-dried and perfectly preserved through the burning bras, de-sexed power suits and clumpy platform soled shoes of eras that followed too, too fast on the click clacking heels of this innocent and imperfect window on our then limitless, frightening future.

Apart from the terrific writing, the unsurpassed art direction, lighting and camera work, and the gorgeous, make you want to cry good wardrobe, this show is to be admired for its own marketing and promotion acumen and execution. Season 3 premieres on 16 August. Just 2 weeks plus till a long overdue sighting of Joan in a bullet bra. God speed the day. In the meantime do visit the site, and get caught up in the past. You will find a simple little interactive game that whisks you back in time, with the gender assignment you feel most comfortable in. A few clicks, a little thoughtful consideration about just who you are and/or were, and presto … a lovely screen saver or perhaps an internet avatar for your personal use.

Petra of the Past is pictured here. I have not made up my mind as to whether of not Sterling Coopers comps are up to standard for my luxurious line of intimates. Fully fashioned stockings, OBG,s and super-engineered brassieres for the beautifully shaped girl on the go. But I do suspect that in this life I was able to get my way, in a very efficient way. And I will unnerve the Account Director by insisting on paying for my own cocktail, thank you very much.

For a simpler, shorter trip back in time, I did muse a little about Mad Men and the long sad demise and near death of the feminine undergarments of my dreams here on Voyages en Rose. It might take you 5 minutes to visit those thoughts by clicking here.

Go have some fun, and may your closets and drawers of the present always be filled with pretty things of our past.