Café Society

The following post was written on Wednesday Sept, 29 around 5:00 - 5:30 in the evening. It has been edited for spelling and clarity, spit polished just a touch, but appears largely as first drafted. It is a little departure from my typical writing routine. This is a quick, on-the-scene reportorial effort, rather than the multi-draft editorial mini-essays typically found on the menu here. ..............................................................................................................................................

The setting is quite nice. It is genuinely Autumn. Temperatures are in the low 70’s (which, for my Metric friends, converts to super-comfy). There is a lovely breeze, perhaps just a bit too fresh as my hair is blowing quite randomly across my face, and lodging all too often on my glossed lips. My MacBook, a cool glass of Pinot Grigio and I are loitering around late Wednesday afternoon at Café 19 for a little exercise in real-time blogging.

The effect that I am out to achieve here, deep in the heart of Atlantic Station in Atlanta that of a professional woman catching up on firestorms at the office that happened in my absence. My ensemble is office appropriate, at best, a look that a successful media exec, or perhaps a lawyer might adopt for a day in front of the clients.

I am surrounded by women who are dressed like me, and men who are dressed fairly much as I typically am. People who are loafing, and engaged in business, shoppers and tourists, wait staff and wastrels. The idea today is enjoy my wine, look around, write what I see and feel, and share with you my observations. From an authorial perspective, it is my hope to limit editing as much as possible. I am an embedded reporter today, and will try to deliver just the dry facts of the event.

And I must confess that the facts are as dry as the wine. This I could put down to one of three possibilities.

- People here are just entirely o.k. with a Cross Dresser,
- I am occupying my role well enough to “pass”, or
- We are all too busy to pay mind to the people around us.

Of course it could be a combination of all of these things, and some other unconsidered elements thrown in for good measure. Who’s to know when it comes to Earthlings after all?

My waitress today is the heartbreakingly cute young thing who has taken care of me before. I love her privately. I find it so charming that so often it is the people with the most menacing piercings who are the most gentle and happy people you are likely to meet in a day. But she is doing a little extra, deeper look at me today.

I think, that she has put Petra together with a chap she has served in the past. I think she knows the face under the make up, but wonders whether it is quite the right thing to say, “ ... howdy, you look different today”. Out of politeness, she just takes care of me. Out of politeness, I am happy to be just another customer even though we both know something extra.

The woman at the table next to me, has wonderful fashion sense and very nice legs. She is a little younger then I, and is sporting a smart black pencil skirt, and a very fancy dark faux-lace cardi over a simple camisole. She is in commercial real estate, going by the table chat. Her two male colleagues have just left her table to take a foot tour of this nicely designed, upmarket, but far from fully occupied commercial / retail / residential development. We exchange smiles.

The poor dear, she looks lovely, but there is a mountain of paperwork and a Coke in front of her. As soon as her colleagues go walkies, she is on the phone to her husband to figure out exactly what to do with their child who came down with something yesterday and has had five shots today.

And if this isn’t enough, she is seated at a corner table where the wind blows wild, and every lost rube from Mobile to Monticello is leaning across the patio rail asking her where such and such a restaurant is or how far Ikea is from here. She does look competent, yes, but she is not wearing a name badge, or a tiara and sash. She seems to know her way around here though, and so as soon as she sets somebody off in the right direction, a new couple leans in for help. I have just pulled up the Atlantic Station merchant and services web site on my totally cute Mac. I am going to sign off and go help her out.

To be continued.

.........................................................................................................................................

There was a lot of good stuff that happened after I stopped taking “live” notes. I will be gathering all of that from memory, putting it back together and serving it up as time allows later this week.

Brush with Celebrity. SCC Video Cameo

Typically, I have pretty good instincts around cameras. That is to say when other people are holding them, I try to stay out of the frame. I really do try, but quite deep in the evening of the final night of the recent Southern Comfort Conference I let my guard down.

My charming friend Aislin spied me walking through the scene of a short interview with a very visible star of the TG universe, Chloe Prince and sent me a link. Chloe is noted amongst other things for her blogging, the creation of the Pink Essence social network and a very graceful and informative ABC Primetime feature that exposed a lot of mainstream living room dwellers to one remarkable woman’s life.

The second lass swanning (thanks Aislin, I can't really quibble with your language) by Chloe’s left shoulder towards the camera around 15 seconds in wearing the black boat neck cocktail dress is me. The dress is holding up nicely. My makeup, not so much. As to the walk, I cannot recall whether I was going for an amplified hip-sprocket gait or had simply fallen prey to the effects of too much wine, women and song.



It seems as though the embedded YouTube vid is not displaying on iPhones, and perhaps other devices. So here is a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMeYjHsJ3Gs

Next year I think I will use the service doors and avoid the camera crews. In the meantime, I suppose one must in some way note their You Tube debut.

As for Chloe, she is just admirable. A completely genuine person. I attended one of her presentations at SCC, on the topic of living genuinely, online and otherwise. She spoke from a position of authority on the matter, and with such feeling for we “students” in the room that it was all quite moving. There were a few sniffles and many dabbed eyes. Her seminar was one of the things that made conference attendance a real dollar value for me.

If you are not a member of Pink Essence, you should go look around, and join up if you like what you see. You will likely feel more compelled to attend SCC too if you do, so be forewarned.

If you are camera shy you should, like I will, practice your 180 degree turn and retreat move, and do try, my dears, to pay attention to where you are walking.

.............................................................................................................................................

On another note, this post is #200, which is I suppose somewhat of a milestone. Thanks to everyone who has visited, full body hugs to all of you who have left comments. I would have stopped much sooner without you. I suspect there are another couple of centuries still left in me. I look forward to sharing them with you.

Happy weekend all.

Petra Guest Blogs, yet again

It is my delight today to center and smooth my skirt before answering the virtual doorbell to welcome visitors from Guilty Pleasures, where I have a guest post up today. Darling, you look smashing, love your bag, please come in.

Regular readers of Voyages en Rose are encouraged to go and visit with Ally and friends over Guilty Pleasures. I wrote a product review on some terrific new tights there, and you might get a laugh out of it. In just under 900 words I was unable to discern whether my new Scrunchy Sheers were made for Supermodels or Streetwalkers. They might be appropriate for solicitors in general, or The Solicitor General. Honestly, I still can’t make my mind up.

In fact, I went so far as to model them in both modes. I do know for certain now that I am not made for the life of the Streetwalker. The gal in the middle (pictured below, please do not click to enlarge) looks pretty much like I like to feel. The more risqué ensembles left and right did feel weirdly empowering for a couple of minutes, but a couple of minutes only. Truly I did not recognize myself. That is not good. Our clothes should reveal the true person within, not distort her. I will think about Halloween though.

So go and read, and then do hurry back would you? While you are away, I am going to have a quiet chat with our newish visitors.

Just now I suspect that you might be surprised to find yourselves reading a Cross Dresser's blog. You probably would have guessed earlier if I had posted a pic on GP, but my real camera is out of town with Mrs. Bellejambes just now and the low-res snaps I did get were just not sharp enough for a real blog. Additionally, it must be said that the model in the snaps over on GP does have nicer legs than me. I am an authority on legs if nothing else.

In any event, welcome to Voyages en Rose. For those of you who have not already hit the back button, I have a thought for you:

You already know a Cross Dresser. It is likely though that you do not know who that person is.

Perhaps a neighbor, a happily married chap like me, whose wife knows and is to one degree or another is supportive. Perhaps somebody who is deeply private in their habits, a little bit guilt ridden and fearful, and is just now wearing a smart pair of tights at the office under his khaki’s two cubes down the way from yours. Perhaps the new woman in Customer Support with the biggish shoulders who, in the not too distant past, had a different name and a different gender assignment, but discovered her true nature through wardrobe experimentation. We are all over the place.

We have wardrobe elements in common, but at some level we are unique as fingerprints or snowflakes. For me, I arrived at this place in my life after long decades of pushing a curiosity away. When I welcomed the curiosity and explored it fully and freely, here is what I found: I am a pretty happy, successful and well adjusted guy, and am good and natural at those guy-ish things. All good, but just not a big enough canvas for me to fully express myself on.

I have always been entranced by and envious of women. Really, you must know you make our heads snap and swivel with your looks. My, but you are beautiful. And your minds, how they confound and delight and sometimes short circuit ours. The company of women is infinitely more interesting and rewarding than the company of men. For me, by presenting as well and fully as I can as a woman, I get as close as I can to experiencing the world through a more feminine set of sensibilities. This is a real privilege. This makes me a happier, better guy.

I have been blogging about becoming that better guy for a couple of years now. If you would like to read a little more about my take on femininity, fashion and foundation garments, I would be happy if you would stay a while and browse here and there. Here are some links to prior posts you might want to follow:

Guilty Pleasures readers being fond of Lingerie, may enjoy this essay: a year end review of a years worth of very rigorous hosiery reviews.

This is a good time of year to remember what a nightmare Black Friday is. Last year I hit the shops and lived to tell the tale here. Take my advice – stay home.

Try this one for a small essay on some of the style icons that caught and held my attention on TV when I just a youngster (hint – there was a Josie and the Pussycats before Rosario Dawson).

Strappy sandals, honesty and openness with a beautiful stranger in the shoe clearance racks. Sounds like a little slice of shopping heaven over here.

Lastly, a small essay on how technology, specifically the internet is helping people like me to find a way to express themselves more openly, with fewer negative repercussions.

And you, dear new friend, can help that happy process along too. In fact, your help is needed.

Cross Dressers, and Transgendered people in general do not have an easy time coming to terms with themselves. But many, and hopefully more each day, do. So if you find someone in your lives struggling with such issues or living out loud with their truths, smile and show some kindness. That will help. And please, by all means, whatever fashion tips you have for us are most sincerely welcomed.

I do hope that the time you have spent here today helps your best, most admired and most envied feminine characteristics surface when that moment arises.

Thanks for visiting.

Getting out the Vote effort

Some of you are old enough to remember all the way back to last August when I entered myself in a Victoria’s Secret $5,000 shopping spree sweepstakes. Some of you too were kind enough to throw a vote or 2 my way. Weirdly enough, with your help I managed to place #432 out of well over 10,000 contestants in the pretty online melee. Notes on just how close I came to smothering under the weight of a truckload of fully lined brassieres can be found here.

But don’t visit there just now. I am at it again, for a smaller prize, and with better odds I think.

My fashionable friend Miss Neira introduced me to Chictopia some time ago. Chictopia is a kind of Facebook meets Lookbook social network. Younger, prettier and more fashionable people than I congregate there, and so I created a profile and drop in from time to time to see what the style muse is whispering to those in the know.

Well, today I find out that Chictopia has a small Nine West giveaway on the go, and so I have elbowed my way into the “Search for a Stylish Sole” sweepstakes. One can never have too many shoes, and rare are the opportunities to get them for free.

I know, I know, the odds are slight, and stacked against me. But with that said, I came within a single misfiring neuron of adopting the name Dawn Quixote before embracing Petra Bellejambes as my Nom de Femme, so tilting against the windmills of reality is something that comes quite naturally to me.

Tilt with me now, won’t you my dear?

It should be an easy thing. Here, for example is a link. You will land up on a page that looks very much like the one pictured here. Just at the top right of the ensemble snapshot is some kind of votey-widgety-thingy that you should be able to click on without registering for anything. Unless you want to register and create a profile, which is a lovely way to defer taking the garbage out or tidying up the dinner mess for 5 minutes. And unless you think my look is ghastly. But in all honesty, I am just being greedy and grabby and am desirous of your vote. Do I need a platform to run on? OK, here it comes…

If elected I will institute sweeping reform to the Dry Cleaning and Valet Parking industries so that we, all of us, from sea to shining sea, will look more crisp while walking shorter distances into smart restaurants.

I hope that this is a change you can believe in. Again, link to the contest just here.

Momma needs a new pair of shoes. Thanks in advance for your sympathy and support.

.............................................................................................................

Update: As it happens, some sort of Chictopia registration is required in order to vote. Damn. One of you cheerful people did, and then voted for me, and for this I am grateful. I think I have a better chance if I just self-fund my shopping spree. Alas.

Again, thanks!

Cross Dressing Economics. Fashion Week Edition

Recently I was coursing the aisles and pawing the racks at a nearby Bloomingdales with a charming female companion who can afford to do more than just the coursing and pawing at Bloomingdales. In between patting myself on the back for resisting an unnecessary acquisition and acute pangs of regret for not resisting it I spoke a little about how I keep my shopping under control by painstakingly keeping track of purchases.

You see, I maintain a spreadsheet with garments classified by type, vendor, description, full retail price and actual price paid. Furthermore, I count the number of uses I get from each garment to arrive at a Cost per Wear (CPW) number that should, in the long term, help me optimize on future purchases. All very logical of course, and very much in keeping with my practice of over-engineering the protective rationales that keep my life perched barely on the rails. I hope too, at some deluded level, that this document will keep somebody in a well funded Gender Studies program busy for a post grad year or two sometime in the future.

My friend tut-tutted:

“Oh, no, no, never. That simply isn’t done. It’s just not on you know.”

Very English, my friend.

In any event, she opined that this was a distinctly male habit, and at complete odds with my appearance. We then went to Nordstrom’s to look at shoes and get past the slightly awkward moment. The moment passed. But now while she is not looking, I thought I would share some numbers with you.

The chart below (click to enlarge) contains all clothing on I had on display over the course of my week at SCC: shoes, hose, skirts, dresses, tops and outerwear, minus all the belts, bags and bling. As to the rest of the garments not on display, well some things a lady simply does not share.

I dressed Monday to Saturday, largely in items purchased late spring and summer that I had not worn before other than trying on for fit, and so my CPW numbers are not so low as they will get with time and multiple outings. Still, even with the newness of most of the modeled pieces, I think I deserve a Girl Scout Bargain Hunting merit badge.

The summary findings are these. It costs me $100 to present fully. Again this is the one time expense, from top to toe. My fully amortized cost (Lifetime Aggregate CPW) for complete ensembles ranged from a high of $100 for an outfit featuring one of my rare full retail purchases, (a snazzy Rachel Rachel Roy off the shoulder tunic), to a shockingly low $37 for the dramatic cocktail dress look I poured myself into for the final gala dinner. These numbers have nowhere to go but down as long as the universe is expanding and not doing something else unexpected.

The data further confirms a sense I have had that my blouse assortment is not broad enough. I had to repeat a top once in the week. Tut-tuts again.

There is a seemingly outsized cost contribution from shoes and hosiery in my typical ensemble (see Fig. 2). Almost 40% of a typical outfit investment clings to my toes. Allow me to make a case for this seemingly lavish and unfair distribution: The toes are worth it dear friends. They will tell you so in no uncertain terms after a few hours in poorly made and poor fitting shoes. As to my average $18.00 hosiery costs, well, nothing makes a so-so skirt look good, and nothing makes a terrific skirt look va-va-voom faster than quality legwear. The reverse effect is true too. Beyond that, the comfort provided by well made nylons adds immeasurably to your enjoyment of a long day dressed.

At the end of that long day, somebody should want to rip the pantyhose off of you, and that somebody should not be you. So there.

As to the rest of the ensembles, many of them are pictured in prior posts. Scroll away, or site search on SCC for more. Their average discount from retail is 70% (not counting hosiery). Being this mercenary on price has allowed me to shop in places that on the surface look a little pricey for the part-time gal on a budget. With this, the overall quality and effect of my appearances is better than it has been, or might be. Civilians and fellow travelers alike were generous enough in their complements to let me know that I am zeroing in on my style sweet spot nicely. Even without the kind words though, you know it yourself when things are correct. Suddenly, you are walking like you mean it. You just feel good. This feeling is worth the investment of time, care and the few dollars you can spare to get it.

Getting that feeling, and keeping it under control too is something to aim for. If you do not need a spreadsheet to achieve that effect, I bow in your general direction. Just now, I must sign off and go update mine with a couple of blouse purchases I made this past weekend in order to resolve the imbalance issue raised by the numbers.

Ah, the things we do in the service of science and beauty.

And you my dear. What do you do to keep the purse and closet both stuffed?