Petra’s Tuesday Traipse: The Power of the Purse

You and I might think of the Power of the Purse as that invisible beam that slays you mid-mall and pulls you (at great peril to your credit rating) into the warm and dangerous confines of that shop you swore to not visit. More broadly (no broads here, only Ladies I presume), the Power of the Purse is that old twist of the Golden Rule. She with the gold, rules.

Well, Petra has a purse or 2, and a little gold sloshing around in them. I have been exercising my Purse Power not only by shopping, but by learning from and leaving behind Product Reviews wherever possible. Product reviews are terrific things. I learn from them. I learn what about what other real people (with real figures and without real armies of stylists, set decorators and lighting assistants) think about a garment I am considering buying. The wisdom of crowds it is called, and you can save yourself from buyers remorse by listening on this buzz.

On the other side of the coin, and to me, more importantly though, you can leave your own kind or sharp words behind as encouragement or caution to the next sister in line. Pay it forward. Save a girl from disappointment, or encourage them to be brave. Sorority solidarity.

There is more though. Senior management is paying attention to these reviews. These are tough times for retailers, online, around the corner and spanning the globe. The retailers who going to survive are those that listen to their customers and provide a welcoming shopping experience. The more retail management expects their income to come from crossdressers, the better our experience will be.

Here are a few samples of recently posted Petra online reviews. My suggested guidlines here:

• Be fair. No garment is comprehensively bad. So if you have something negative to say about a purchase, do feature something positive, something that redeems the garment to a degree.
• Be creative. Go ahead, put a little sizzle into your review. If you make the effort and have a stylish way of saying what you want to say, it will increase your odds of being published and engaging the next reader.
• Be open. Say that you are CD or TG or whatever describes you best. I have been delighted to see self identified M2F crossdressers talking about the fit and feel of dresses, pantyhose, you name it online. If we are not furtive about our shopping, the market should organize around us slowly and surely.

I want to give a particularly warm (and hopefully not overly familiar) hug to our friends at Macy’s - the Grand Old Lady of department stores. Sales Assistants have been helpful and just nicely curious about my shopping, en femme and in drab. When I have been in a Macy’s wearing a Macy’s dress, it gets noticed by staff. On 2 separate occasions an SA has excitedly told me that I look terrific and that they appreciate that I am a Macys customer. Online, my reviews have been published quickly, and weirdly, other customers have found them helpful.

The really smart and helpful SA’s have encouraged me to take a moment as well writing about the shopping experience. Look at your receipts. There is a URL that you should visit and take 2 minutes to tell management how you enjoyed (or did not enjoy) your visit. These get read too. I have received 2 very personalized email responses from Macy’s Store Managers thanking me for my business, and promising to single out the SA for excellent performance in front of the whole team. That review may be the difference when it comes time to chopping hours or laying off staff.

I have had some great experiences with JC Penny too. I have reviewed a good handful of items and have risen to the status of Top 1000 Contributor. I am not sure what goes into their reviewer algorithm, but I suspect that people who have read my reviews have bought the reviewed product. Everyone wins.

Honorable mention to Target and American Apparel. These are all retailers who seem committed to giving control of the message to their consumers to a very large degree. It is control that is ours to seize and to benefit from. We are shoppers, hear us roar.

Its all easy, and to me fun. I encourage you to use your femme online persona and take the time to start a dialog with the vendors who hope you open your purse for them. The purse has power, and who knows that better than us? Lets wield it and not just yield to it.

And to retailers who don’t provide for online reviews, you are underestimating your most potent marketing vector, your most sincere critic and the people who pays your salary. And just look at us … clearly this is company you want to keep.

Today's post has a very America-centric message to it. Alas, here is where my femme shopping get done. I would be delighted to hear which retailers earn your business and your respect in your part of the world. Don’t hesitate to leave a comment.

Happy dressing, shopping and everything else.

Petra's Tuesday Traipse - Online Makeovers

Its not all a bed of roses ladies is it this whole presenting feminine thing. Do you ever feel while shopping, or dressing, or applying makeup or really while doing anything that expresses your femme self that you are the slightly awkward kid who moved to a new school halfway through the year?

Everybody in the room sounds just a little different. What you learned at your old school does not sync up with the curricula at the new place. There is some code in the social order and you don’t have the decoder ring. You are way behind everyone, standing out like a sore thumb and hopeless of ever catching up.

When I transform, I am that kid. And I am sure that I am not alone. The 40-something genetic girl has decades of feminine apprenticeship that this 40-something cross dresser just did not get. What shapes flatter me? Does that high waistband lengthen me or fatten me? How about makeup. Does the mascara go on after the eye shadow? And the eye shadow … do I make the lids lighter or darker than just under the brow line? Consider your own experiences --- just how often have you had to really puzzle through questions that are just second nature for the GG?

For me, this not knowing, this delicious confusion and uncertainty is a part of the appeal and the tip of the hook that tugs at me. Being lost in the labyrinths of the feminine world is an adventure. But dammit it would be nice if we all looked just a little more … fabulous, just a little more …. effortlessly, wouldn’t it? I am not asking .... too much, am I?

So for today’s Tuesday Traipse I want to encourage you ceaselessly self-improving and ever hopeful friends to spend some time on a couple of sites I have enjoyed recently.

MyShape. Set aside a good hour, grab a tape measure and keep your femme online persona handy – you will be setting up an account with my new friends. What MyShape does really very well is recommend styles, lengths, shapes, silhouettes, fabrics and etc that are going to work with your shape. MyShape takes a questionnaire approach to getting all the vital dimensions into their system, and to determining what your style comfort zone is.

With this information they are able to make ensemble suggestions from their affiliated vendors that suit you, that should fit you, and that in all likelihood will flatter you. Take notes, commit to memory, and then go shopping. You are not obliged to buy anything directly from MyShape ( I would not of course try to stop you, you shopping fool you), but you are almost certain to learn something new and avoid a couple of fashion potholes. I have. I really feel as though I will shop smarter next time out.

And I will look smarter too. Not just wardrobe, but on the hair front too. Our next stop explains just how. Staci over at Femulate posted this piece about the Hollywood Virtual Hair Makeover on her blog last week. For those of you who missed out, take a little personal time at Instyle and get a better grip on your hair. You will want to have a nice mug shot of yourself with as much of your face exposed as possible and your best makeup coloring. Simply place it in the style finder and start to play with the hair of the stars. This is a low cost / no cost way to picture a new look, a new length, a new shade that better suits your face shape and complexion. Or at the very least, it’s a few minutes worth of fun if its just too damn cold to step outside.

Naturally, nothing beats trying on the real thing. But when you don’t have either the time or the purse power to do exactly that, this easy service tempts, educates and again, should help you make some better choices the next time you are contemplating a change.

These sites are just a couple that stood out from a really short and if I am to be fully honest, not overly diligent search. I will find more time to seek out other helpful how-to and what-not-to sites for future posts. I am sure that many of you already have favorites. Don’t be greedy, share them out with us all here. After all, if we are not helping to make the world a prettier place, just who is?

Happy dressing and happy everything else!

Petra's Tuesday Traipse - Volume 5

Crossdressing is interesting. And not just figuring out how to walk in heels or fastening the clasp on a back zip cocktail dress. Of course, being able to do those things, and a thousand other graceful indicators of femininity is a form of accomplishment. And accomplished people, whether CD or TG (or any other place on the spectrum) tend to accomplish much in diverse, and sometimes surprising arenas. Many excel at the whole writing thingy.

Recently I have been lucky enough to stumble into the online lairs of a handful of Crossdressers and other gender gifted individuals who have really captured my attention. These are personal journals that manage to get past surface issues, and explore with style, sensitivity, insight and wit some of the more profound aspects of life for people who share our enthusiasms.

The sites in today’s Tuesday Traipse stand out for honesty and quality. They manage to not get too preachy or self-obsessed along the way. Additionally, the authors do not ever lose sight of the magical, electrical qualities of the transformations that we are drawn too. Moreover, and finally, these are sites that stand out for nice finishes, or for great execution of the technical tactics that make it possible to find beautiful roses amongst the myriad thorns of the web.

So here are a handful of blogs I would encourage you to visit.

Lets start today with the fabulously named Femulate. Anyone serious about writing has creating a new word on their “bucket list”. Well hats off Staci. Femulate is a peach. Beyond this creative flourish, Femulate is easy on the eye. The layout is clean, text stands out from background well and the site refreshes daily with really nice, aspirational imagery of beautiful, confident and yes, fully dressed women. Women who I invariably want to femulate.

Content on the site runs the gamut from the very whimsical to deeply contentious and political. Regardless of how serious the issue of the day is though, it never drowns out the essential enthusiasm for life and enjoyment that Staci clearly has a death grip on. It will take you just 2 minutes a day to get a piece of that for yourself. Go. Now.

When you have more than 2 minutes to spare, may I suggest the somewhat more demanding blog of Tricia Dale. This is stuff to curl up on the couch with. Leave enough time for your nails to dry. Prepare to spend some quality time. Those of you with a background in English Lit will recognize the epic, serial storytelling of Thomas Hardy. Those of you who pinched your big sisters Enid Blyton books will be similarly comforted.

If you are musically inclined too however, marvel at the remarkably well executed device employed by our 3rd person heroine to provide narrative structure. Chapter names are borrowed from a vast and diverse collection of beautiful songs, songs that express ineffably feminine perspectives. Complete with lyrics no less. Go. When you have more time.

Jillian Page comes from another school of authorship altogether. Jillian is an actual journalist. Not a frustrated amateur. She was thinking and writing for a living long before Jillian was broadly introduced to the world as, well… as Jillian. If you want to see the world through the eyes of a professional who happens to be gender transitioning, this is the place to go.

American gals may take a moment or 2 to get used to seeing the letter “u” following the letter “o” more than Webster would like. Once past that, Jillian’s dispatches are bigger than bite size, and dense with personal observations that are just drenched with experience, both authorial and personal. Jillian is in full M2F transition mode. She is creating an essential piece of social archaeology in real time here. Don’t miss an issue. Go. Subscribe to her feed.

And as much as I enjoy my visits to these 3 blogs, I cannot imagine how many terrific sites and insights I am missing. The more I look around the more I realize you cannot swing a purse around here without hitting a clever blogette. If you know one (or if you are that girl), drop a line, or leave a comment here on this post. I’d love to know what I am missing.

Petra’s Tuesday Traipse – Volume 4

Well, when we traipse, we use our legs. And in that spirit I am turning my gaze south of the waistband and looking at 3 distinct and lovely websites that focus on fashion for the legs. Get your passports out too, we are going global ... if its Tuesday, we must be in pantyhose.

Wolford, the legendary Austrian hosiery haus has been helping women in general and legs in particular look better since 1950. The product line and web site remain fresh, compelling and highly desirable. The finishes on the web site are as good as the finishes on the leggings. I do hope to be buried in the Individual 10 sheers (black naturally).

The site itself is built to polish the brand and not to sell product. The brand is supported in part by slick navigation and page rendering but mostly in the photography. Honestly, these legs look good. And that’s all you get here. And for me, well that is plenty. Love the site. For those of you who are in the income bracket to afford Wolford, bareneccessities.com has a great selection and the best prices you will see anywhere. For more fun, take a weekend in New York and visit the shop on Madison. Yummy.

From Austrian fabricator to Canadian retailer now. Shapings.com is located just west of Toronto and does a global trade in hard-to-find luxury and specialty leggings. The merchandise selection is broad and the prices seem right. Shapings does not put a lot of work into creating a gorgeous web site, but they are clearly passionate about pantyhose, they roam the globe looking for great hosiery, and will ship to you wherever you are.

Additionally, a visit to Shapings is worth it for anyone who simply wants to know more about tights in general. Exhaustive glossary section, and o by the way, an indispensable tutorial on how to put on pantyhose. Believe me, even if you have been in tights since you were a tot, you can learn something you will love here. Lastly, the nice people at Shapings are happy to cater to the CD / TG crowd, and that must be applauded.

Lastly today, a very happy find in England. Please visit one of my favorite blogs “Too Many Tights”. A dedicated legging enthusiast and fashion professional posts often, pushes the fashion envelope and even (little drum role please) fabricates tights for sale. It is refreshing to see some old-fashioned guild / craft approach being taken to making any sort of product in our mass produced and anonymous times. That some of that care is dedicated to tights just makes me feel so much better about our future as a species. Go ahead and pick up this RSS feed and enjoy.

Again, nothing in any of this but my desire to share what I find along the way. Please send me your favorite sites (even if it is your own). I’ll never find everything I want to see alone!

Petra's Tuesday Traipse

Well the holidays are upon us. Last minute shopping and the loving presence of houseguests are really eating into the dressing hours. All happiness at a price I suppose. And yes, it truly is a happy time.

All of the end of year activity eats into the blogging time too. So here is an abbreviated traipse through some cross dressed corners of the internet that have stood out for attention this week. Again, my list will always be a little random, like any online session. This is not a business venture for me. If I like a place I visit, I will be happy to share it with you. Some will be commercial sites, some nicely written and well connected blogs, and some will merely contain the sort of (non-pornographic) imagery that makes my heart flutter. All of them have the effect of helping me, and hopefully you, feel a little less alone.

If you have a favorite I would love to hear from you. Even if you are promoting your own beautiful site.

For sensitivity of thought and a wonderful seasonal message, please visit Vanessa at Crossdresserheaven. Her blog post from earlier this week really hit home for me…. Its called Crossdressing Christmas Wish List. Now, go read it!

After visiting with Vanessa, toddle over to L’eggs.com for a quick look around. They are running a nice little contest for a years worth of lovely leggings, and who would not want to win that? Just go here, give the nice people an email address and hope for the best. I am reviewing L’eggs product in this weeks Petra’s Pantyhose Parade. Mine feel terrific and look good (given what they have to work with...). If you want to be the first to read the review, be sure to register here for email updates!

And lastly, for a little eye candy for everyone who, like me, is deeply envious of (and full of admiration for) the way that genetic girls look in delicate, feminine foundation garments. The Seduction Lingerie Blog is a very tasteful, constantly updated online peek beneath the blouse and up the skirt. You will want to buy o so much of what you see. The great news is that because they are based in the UK, ( and the odds are that you are not …) then you can more easily avoid going broke on your very refined impulses.

So again, I implore you to surf well, dress happily, and tell me where to go (online I mean). Thanks and Happy Holidays!