Petra’s Pantyhose Parade – Stockingirl.com Edition

The parade is a day late this week because of a stroke of enormous good fortune. The originally intended post was, at best, a random pile of stretched metaphor and torn imagery, the literary equivalent of a cheap hookers even cheaper fishnets after too long a night. I simply couldn’t get the words right. Then, just as blogger-despair was about to set in, a message in my in-box:

You Won!

More on the particulars of exactly what I won, and from whom down-post, but just for a moment, let me tell you that I never win things. I have good fortune in life in general, but as far as contests, raffles, lotteries, fast moving check-out lines and other such random events go, nada, rien, zilch. Never.

Friends would tell you that I use up my full quota of good random luck up parking. Its uncanny really, great spots just appear upon need. And the luck is not wasted on me either: I have great skills, regardless of footwear. I am fearless about the u-turn parallel park maneuver on busy urban streets. Flush and flat to curb on first and only required attempt, right in front of the restaurant without wheel scraping, arousing a full spectrum of reactions from complete strangers, from jealous rage to manly admiration.

I park, therefore I am.

But win things? Nah. One must try though you know. Last week, my favorite Fashion Blogger, Couture Carrie partnered up with Stockingirl.com to provide a glimmer of hope to their many fans by putting a madly glimmering pair of stockings up for grabs. The cost of entry? O, I had to push myself to somehow to take a stroll through CC’s beautifully curated pictorial display of lust-worthy light-catching metallic finish party dresses, and then drive enough oxygen to my brain to summon up a comment on the post. Poor Petra …

More on CC later, but for now, a better introduction to Stockingirl and my new stockings. Stockingirl has been catering to the requirements of refined hosiery enthusiasts around the world through their online store for close to 10 years now. They go right to the mills with great ideas that are often executed exculsively, and simply will not be found elsewhere. For variety, style, product knowledge, value and all around aesthetics, they are leaders. There is very little that Stockingirl carries that I do not want on my legs at some time or another in the happy future.

Right at the top of my own wish list was the pair in the contest, the Shiny Metallic Seamed Faux Fully Fashioned Nylon Sandalfoot Stockings. Not demure looking are they? The back-seam of course whispers sweet nothings to my readily engaged sense of nostalgia for by-gone times of hosiery glory. OK, fair enough, perhaps the effect is a little louder than a whisper. It’s a molten, liquid golden siren song. A song that will be soon serenading my legs. I'm really thinking about a new wig too. That auburn waterfall is almost too much.

Please visit them. They stock a terrific range of extra long stockings, and I know that I have a good number of tallish visitors here. You know who are you. You can expect a nice welcome from Stockingirl I am quite certain.

As to Couture Carrie, pay her a visit from time to time. She is the smiling one to the right. As a group, we cross dressers are noted too often for tragic fashion choices. It’s an odd thing really, when you consider how central dressing is to our habits. CC’s blog has been an inspiration, and has helped me raise my style game more than a notch or two. O, and she runs contests every now and then. Maybe you will be the next delighted winner. Good luck!

My regular tights review / reverie returns next week with a completely new chapter. I have a backlog of high-waisted, super-shaping sheers that I want to introduce you to. But first, let me take my notes to the garage for a tune up.

And again, thanks to Carrie and the nice ladies at Stockingirl!

Happy dressing, and everything else.

Petra's Pantyhose Parade – A Second Date with Donna Karan

Ask a figure skater or a gymnast how they feel about performing their routine very early in the competition, and they will tell you that the very thought makes them feel sick. Why O why is that Petra you ask, and I, without batting a heavily lacquered eyelash will tell you this:

Judges leave room for higher marks later in the contest, never being entirely sure of what will follow laudable, and even brilliant early performances.

Well friends, I am no different then those all too human judges, except that I am getting no kickbacks (dammit all) for my highly subjective rants and reveries on the topic of Pantyhose. And fearing (all the while praying desperately for) an endlessly surging tide of increasingly fine and loving leggings I kept a very tight set of reins on my scoring for some of the earlier efforts.

Donna Karan was a casualty of the poor fortune of an early draw. Early in January of this year the DK Maximum Control Satin Sheer felt and looked stunning and I said as much in my review. But the high price of the tested product, the ($18.50) and my relative conservatism (ed. not a noted cross dresser trait) in scoring placed them in 4th in a field of 5. Ouch.

I pulled them back up last week for a little shopping excursion en femme. Wherever I went I felt perfectly assured that I was wearing the finest leggings within a mile. My wonderful day ended in a TJ Maxx that was showing drastic markdowns on a good range of hosiery, including DK. I picked up a pair of the Sheer Bronze Control Top and promised to give Donna another try by re-rating the first pair, and test driving a new one. Work, work, work. Toujours travail. Pauvre Petra ne c’est pas?

Ahem. First the new pair notes. The tested Sheer Bronze Control Top are from the Essentials Collection, and are a moderate control, sandal foot dress sheer. Far from nude, these hose insist on attention with a very high glimmer factor. Your leg outlines and contours are beautifully highlighted, as though back lit. They confidently demand attention. Some high glimmer tights have a slightly slutty aspect to them. They look like they want to be ravaged by dawn or they simply won’t be happy. Donna is decidedly not that kind of girl. These are visible, but reserved. They just look terrific and so earn well deserved 8.5 Finish and Style points.

The effect on the wearer is superb too. There is no slack in the leg at 20% spandex, but still they breath well, and they glide on the leg as you descend stairs, cross and uncross, and just move through the day. You will not forget that you have them on. 8 points for fit (comfortable panty, good smooth waistband) and a rare 9.0 for feel. They are liquid, light and ‘lectric. Lovely in a word. I would clearly wear these to my own funeral and so they earn 8 Random Petra Points.

All of this taken even with a pretty rich price point of $16.00 drives Donna up onto the podium where clearly, she belongs. The Essential Sheer is ranked 3rd with a robust 185.2 points.

And now the earlier pair. The re-ranked Satin Sheers leap into 4th place with a very respectable 158.8 points, and our reigning Queen of the vast realm of Pantyhose remains Hanes. God Save the Silky Sheers.

I must confess, that I do not have a model lined up for next weeks review. I will clearly be doing a little shopping between now and then (stimulus comes in many, many forms, economic and tactile) and hope to find a worthy pair to introduce to you, dear friend.

Happy to have your suggestions in the meantime too. Don’t be shy. Got a tip? Leave a comment.

Till next time, happy dressing!

Petra's Pantyhose Parade - Volume 3

Ah yes, my gamine friends, welcome back. Petra’s Pantyhose Parade continues. This crossdresser has run into a little snag on her way to possessing a positively encyclopedic understanding of the pantyhose of the known universe.

My recently adjusted scoring model is broken. Again. Yes, price is important, but we cannot lose sight of the really costly efforts that make the difference between a good pair of hose and a great pair. I am a girl on a budget and will continue to factor in price in the scoring, but with a little more weight given to the look and feel elements of the tested tights. Additionally I have added a 5th criteria which is entirely at my discretion. Random Petra Points are, again, graded 1-10 by my snap answer to the posed rhetorical question … "how would I feel about attending my own funeral wearing these?" So again, glamour should win out in the long run.

Additionally, I have re-graded L’eggs pantyhose in light of their relative performance against this weeks efforts. I dropped them all a singe point. I still love them. Really I do. Its only that I fear I am going to find hose that feel marginally, and even much better in my voyages. I am fearful of crowding the top of my 1-10 scale. So, revised rankings (new formula) here.

This week, Silken Mist falls a notch to number 2 in the Pantyhose Parade overall , only by fractions of a single point. I of course reserve the right to wear, admire, and feel each of the fierce competitors and adjust scores accordingly as time allows and the mood drives me in my happy future. Silken Mists’ slightly less glam sister, Sheer Energy drops to 3rd. This week our working girl favorites go toe-to-toe with pantyhose for ladies who lunch. Lets all take Donna Karan and Nordstrom’s house brand out for a little stroll, shall we?

Before we begin, a couple of quick reminders. The tested product is worn while pondering and clicking away (on heels and keyboard) here. The legs simply cannot lie. Furthermore, I cannot be influenced by the generosity of anyone who would see fit to provide me with a lifetime supply of fine hosiery. Moreover, I would really love to test my integrity levels on that one, so do drop me a line if you are in a position to attempt to corrupt me….

Donna Karan is famed for dressing the successful woman and enabling projections of confidence and femininity in the mannish corridors of power. Petra busted the purse this week in an attempt to get that feeling, and O, dear friends, may I tell you its is small, small price to pay.

The Maximum Control Satin Sheer Toner feels like 2 beautiful garments invisibly mended together. Up top, a 39% Spandex control panty that locks in place like a loving anaconda and dares flesh to step out of line. Below the delicate thigh top floral detail is a fabulously sheer (15 denier) leg with enough elastic to maintain shape, but with no loss of beautiful light shimmer. These are sex-on-heels. I mean yummy. The touch is glorious. You will feel better then all the other girls in the room.

All of this of course comes at a price. Even during Nordstrom’s legendary semi-annual sale, the DK’s are not discounted. $18.50 off the shelf, or $16.50 online at all the usual suspects including Bare Necessities. The may not be Pantyhose to (literally) die for, but certainly, they are Pantyhose to die in.

Petra felt terribly guilty about paying full retail for anything in January. So much so that she started to refer to herself in the 3rd person, and more helpfully, splurged on the stuff that was on sale.

Nordstrom’s private label pantyhose were marked down from $10.00 to $5.00, putting this product into the everyday wear category. And the Sheer French Cut are a sheer joy, to my thinking, even at full retail.

The fit is every bit as good as the DK’s, and 2 points better than the L’eggs Silken Mist. Nice broad waist-band is roll resistant, so these can be nicely worn under clingy knits. Finish and general style are outstanding with a nice 25 denier leg, flashing a very subtle glimmer. The dainty French cut panty is there in the mirror to remind you which part of your personality is driving today. When I run these through the grading formula at the sale price, its just not fair to the other pantyhose . But even at the suggested retail price, these beauties manage to claw their way up on to the podium and this week, into the Gold Medal spot.

The DKs, hampered by the price tag miss the top 3, but have a very real and important place in my heart (and around my thighs).

A last note on the Nordstrom French Cuts. They are no longer available online. The Light Support panty sheers are pictured here, and have the same material qualities, minus the pretty bits. The sale is still on in stores, and if you are nearby I encourage you to pop in, drab or fab, and say hello. Staff is a little thin on the floors, but as always professional, helpful and as per usual, stylish and beautiful as I dream of being.

Next week … who knows. I will shop. This is true, and unavoidable. I will happily take suggestions about what I should buy and test. What makes your legs smile? Leave suggestions or comments in general here. And keep those seams straight till next time….