Apr 30, 2010

Who are my Cross Dressing Friends?

A very happy Friday to you, dear reader. My Cross Dressing furnace is shut down for the warm southern months, but the pilot light between my ears flickers steadily. While I won’t have many new tales of pubic daring-do and fashion-don’t to relate to you here for a while, I do expect that I will need to vent the gathering fumes periodically, if only for safety’s sake.

So, who are my Cross Dressing friends? Well, readers of this blog are certainly in the mix, but there is another group. A group that I have already met, but am yet to know.

Got that?

Hmmm. Fair enough. Perhaps a few more words are required.

Unless I am more deluded than I like to think I am, I managed to obscure my habits from the world for years. I believe that I did a pretty good job of that in fact. My wife was, after all, surprised when I did get around to introducing the other woman in our relationship to her. I have every confidence that the rest of my family, my neighbors, friends and professional colleagues are equally in the dark about my life in the pink.

They really have no reason to think of me as anything other than a pretty regular guy apart from the normal ticks and quirks of personality that I mark my territory with. There is nothing in my typical day-to-day appearance that would indentify me as being active in any sort of TG Sorority. My movement and mannerisms (again in the typical day) are all guy too. On the golf course, while my scores would likely improve if I did indeed swing like a girl, I do not.

So the cloak is fairly effective. There are hundreds of people that I keep society with that do not know Petra Bellejambes and have no reason to suspect her existence.

Now, take a look with me through the other end of the telescope.

Amongst the hundreds of people in my current social universe, and amongst the thousands through all the years, it is a mathematical certainty that I have known, that I do know, and that perhaps today I am very close to a Cross Dresser who I do not know is a Cross Dresser.

And the Cross Dresser is but a single slice out of the fruity and nutritious Transgender Pie. How long would I need to flip pages of my high school yearbook before seeing a picture of an ancient and slight acquaintance who is living today happily in a different gender, or unhappily in the same gender? Not long, I suspect.

When I think of the countless commercial client presentations and theatrical audiences I have held temporary spell over through the decades, the numbers get really big. I must believe that within those rooms there have been at least a football squads worth of fellows furtively snapping a garter strap beneath the flannel trousers.

We are a stealthy bunch. We learn to be stealthy early. We optimize around stealth. We know how to cover tracks. We are expert at amplifying characteristics that convince our audiences, and sometimes ourselves, that there is nothing unusual going on within or without us.

And so, while I know Cross Dressers who I am friends with, I do not know who my Cross Dressing friends are.

We live in a good time friends, that is to say we live in better times than came before us. There are better times ahead I believe, most avowedly. I am hopeful that things will continue to trend towards openness in these matters, towards a fuller acceptance of gender diversity, towards a tearing down of the wall that separates our false binaries.

Surely as this happens, we will all get to know some of our friends a bit better, and vice versa. And that can only be a good thing.

Have a happy weekend.


Couture Carrie said...

Your positivity is so refreshing, darling Petra!

Hope you have a gorgeous weekend :)


Wendy said...

Yes, we are a stealthy lot.

Lately, I've been wondering if, as we age, we become less cloaked. I've noticed that the older people get, the less they seem bothered about hiding their true thoughts and feelings. The cantakerous old man or the direct old woman are more truth than fiction. It's as though our socially accepable veneer wears off as we age. Some never have much veneer, but most of us cover up what we're really like to some degree. My thoughts are that this loss of veneer might be an actual physical phenonemnon; brain cells that reign in our less acceptable traits may die off as we age.

All that to say, I wonder if we who practice the fine art of public deception about our real nature become more open about it as we age. Or do we just not care anymore?


Stace said...

Nice post, and something that I have also thought about...

All the people in similar boats who will never know of the others out there...


Jenny said...

"a single slice out of the fruity and nutritious Transgender Pie."

What a fantastic turn of phrase!

As someone who's slowly coming out to all and sundry I'm just waiting for that "Now I've got something to tell you in return" moment.

Lynn Jones said...

Mmm.. Pie! Y'know, I really should have had my tea earlier today - all this talk about food is dring me nuts. :)

But yes, I think I do know what you mean. Occasionally there's a ping against the tranny radar - Did he really just say that? or from behaviours that slip from under the mask.

Tights Lover said...

I've thought about this quite often myself. Sometimes I wonder if finding out that a close friend or relative dressed would make things better or even less comfortable. Hmmm.

Anonymous said...

Anything's possible, but with today's social media, and my exposure within it, I suspect that anyone I know who's out there in any meaningful way would be known to me and vice versa.

...a chilling thought that I have friends who are, unknown to me, interested in crossdressing - as they would be the most likely to find me online and be in a position to blow my cover.

...hasn't happened yet, so draw your own conclusions...

Jessica De Leon said...

Your writing style is captivating -- I feel like I should be paying for my subscription to your blog :). Keep up the great work!

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